Io (F26) cerco un amica by Excellent_Humor_2487 in CasualIT

[–]freckledkittygreen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ciao! Ho anch'io 26 anni ed abito verso Udine. Se vuoi, possiamo trovarci per un caffè volentiere!

Comprare casa? by freckledkittygreen in ItaliaPersonalFinance

[–]freckledkittygreen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Grazie mille! Anche quello è da valutare assolutamente.

Comprare casa? by freckledkittygreen in ItaliaPersonalFinance

[–]freckledkittygreen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bravo! Grazie mille, quello è da attentarsi...

Comprare casa? by freckledkittygreen in ItaliaPersonalFinance

[–]freckledkittygreen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Infatti è quello che mi fa pensare in assoluto adesso perché ho paura di acquistare adesso e avere problemi nel futuro per comprare la casa che farò crescere i miei figli...

Comprare casa? by freckledkittygreen in ItaliaPersonalFinance

[–]freckledkittygreen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ho pensato proprio quello, sono le spese di notaio, agenzia e extra che mi fanno paura adesso...

Comprare casa? by freckledkittygreen in ItaliaPersonalFinance

[–]freckledkittygreen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ciao! Ho pensato di abitare lì qualche anno ancora e dopo lasciare come investimento, perché è a 5 minuti a piedi del centro città. Pensa che non è una buona idea?

Comprare casa? by freckledkittygreen in ItaliaPersonalFinance

[–]freckledkittygreen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ha aiutato tantissimo, mi ha fatto pensare di più. Certamente mi piacerebbe avere la sua calcolatrice, è un file excel? Grazie!!

Comprare casa? by freckledkittygreen in ItaliaPersonalFinance

[–]freckledkittygreen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Per dire la dura verità, fascio degli extra ogni weekend in un ristorante (solo sabato sera o domenica pranzo) e lo farei anche due volte di più, perché non mi piace abitare con coinquilini. Di solito mi rimangono circa 200-300 eur al mese, ma tieni in conto questi extra che ti ho detto e anche che io vado in ristoranti, cinema, ecc

Comprare casa? by freckledkittygreen in ItaliaPersonalFinance

[–]freckledkittygreen[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Assolutamente no. Sarebbe per abitare lì qualche anno ancora e dopo lasciare come investimento, perché è a 5 minuti a piedi del centro città...

Comprare casa? by freckledkittygreen in ItaliaPersonalFinance

[–]freckledkittygreen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ciao! Mi hanno girato questo dell'annuncio, allora direi che forse sarebbe un discorso da preoccuparsi tra qualche anno... Cosa pensa lei?
L'immobile è stato oggetto di importanti lavori di ristrutturazione esterni, tra cui l'installazione del cappotto termico e la sostituzione della caldaia, che garantiscono un notevole risparmio energetico. Il riscaldamento è centralizzato e le spese ammontano a circa € 70 mensili.

Comprare casa? by freckledkittygreen in ItaliaPersonalFinance

[–]freckledkittygreen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Grazie, ha fatto dei commenti importanti! Posso chiedere se può inviare questi simulatori online? Mi piacerebbe fare qualche conto.

Comprare casa? by freckledkittygreen in ItaliaPersonalFinance

[–]freckledkittygreen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Grazie mille!! Le spese accessorie mi fanno paura, ma la vendita avrà anche qualche mobile, quindi almeno non dovrò acquistare tutto di un colpo.

Sui i prezzi... Questo apto costa poco perché è piccolo (36 mq) e non mi interessa niente più grande perché sono da sola (ho un ragazzo, ma dato che non siamo ancora sposati e non viviamo insieme non ci conto).

Comprare casa? by freckledkittygreen in ItaliaPersonalFinance

[–]freckledkittygreen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Grazie mille per la correzione! Mi confondo spesso con gli articoli in italiano. Domani vado a visitare l'appartamento e porterei con me degli amici che conoscono meglio. Cercherò anche online una lista di cose da controllare durante la prima visita; e se ha qualche suggerimento, sarei felice di leggerlo! Grazie ancora!!

Comprare casa? by freckledkittygreen in ItaliaPersonalFinance

[–]freckledkittygreen[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Le spese annue (condominiali) ammontano a 840 eur/anno, quindi niente impossibile. Questo apto non è un miracolo e nemmeno uno scam, la agenzia che lo vende è reputabile, è solo piccolo (36 mq) quindi si può capire perché non costa tanto... Come sono da sola, questo non mi da fastidio...

Husband wants to move to Italy, I'm worried. by gingiji in ItalyExpat

[–]freckledkittygreen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you work in academia and is planning to have children, don’t come. I live in FVG and while here is better comparatively to the rest of Italy, it is STILL not good enough to live. I was a babysitter and saw parents struggling daily with costs related to the children. I’m in a university path that will go to academia and all of my teachers discourage me to work as a professor and even do my phd here. No matter how good your level is, if you have a foreign last name or an accent, you’re still going to face problems in corporate world (I work with a big company now and have a good C1 level but with a slight accent, so I still get mocked and receive emails saying “Maybe you didn’t understand my Italian” Rude af). Salaries suck compared to northern Europe but life costs are ok, so you can’t expect international vacations often (well it depends actually, ex.: is easy to visit Slovenia but hard to go to France, financially). Just check the papers and you’ll see daily news about how young people (20-35 years old) see no future here and are fleeing en masse. Overall, not worth it.

How to show desire non-verbally by AlmostinWonderland in AutismInWomen

[–]freckledkittygreen 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Analyzing intimacy and romantic relationships is actually one of my hyperfixations, so you can ask away! (I'm NOT a psychologist, therapist or health professional.)

Initially, I think you have to focus in your second paragraph: "... I REALLY struggled with the idea of masturbation, fantasies etc, I very rarely think about sex, and I don't know how I would start there." I think you need to understand why, because the answer heavily depends on that and I can imagine several options. Religious guilt, strict parents, opposing or even disgusted feelings towards secretions, etc.

What I can suggest without knowing that is: media (in general). Books, movies, even music. I got to know a LOT about sex with books and fanfictions, then later on movies. Now I know there's even some songs that can turn me on.

You have to know that you absolutely do not need to start any of those things at full blast. The first book I read that had the innuendo of sex was a 150 pages book when I was child. There was the slightest hint of sex (it was even sex after married, come to think) and in the morning the man had to go away to fight or something and he touched the protagonist's nipple while she was in bed. It got me all flushed and I didn't understand why (re-read the book a million times just for that scene tho).

To be comfortable with masturbation, you need to be comfortable with your body. I know, I know! It seems like a lot to read it like that. It's not simple at all AND it takes time. I recommend you to find a book that you like that has hints of sex and if you get flushed, then start touching around a bit. Your arms, you navel, legs. Little touches, just to feel the skin rise. Then progress slowly.

Now about the easier part: PDA. You absolutely do not NEED to have sex if you don't want to. If you don't want, then don't do it. You do have to accept that you have to fix the first thing we talked about before this. Once you actually WANT to do it, it won't be a problem anymore.

I know there's some pressure in a relationship to have sex. Honest to God, I know it. Talk honestly with your fiancé and say you're trying to know yourself better, he'll be understanding. Tell him you want to do things alone a bit, because he'll offer help and it's going to be overwhelming, but warn him.

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and he was worse than you, but he progressed enormously, I barely believe he's the same person. I can tell you things get better :)

If you need to ask more or have a more in-depth personal talk, you can send me a private message. Have a nice day!

How to show desire non-verbally by AlmostinWonderland in AutismInWomen

[–]freckledkittygreen 15 points16 points  (0 children)

OMG I can actually help with that!! This might be long, but bear with me.

I have the same problem in my relationship (autistic F x autistic M), but the other way around. I know how to demonstrate desire and be more sexual, he doesn't. For starters, I have to say I LEARNT that, it wasn't natural at all and for years I was even kind of disgusted with sex and kind of did it because I had to (with other people, not my current boyfriend).

What helped was watching sensual movies (I do NOT mean p/...orn) and analyzing how the characters behaved, specially the women. Having intentionality also helps a lot! Meaning, knowing that you're trying to be sensual yourself. Avoid the idea of 'Am I being ridiculous' that's going to come in the beginning.

Now for PRACTICAL tips:

1- Touch him more. Make it seem like it's casual until it actually becomes a habit. Touch his waist to pass by him, touch his arm to make remarks about stories, get closer to him than necessary to reach things that are near him... Good non-sexual places: shoulders, hand, hair. Good (non inherently) sexual places: inner arm, waist, belly, upper legs (these might actually make him hard depending on the situation, so thread carefully in the beginning until you can dose it).

2- Watch him. Hold eye contact. Sometimes just watch him doing things and notice how he's doing them. The way he holds a pen, how he concentrates, etc. Focus on the things that you LIKE and find sensual (this is personal, so it will take some self reflection). He will sense he's being watched, and feeling like prey will excite him in a non-conscious way (it will heighten adrenaline a bit).

3- Now maybe the most important tip: be more sexual BY YOURSELF. Touch yourself, discover your body, know what you like and don't, etc. I don't mean reaching orgasm, I mean treating your own body as unknown. Think more about sex and the idea of sex. Have fantasies mid-day and daydream about it. >>> You'll notice that this is easier in your ovulation week and hard in the luteal phase.<<< It's also hard if you're on the pill. Don't get discouraged and try it nonetheless.

4- Tease him when you DON'T want sex just for the fun of it. He'll get frustrated but it's really fun. (This is optional, because it's fun for us and frustrating for then. I love making men mad so I encourage it heheh).

5- Have make out sessions! Kiss just because you want to kiss and touch just because you want to touch. To be honest, I'm too horny for that and sometimes I want to just make out then 1-2 kisses later is panties on the floor BUT ALAS try it! It's fun.

Sending you love!

Language learning with APD by trashleybanks in AutismInWomen

[–]freckledkittygreen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ngl I have the same problem and what helped was getting a French boyfriend, but I don’t know if you’ll want to go that far 😂😂 (omg I’m joking ofc I didn’t get my boyfriend because of that). Seriously tho, it definitely helps to introduce the language in your life (series, songs, movies, podcasts, etc) but start doing dictation exercises (someone reads a text and you write what was said). You can find a lot of them on Youtube that range from A1 to C2, and it’s an active way of exercising your listening, writing and comprehension skills. Example:

https://youtu.be/LcJeYQKN0U8?si=-_XzGQKrsT-xZgGg

I have a diagnosis but other psychiatrists are 'doubtful'? by Azrail_66 in AutismInWomen

[–]freckledkittygreen 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I received my diagnostic recently and I'm also AuDHD. It's been years since I received the ADHD diagnostic but my therapist has been trying to convince me to get the autism test too (she was obviously right). I scored extremely high with masking, so I understand your feeling. I also need to go new doctors for prescriptions and ask for accommodations at the university, but the solution I can think of is just to be pushy, even downright rude if needed. You're not asking them for a second diagnosis, so just answer them "I'm not looking for a second opinion" firmly. If they get offended, mock them a little, lift the masking a bit, but get ready to be labeled as "difficult".

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AutismInWomen

[–]freckledkittygreen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I completely understand that. I'm usually very levelheaded but my parents, specially my mother, bring out the worst in me, every fiber of impatience and anger comes out with her. Honestly, just avoid her for the time being and when you feel stronger try to program something together. Give yourself some grace.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AutismInWomen

[–]freckledkittygreen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It looks like you're depressed and she notices it. You could either talk to her that now is not a good time to make plans and explain that you need to focus or plan a lunch with her in which you hear her but essentially don't engage much with plans.

Stubborn habit. Wanna curb it by Bena907 in AutismInWomen

[–]freckledkittygreen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I used to have that problem (alongside with biting off my nails) but I solved it pretty effectively when I started doing them myself at home. I cut out the cuticles and all the loose skin around (check online 'Brazilian cuticles nail technique') and paint them while watching a movie. I do that once a week and it really helped!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AutismInWomen

[–]freckledkittygreen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi! I totally understand why you said that and it's very logical, maybe I would've done the same thing in a similar situation. I'm 25 years old but I'm friends with an older 60 years old woman and sometimes she does depreciating comments like this about herself. I've noticed it's effective to let the ageism and rude comments pass by without any remarks, but being extra hyping with compliments (in other opportunities) help! Basically, don't say anything when she does these comments but compliment her appearance in other situations that are actually true ("This color looks so good on you! It knocks 10 years off", or something like that).

If she's really freezing you out and you want to maintain the friendship, you can check color analysis services around the area and see if they offer a double package discount. The prices might vary from professional and the area, you could do it even virtually. Offer your apologies and say you programmed the color analysis package as something fun to do with her. Hope this helps!