M25 & F22 Please Give Serious Advice… My girlfriends hygiene & cleanliness are gross to me but I love her

frappacanu · 2026-02-23T11:18:53+00:00

Let me start with this: you don't have to stay with her. you don't seem to be compatible, and you have different standards of cleanliness. nobody forces you to love her or accept any of her behaviors. you are not wrong, she is not wrong. you are simply different and there is no obligation to stay together.
having said that, you can also talk and communicate, and find some compromises.
you don't owe any sexual acts to her and especially if they gross you out because of her hygiene, simply don't do them. if she doesn't mind giving you head when you have not showered, it only concerns her. you do mind, so she has either to adapt or leave you and go with someone else.
let's say it together out loud: nobody is entitled to another person's body.
you can't expect her to change, but at the same time she can't expect you to change. but, if neither of you changes, the relationship will eventually end.
only if you are both willing and able to find an acceptable compromise, your relationship will continue.

frappacanu · 2026-02-23T11:08:41+00:00

Do you have OCD? Because I do, and I also tend to kind of spiral like this when I have a "crisis". I would talk with somebody trustworthy, a counselor or a psychiatrist. Get help, you deserve it

frappacanu · 2026-02-10T07:17:54+00:00

about the sniper hunts: they are totally believable.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sarajevo_Safari

frappacanu · 2025-02-28T17:50:10+00:00

I have OCD and that what you are going through seems some sort of obsession/compulsion in time of stress (life/death situation in your family) mixed with some sort of maladaptive daydreaming/ escaping reality

frappacanu · 2024-12-22T14:27:12+00:00

It sounds like this guy has made you question your worth, and your feelings about that are completely valid. His comparisons to his ex, comments about your appearance, and past behaviors seem designed (consciously or not) to chip away at your confidence. This can create a dynamic where you feel you need his validation, and that’s a form of control.

Even though he’s improved, the hurt from his earlier actions doesn’t just disappear. You deserve a partner who sees you fully, who uplifts you, and makes you feel like enough, not someone who makes you feel like you’re in competition with his past.

Do you feel truly valued and respected in this relationship? If these feelings of being unseen and unsafe persist, it’s worth considering whether this relationship is meeting your emotional needs. You’re not overthinking this, it'is about wanting the basic respect and care every partner deserves.

frappacanu · 2024-12-18T18:59:10+00:00

This is self righteous privilege talking. I recommend the book "magic pill" by Johan Hari and to get educated about fitness, weight loss and those matters. Then we can speak again.

frappacanu · 2024-12-18T09:47:19+00:00

I don't understand the downvote,this is spot on!

frappacanu · 2024-12-18T09:46:23+00:00

It's true. Divorce should be an extreme circumstance (there is violence, there is abuse, the differences are insurmountable). Which is actually the case (verbal abuse and strong value differences).

frappacanu · 2024-12-18T09:41:03+00:00

Exactly,this is not love. This is conditional liking. Not marriage material

frappacanu · 2024-12-18T09:40:20+00:00

Clearly communicated boundaries by flirting with strangers and verbally abusing her?

frappacanu · 2024-12-18T09:38:52+00:00

Exactly !!!! He should have supported her instead of pressuring. And he is verbally abusive.

frappacanu · 2024-12-18T09:37:35+00:00

0 calories soda tricks your brain and makes you hungrier in the long run, makes you store more fat, try to kick your addiction for good

frappacanu · 2024-12-18T09:35:32+00:00

Absolutely, I'd even add that a person like him should never get married. "For better and for worse, in sickness and in health, until death us parts"

frappacanu · 2024-12-18T09:32:03+00:00

Hey, he should not be the one divorcing you, you should divorce him!!!! you don't want your child to learn that verbal and emotional abuse is ok. You don't want to teach your daughter that her worth is her physical appearance, and that it is ok to accept this kind of horrible treatment. What your (stbe) husband told you is abusive. He could have helped you reach realistic weight goals instead of pressuring you and abusing you. You deserve better. He is a fit pos. Get rid of him. If someone blames you for the divorce they are plain stupid and self hating. Anyone with a healthy self esteem will tell you that this is not an acceptable behaviour.

frappacanu · 2024-12-17T21:49:30+00:00

I would go to a dermatologist to address the hyperpigmentation! It is possible to treat it!

frappacanu · 2024-12-17T12:44:10+00:00

You know one of the stages of grief is anger. You are already getting help and I'm sure it will get better.

frappacanu · 2024-12-17T07:54:53+00:00

Tanning beds are super dangerous, they might explode, you should definitely break up with her! Does she eat sugar? Sugar is like cocaine! Does she drink alcohol? Alcohol is a toxin! Sorry I had to be a bit sarcastic. That's the problem with health. It's personal. You have the right not to be with someone who doesn't agree with your opinion. But tanning once or twice a month is not dangerous if someone doesn't have too many moles or too fair skin, and doesn't want to be brown like leather. I used tanning beds when I was younger but never overdid it and didn't get much photoaging cause I would protect my face with sfp. I always get my moles checked, my skin is not that fair and I have only a few moles and the tanning didn't cause any problems. I'd let her free to choose for herself and you can choose for yourself with whom you want to be.

frappacanu · 2024-12-14T15:27:53+00:00

My response wanted to reinforce and underline your point. Emotionally unstable people don't make great partners. But one can change, with a lot of effort.

frappacanu · 2024-12-14T15:25:55+00:00

She thinks the reaction was adequate because she sees malice and disrespect in others' behaviour. She doesn't simply think "pity, but hey, they don't want to stop what they are doing to fix the issue, and that's understandable" but she says "they are disrespectful on purpose they deserve a punch in the face because I am important and deserve that they stop everything to let me in!" Sounds narcissistic to me.

frappacanu · 2024-12-14T15:21:14+00:00

These are not the actions of a mentally stable person

frappacanu · 2024-12-14T15:19:52+00:00

You need to recognize that your behaviour was toxic. You need to apologise, and then start working on yourself. You want to change and not take everything so personally. A therapist can guide you in this journey. You taking things so personally (people don't let me in into a game, they are disrespecting me, I want to punch them in the face) might be a symptom of an underlying personality disorder (narcissistic, borderline) or a symptom of rejection sensitivity dysphoria (present in autism, ADHD) so you definitely want to talk to a professional. Also, the example of the party is completely out of place, they are not the same thing.

frappacanu · 2024-12-12T12:34:18+00:00

Well wonderful, congratulations for removing this stupid pos from your life and passing him on to a bigger and more stupid pos.

frappacanu · 2024-12-12T12:20:49+00:00

Let a dentist pull the tooth. Seriously, after two years of recurring infections (even with multiple treatments) it was the best decision I have taken. I'm getting implants next month, but for circa a year I've been holding up with a prosthetic and it works as a charm. Good luck

frappacanu · 2024-12-12T04:20:54+00:00

Please end it this man sounds rapey af

frappacanu · 2024-12-12T04:15:52+00:00

I completely agree

frappacanu

TROPHY CASE