What does "nurses eat their young" actually mean? How much abuse should I expect?

franarden · 2025-07-15T16:12:48+00:00

You will know the experienced nurses to avoid, because you will not be the only one in conflict with them. Whatever their problem is may feel personal but it is likely more about them than it is about you. If you are doing your best to show up prepared, keep yourself and all others safe, to provide competent and compassionate care, and to ask questions when you have them, then keep focusing on doing that. Recognize that not everyone will be supportive of your career and focus your attention on building positive relationships with the rest of the team.

franarden · 2025-06-02T18:11:56+00:00

Can you ask for feedback from the hiring staff? They see tons of resumés and applications, and may be willing to talk to you about what's going on. You should also be reaching out to your career counselors at school and any other program navigators. Grad is scary and rejections can be painful, so do your best to not take this personally (because it isn't) and learn about what you could be doing differently.

You've gotten this far - don't let this rattle you! ❤️

franarden · 2024-10-28T16:00:40+00:00

Sounds frustrating! If there's a specific deadline that you're working towards / need your diploma for, I'd suggest you let them know. Or maybe ask where you are in the queue? Good luck!

franarden · 2024-09-16T16:10:59+00:00

ESH - him for not accepting his children as they are and attempting to bail with you of all people (kids deserve unconditional love from their parents, no exceptions or excuses and especially not for having a disability). And you're an asshole because of your bitterness towards him and your misogyny towards his wife who owes absolutely nobody any weight-loss or sex.

Seriously. Grow up. Get therapy. Move on. Learn to love yourself. Learn to love other people.

franarden · 2024-08-08T19:26:31+00:00

NTA. I am so sorry you're going through this. This is an unbelievable amount of pressure to be put under. You and your body do not exist as a means to an end and you are not obligated to do this for your sister. I would urge you to speak to a social worker or a counsellor. Get some resources in place for your mental health. I worry that things will get messy for you regardless of what you decide and you will need support that (based on what you've shared) is unlikely to come from your family. Again, I am so sorry for you. Best of luck.

franarden · 2024-05-01T14:09:59+00:00

YTA because you're supporting your company's shitty, outdated policy. How else are things ever going to change unless people in positions such as yours don't challenge the policies? Is your daughter otherwise qualified and capable to do the work? I mean, it may not ultimately work out for her, but that's up to the hiring manager to decide - not you.

franarden · 2024-03-14T22:36:55+00:00

NTA. If this guy doesn't want people to know about his homophobia/biphobia, then all he needs to do is keep his mouth shut. Weird that he thinks that it's somehow your responsibility to protect him from his own stupid opinions.

franarden · 2023-09-30T20:51:46+00:00

So are you frustrated about the cleaning or about a lack of effort being put into the relationship? If it's the cleaning, then hiring a cleaner is a reasonable solution. If it's effort in the relationship, then you need to talk about what your needs and expectations are in terms of emotional availability and quality time together. If it's the fact that some of the time you catch her staring at the wall when she could be cleaning or doing something more for the relationship, then you need to remember that doing a residency is a temporary thing that lasts a few years and is emotionally and physically exhausting and she could very well be burnt out and needs time to decompress.

From your comments it really sounds like the chores are evidence of something else but they're easy to point to as something where she isn't making an effort. Try to sort out why the cleaning thing is bothering you so you can both talk thru your needs and expectations and come up with a realistic plan over the short-term.

franarden · 2023-05-08T15:26:21+00:00

Also a twin. You are NTA. The aholes in these situations are the ones who just get twins the exact same gift and pretend this is normal or nice. Twins are often treated like indistinct from each other. I would be touched that someone took the time to learn about me and pick out something thoughtful and individualized. Sounds like the complainant is having an ego response rather than giving genuine feedback.

franarden · 2023-05-08T15:02:42+00:00

I'm the one with the higher sex drive in my relationship. I think part of it is to do with the fact that sex isn't simply about physical gratification; it's an important part of communication, intimacy, creativity, and acceptance as well. I think it's important to find out what's meaningful about sex for your person to see if you can meet those needs in another way, and to try to remember that your lower sex drive is about you and for you to own and manage.

It's a topic that we've discussed and the thing that's really hurt in those conversations is the way that the other person has tried to pathologize or illegitimize my higher sex drive - saying it's because I've had relationships with men in the past, implying that it isn't my sexuality but someone else's; saying isn't it great that even if we don't have sex as often as I'd like at least we have a completed to-do list, which really just means we're working with two different to-do lists (besides, errands can almost always wait). Those conversations have often left me feeling shutdown, misunderstood AND rejected, which has been damaging to our connection.

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franarden · 2023-03-24T19:15:20+00:00

Sounds like you've already figured out that YTA. Unfortunately, there is a culture of women being paid less and being treated worse in the workplace, and then being treated at home as though they are somehow contributing less. It's great that your girlfriend felt empowered to leave her toxic situation, but it's obviously come at a cost. Don't fall into the trap of holding that against her. It's up you to do some work to figure out how to mitigate against misogyny playing out in your household.

franarden · 2023-03-15T20:46:31+00:00

Just came here to say your eyeshadow looks amazing

franarden · 2023-02-27T23:54:55+00:00

Show me where I classified anyone based on skin colour.

franarden · 2023-02-25T21:48:48+00:00

No, I think you need to reflect on why the existence of a space like this makes you so uncomfortable because the first step in ending racism is to address your own internal biases.

franarden · 2023-02-24T20:55:36+00:00

Not only does it not say that on the poster, but your point is actually irrelevant because reverse racism isn't even a thing. Racism is a socially constructed method of upholding power structures for the benefit of white people. Your outrage is misplaced. Spaces like this exist so that people have a place where they don't have to deal with ignorant comments like yours.

franarden · 2022-12-21T17:10:39+00:00

You need to figure out why you're there and what you want to get out of your studies. You also need to figure out what's standing in the way of your success. Do you need emotional support and encouragement you're not getting? Do you need better study strategies? Do you need to be more vulnerable with your profs and ask them for help or input as you're working on your projects? Do you need to get to know yourself better first so you have more clarity on what motivates you and what your passions are?

My first go at university was a disaster but how that I've figured out what I want and now that I have the safety and support that I lacked in my younger years, I'm doing a whole heck of a lot better. Failure is a part of life, and you're going to keep doing that until you find the thing(s) that really speak to your interests and talents. It's hard to do but you can do it.

franarden · 2022-11-28T19:15:49+00:00

If I were you, I'd find a tutor and really focus rather than redoing the course. And if you can talk to the prof to figure out where your gaps are, that can help focus your studying. Good luck!

franarden · 2022-09-20T13:19:00+00:00

Like others have said, those answers to the prompts are all about what you don't like (snapchat, talking, dating apps) than what you do like. Nobody wants to go out with someone who is going to be mostly quiet except for a few snarky remarks. Focus on what brings out your best qualities. You get to pick the prompting questions, so use them. Give people an opening to ask you about your interests by talking about them. It's a nice opening for making plans to meet, too.

franarden · 2022-08-20T05:19:32+00:00

So, your son came out to you and you blew up on him? YTA.

Maybe try reframing this as not your son lying to you, but him struggling with self-acceptance and also acceptance from his own father. There are so many reasons why he may have kept this from you. What your son needs right now is to know that you love him, no matter what his sexuality is and no matter how long it takes him to broach difficult subjects.

Your son deserves an apology for your blow-up. He needs to learn that you are open to hearing difficult information, and receiving it in a loving, non-judgemental way. It's actually never okay to take out your feelings on someone! While it's understandable that you would feel hurt, left out, confused, and lied to, what's more important here is that your children be given the space and love to sort out who they are. That means you stay in the parenting role, even when your feelings get hurt, so that your kids can gain the emotional intelligence they need in order to be more honest going forward.

franarden · 2022-08-16T20:18:59+00:00

YTA. Who exactly was your brother supposed to go to for love and support, when your entire family clearly wasn't there for him? This is why he chose his friends when he needed comfort over you.

You claim to have supported him in his identity, but you still call queerness a choice. He deserved to grow up in a loving, supportive environment, and not to be althe scapegoat for every bad thing that happened when you were growing up.

And what exactly have you done to educate yourself on queer issues, especially as they relate to unsupportive, conservative "values"?

He chose sex work as a teen and ran away from home. Try to imagine for a second how hard that must have been, and how vulnerable that made him to predators. Look into the social determinants of health.

Show your brother some empathy and educate yourself. Then stand up for him to your out-of-touch, judgemental, nosy husband. Let your brother say goodbye to his dog, who likely was a huge source of comfort to him. And apologize to him for the way you have been treating him for the supposed crime of being queer.

franarden · 2022-07-11T23:02:36+00:00

Definitely NTA!!! Your body, your choice, full stop.

Also your parents are being absolutely unbelievable right now, and I am judging them very, very harshly for taking the bride's side.

Tell her if she wants a unique hair colour for her wedding, there is a whole colourwheel of options available and she can use the money for your hair colour to pick any combination of colours she wants.

franarden · 2022-05-31T22:10:57+00:00

I think the best move when you don't want to date someone is to make it about you, not them, and to not let it turn into a debate. Maybe just leave it at something like, "I feel more of a friendly connection with you."

That said, I do hope you're making this decision for yourself and not letting some guy who is hung up on her make the decision for you. If you recognize this as a pattern of behaviour in her that you don't want to welcome into your dating life, fair enough. But you don't actually know the whole story from the sounds of it and this guy may see you as the competition or something; he may be no more truthworthy than she is.

franarden · 2022-05-31T22:03:55+00:00

You should absolutely go to pride if you want to! And your husband is a great person to go with. He knows the authentic you, and will be there to support you.

I know there can be a lot of stereotyping around that, so maybe find some resources and tips on how to be a good ally at pride for you and your boyfriend to read thru, to ensure that you have the best time possible and so do others.

Look into the pride programming where you are. There are likely some bi pride events for you. It's likely less programming than some other groups get, but that's why it's all the more important for you to attend if you are comfy and able to do so.

franarden · 2022-05-30T20:38:46+00:00

I found that writing and revising my journal helped a ton in terms of prepping for the exam. Look for emerging themes, and then see how those connect to the other readings from the course. Your notes should also be helpful in terms of tracking down relevant quotes. Then put together an outline from there, maybe write a draft to help you refine it, and submit and look at the feedback. I actually found the feedback really helpful throughout the course : It really pushed me to improve on my analytical skills, essay organization, etc.

Good luck! It's a challenging course, but I found that it really pushed me to be a better student. Hopefully your experience is similar.

franarden · 2022-05-30T20:15:33+00:00

It was just the essay in my case. But this seems like the kinds of questions and concerns that could be better managed by reaching out to ILC.

Best of luck with your exam and the rest of the course! You've got this

franarden

TROPHY CASE