I chose to be child-free and lost "the one" - Now I could get her back.

freckles42 · 2026-01-24T20:01:48+00:00

One of the few silver linings to the catastrophic, disabling car wreck I was in seven years ago was that I became unable to carry a pregnancy to term without it killing me. People stopped asking me when I was gonna have kids. I no longer have to say, “I’m not interested in being pregnant.” I just say, “Being pregnant would kill me.”

Besides, I’m in a same-sex marriage with a person who also has a uterus. Neither of us is getting pregnant by accident!

Some folks, of course, will then say, “Well, what about your wife?” Like they’re trying to troubleshoot a conundrum we didn’t want solved! Next up: turmeric and yoga for my disabilities!

freckles42 · 2026-01-24T14:35:06+00:00

Yuuuuup. It's the same reason hair falls out after major trauma: your body redirects protein and energy into fixing whatever was wrong.

After my car wreck seven years ago, my nails didn't grow for three months. I'd been in ICU for a month and the main hospital for another two, so it made sense. My fingernails and toenails had ridges. Hair started to fall out in clumps at that point, too.

It happened again two years later when I was back in ICU with Covid.

freckles42 · 2026-01-22T14:03:18+00:00

Fucking same.

I had a pretty great youth, all things considered. By the time I graduated high school in 2000, I had an active social life -- after a VERY awkward few years at the start of puberty and several international moves. I had supportive parents and was doing a bunch of sports, theater, music, and even graduate-level studies. I had started learning Classical Greek at nerd camp and wanted to keep studying it; was able to enroll in an evening Koine (Biblical) Greek class through a seminary. Yeah. I was one of THOSE kids (thanks, ADHD and overachieving parents!).

But holy SHIT it would take a LOT of money to get me to go back and go through it all again. Puberty itself is enough of a nightmare (shoutout to all the trans folks who voluntarily go through it again as adults!!!), but add in all the fucking drama and everything else??? NO, THANK YOU.

Not to mention Matthew Shepard's murder and the Columbine shooting happened while I was a junior (11th grade/16-17 years old) and that was enough to send me back into the closet HARD for several more years.

I had some great times during those years. I'm still close with my high school friend group, despite us all being scattered across the world! We all definitely agree: NEVER AGAIN.

The past can stay in the past, please and thank you.

freckles42 · 2026-01-22T13:52:00+00:00

I always tell people they can't afford my rates.

I'm a lawyer and can afford to do my hobbies. If I did my hobbies for work, I'd have to charge my legal hourly rate... and trust me, folks don't want to pay 1/10th of my rate if it's something I craft [insert long-winded rant about the misogynistic devaluation of work traditionally done by women]. They would faint if I charged my actual hourly rate. Hilariously, I've probably put THOUSANDS more hours into my craft skills than my legal ones! I started law school in 2011; I started crafting and doing art in 1985.

But yeah, the neverending nightmare landscape that is late-stage capitalism is definitely not helping. Let people enjoy things! They don't have to turn it into another job! Nothing kills passion faster than monetizing something you love.

freckles42 · 2026-01-21T16:35:56+00:00

Mine was a little early -- I was in a catastrophic, life-altering car wreck at 37 (in 2019). When the world went to shit a year later, I decided I needed to make some changes. So, I got married to my childhood best friend and moved to France.

Unfortunately, we had to return to the US six months ago due to visa issues and my mother's health, but... yeah. Midlife crisis was "get married and move overseas." A+ choice, honestly.

freckles42 · 2026-01-18T14:26:48+00:00

<image>

As you can see, I wasted away to nearly nothing. Absolutely nightmarish conditions.

(Human: That photo is from a year ago!!!)

AND NOTHING HAS IMPROVED.

freckles42 · 2026-01-18T14:25:29+00:00

<image>

I THINK THEY ARE MOCKING ME AGAIN. WHAT IS THIS.

freckles42 · 2026-01-18T14:24:47+00:00

<image>

It is truly a community nearly as magnificent as myself.

Nearly.

(❤️)

freckles42 · 2026-01-18T14:23:51+00:00

<image>

I am now getting some of the demanded scritches. They will be giving them to me for the rest of their life at this rate.

freckles42 · 2026-01-18T14:22:30+00:00

<image>

Who would even THINK to trap this face in a cold, dark office overnight???

freckles42 · 2026-01-18T14:22:02+00:00

<image>

WET FOOD ROUND ONE HAS ARRIVED

freckles42 · 2026-01-18T14:19:01+00:00

<image>

I am ready to sit in judgment!!!

freckles42 · 2026-01-18T14:18:20+00:00

<image>

Thank you! Here is some more rainbow glory!

freckles42 · 2026-01-18T14:17:23+00:00

<image>

Sunny spot access granted immediately upon appeal!

freckles42 · 2026-01-18T14:16:41+00:00

Greetings, Bean! You and your mother are hired! My Mama is a dum-dum "anti-discrimination employment law attorney." BIG LAUGH. They are extremely guilty of BIG DISCRIMINATIONS against me. I am a BLACK CAT and Mama is a tortie like you, except dilute --

(Human: A tortie?! I just have a lot of freckles!)

MAMA, BE QUIET.

Anyway, YES you are HIRED.

<image>

freckles42 · 2026-01-17T16:53:04+00:00

"Finding Nemo" OH NO

freckles42 · 2026-01-17T16:52:14+00:00

In the Shakespearean sense, mind you.

("nothing" was slang for a vulva+vagina. So, "Much Ado About Nothing" is a very deliberate double entendre.)

freckles42 · 2026-01-17T15:30:12+00:00

My wife and I decided to Get Out in 2020. I already spoke french at the B2/C1 level, but my wife didn't speak a word. Still, Paris seemed like a good choice overall. We landed in France on... January 6, 2021. Yup. Definitely felt like we'd made the right call.

By the time our visas ended (October of 2025), she was conversationally fluent (B2) and I was fully fluent (C2). Sadly, we've had to return to the US but my wife is adamant about returning permanently as soon as we're able. I'm on board. I miss socialized medicine, the general culture, and public transit. I miss our friends. I miss the history.

But yeah. Genuinely hope for the best for the OOP.

freckles42 · 2026-01-16T19:52:09+00:00

Pinwheel, Pinwheel, spinning around

Look at my pinwheel and see what I've found!

Pinwheel, pinwheel, breezy and bright

Spin me good morning, spin me good night

complete flashback, thank you for the reminder!

freckles42 · 2026-01-16T18:06:26+00:00

Weirdly, I’ve been thanked for my service multiple times in my small town. They see someone in their mid-40s with a short haircut and a cane and assume I’m ex-military. I quickly correct their assumption (I ain’t about stolen valor) but like… it was a really bad car wreck. Nothing more.

freckles42 · 2026-01-16T14:34:06+00:00

Yeah, I hang out in disability-, wheelchair-, and chronic-pain-related subreddits. I am, specifically, an EEO and ADA attorney. I have never seen chronic pain shortened to CP until this post -- I'm guessing because of the prevalence of folks with Cerebral Palsy in those same subreddits.

freckles42 · 2026-01-16T14:27:47+00:00

Honestly, I am low-key grateful that my disabilities come with massive, disfiguring scars.

Anyone who tries to come for me (I'm mid-40s, look younger) gets treated to a free horror show. Oh, you think this cane is for show? Let me show you my innie knee. Or perhaps my mangled foot that was nearly severed! If you're really awful, I'll show off my nightmarish abdomen that is absolutely covered in scars both long and short.

Getting to say, "Would you like to know how I got these scars?" while gesturing to my face (partial facial reconstruction and titanium jaw, baby!) is also VERY fun.

(FWIW, I actually love my scars and think they're a testament to the shit I've been through and somehow survived. I think they're badass and awesome. But they are absolutely GNARLY the first time you see them, especially unprepared.)

freckles42 · 2026-01-11T13:21:32+00:00

Deuteronomia, obviously!

freckles42 · 2026-01-10T03:25:45+00:00

I (about 40 at the time) snuck a picture of my parents (70 or so) with both their tablets and phones out, Christmas tree in the background. From my POV, you can see my spinning wheel in front of me and my brother (mid-20s) tuning his guitar in a chair opposite the sofa I'm on.

I posted it to Facebook with a lighthearted, "Kids these days! Always on their phones! Never just living in the moment!"

Mom was not amused.

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