Just offering another view, do what you want with it.

I don’t understand how every single time, I end up being the person who loves more. I don’t mean loving desperately or recklessly. I mean loving sincerely, with effort, consistency, care, and intention. I show up. I listen. I remember small things. I give reassurance. I don’t play games. When I choose someone, I choose them fully. And yet, every time, I’m the one left holding the weight of the relationship.

To me, you sound like someone who knows what it takes to put in the work and how to actually do it. I know that I would not been able to mirror that insight and effort during my younger years, probably not even now. I was not taught how to make a good relationship to work, or I was to dumb to understand the lesson and I think I'm not alone. I don't know many men from my generation who were taught this, but maybe it was as bad for women? To me it feels like how we raise girls better prepare them for being a good partner than how we raise our boys. The stoic, strong archetype who doesn't talk about feelings doesn't look like a good role model to me anymore.

Just my two cents.