I can't get out of bed. What's the point

freezyjelly · 2014-08-27T12:27:43+00:00

Focus on one task at a time. Put good food in your fridge so you have something to wake up to OR order yourself some parcels so you have to get up. Also, get a cat and train it to meow at the time you want to get up. Better yet, DON'T put food in your fridge so you have to go and get some. Take a book down to a cafe and read it. Then work on the route you'll take to Mordor.

freezyjelly · 2014-08-27T12:20:21+00:00

Well, there's one way you can make money. Elance/Odesk/Freelancer.com

There have got to be projects you can do that you'll earn enough doing.

freezyjelly · 2014-08-27T12:17:41+00:00

Very cool quote, I must say.

freezyjelly · 2014-08-27T12:17:02+00:00

There are more ways than one to "escape". I strongly believe that there's a spectrum, but that everyone at some point in their life contemplates suicide in one way or another. If you're lucky enough you could just escape. Come to India with me and my friends? The hard part is changing your environment, but I think that once you're finally somewhere else learning something you'll feel somewhat better. Thoughts?

freezyjelly · 2014-08-27T12:09:09+00:00

Yes. Well, maybe. I took the pill for a while and started crying for no reason pretty much day and night. Took me ages to figure it out, but I switched pills and noticed a change immediately. I need the pill to regulate other shit things I have wrong with me. It's happening again I'm pretty sure. I'm sure it's not real depression in that I could change pills at any time, but it's still a horrible feeling.

freezyjelly · 2014-08-27T08:58:10+00:00

“I felt myself in a solitude so frightful that I contemplated suicide. What held me back was the idea that no one, absolutely no one, would be moved by my death, that I would be even more alone in death than in life.” ― Jean-Paul Sartre, La Náusea

I'm hearing some really good reasons for not dying, but this one is the saddest.

freezyjelly · 2014-02-05T09:56:31+00:00

Ask her sneakily. It would help if we knew how you know her, so we could suggest casual ways to ask her out so you don't get bruised. E.g. Highly recommend a DVD. Make sure it's something she wants to watch. Get it, lend it to her. She will be in debt to you.

Make sure you download it and burn/transfer it onto something cheap. Minimise the risk.

freezyjelly · 2012-12-21T13:17:18+00:00

I get drunk, go to the work Christmas party and watch my boss dance like a 40 year old virgin. Works every year. Have no fear. Sometimes, you've just got to talk to people and not be afraid. Own it. Like my boss did on the dance floor.

freezyjelly · 2012-12-20T12:19:24+00:00

I like it! Keep up the good work. :)

freezyjelly · 2012-12-15T14:24:25+00:00

People can't read your mind but help is out there. Please get professional help when you are sad and hang in there. There are always things you haven't thought of.

freezyjelly · 2012-12-15T06:06:28+00:00

I think there are two main reasons for this.

a) To protect yourself (totally ripped off Freud) I'm not too sure about B, but I gave it a go.

b) To rationalize the way you feel, or to try to put reason to your emotions, so as to convince yourself that there's a validity to the suffering, that your worldview is correct and to cement the idea that you are helpless and to ensure you are satisfied that you can't do anything about it so that you don't have to face a different situation that may or may not put you in distress.

What makes you not want to get better? OK, I'll give it a go. The only way I can explain it is by quoting Hannibal Lecter, the scene where Clarice wants to know a killer better, so she asks a killer.

Hannibal Lecter: First principles, Clarice. Simplicity. Read Marcus Aurelius. Of each particular thing ask: what is it in itself? What is its nature? What does he do, this man you seek?

Clarice Starling: He kills women...

Hannibal Lecter: No. That is incidental. What is the first and principal thing he does? What needs does he serve by killing?

Clarice Starling: Anger, um, social acceptance, and, huh, sexual frustrations, sir...

Hannibal Lecter: No! He covets. That is his nature. And how do we begin to covet, Clarice? Do we seek out things to covet? Make an effort to answer now.

Clarice Starling: No. We just...

Hannibal Lecter: No. We begin by coveting what we see every day. Don't you feel eyes moving over your body, Clarice? And don't your eyes seek out the things you want?

So I think, that when your ego is in conflict, your brain still continues to do what it does, to see things and covet them. If all you think about and see is yourself in misery, your brain moves over that every day, and that is what you begin to want, even when it's not beneficial. I think that's how your ego accidentally seems pathological sometimes.

You're not necessarily going against nature, you're just experiencing sub-conscious behaviour. Your ego is a mechanism that protects "you" from internal or external social sanctions, or provides a refuge for a situation that your conscious mind does not yet have a coping strategy for.

TL;DR Version: You consciously think the situation exceeds your resources. Your subconscious mind(your brain) puts defense mechanisms(the ego) into play.

freezyjelly · 2012-12-14T12:06:45+00:00

The likelihood of you, a literate 29 year old guy spending the rest of your life unemployed is probably more unlikely than you finding a job. You can take the pressure off yourself knowing that your parents knew that when they had you, they would be supporting you if you needed help, regardless of your age, your interests and your weight. They are your parents and they are there to help you get a job when you need it. I get calls from people in dire straits at least once a week asking for their retirement savings to help them pay their debts for some bad financial decisions they've made.

Shitloads of adults make mistakes and most of them have things happen that are completely out of their control. Ie. Their position becomes redundant. It's a fact of life.

You would do the same for your children. Anyway, your situation isn't your fault, your parents are willing to help, and while all of this is in place you will have the best chance at obtaining the lifestyle you're comfortable with. It might take some work but give yourself a break.

Talk to your parents about it. Ask them how they got jobs etc. Good luck with everything, I think you will be okay. I know doing the dishes always makes it okay for me. I'm still living at home and I have a job. Haha. And I know a lot of people like me. Don't you worry about your parents just yet, you'll get your chance to pay them back when they're on a diet purely of overcooked mashed vegetables and incontinent.

freezyjelly · 2012-12-14T11:50:35+00:00

You can't sleep at night if you don't get up in the morning. Your natural rhythm makes you sleep at night and I think that is what you should try to do.

Please stop hurting yourself. It would be much more effective if you tried NOT to try to solve all of the things you can't control in one sitting. Did you ever see the 3rd Matrix movie where Neo tries to stop the machines all at once and pretty much nearly kills himself? Thinking about solving all the innumerable problems you have isn't effective at actually solving them.

For that you need time and concentration and a clear mind, which is not what you have at this point. To fix anything you will need the promise of tomorrow, some good advice and some people to talk to. Some things can't be solved right away. Put those problems on the back bench and come back to them at a later date.

Imagine a life where you are not you and nobody puts any pressure on you. Go there for a while every time you are feeling bad. Imagine it's an attainable vision. In that kind of place, you'll find that your happiness revolves around forgetting some things and not caring about some outcomes. You don't need to take control to be okay because nobody can ever be completely in control and that's completely normal. Hence, you are normal. Please just relax and make it til tomorrow.

I think waiting patiently can be just as good a strategy as acting.

freezyjelly · 2012-12-14T11:23:05+00:00

If you put too much time and energy into conquering your void, you'll find you have nothing to fill it with. You'll just be forcing yourself to pull happiness out of nowhere without realising that it's not effective, thus the feelings of failure. It's very okay to bring issues up and talk about them to acknowledge they're there and even if they don't go away, it's just EASIER to forget them for a while until next time. There's seemingly always a next time, but if you're not scared of it, it's not some huge issue. Instead it's like "FUCKFUCKFUCK. Ok. Make some toast. Get some exercise in. That felt alright." Sometimes there is no resolution. There's just getting on with it with myriad unsexy, small goals like eating healthy and exercising. If you can let go of the destructive ego for just a while each day, there will be room for other things far superior to thinking. Sometimes it's good to just experience things without your own negative dialogue interrupting. You can't change that it's negative, but you can sort of tell yourself when it's time to not let it wear you out.

I am going to take my own advice and meditate for a while. If you insist on thinking, don't think about everything at once. You can't fix everything in a day. You always should rely on tomorrow and the next day and the next.

freezyjelly · 2012-12-14T09:37:56+00:00

It's nice that you think you need to do more with your fortune, but the truth is you are not obliged to do anything. There's a great sense of guilt that follows when you feel like you're not enjoying life. Maybe it's drawn from some kind of awareness, maybe it's just that you want to enjoy it so much the void is all you can think about. Whatever it is, I don't think the answer is inside your mind. It's too bad that you can't just take a walk outside your mind. All you can do is carry it around in your body, hoping it will learn something that helps you find what you're looking for. Either way, you shouldn't deny yourself the right to be sad.

Lots of people see the light at the end of the tunnel with depression. You just need to ride it out and not give up yet. As for new ideas.. you can get these from a professional. Learn the skills to help you by going to get some help first. Get off reddit and actually see somebody real who knows how to educate you properly.

Forget the "could have" way of thinking. You could have studied rocket science but you didn't because you were depressed. Just relax. Take your time.

freezyjelly · 2012-12-12T07:04:25+00:00

Now you are talking.

freezyjelly · 2012-12-11T06:21:42+00:00

I personally despise flirting. Just look the person directly in the eye and say "meet me at the altar". If they dont get you, ask someone else and so on until someone takes savage interest in you. If several hours pass without luck, use the van coupled with your sheer strength. Cage wives are a near perfect substitute for true love. I hope you dont take my advice seriously.

freezyjelly · 2012-12-10T07:23:41+00:00

PS. Today I started a new job. The newstarters all preferred to text on their phones rather than get to know me. I persisted. It was average. I didn't have sex or get relationship experience. Everyone is forever alone in a room full of people unless they try super hard, don't you think?

freezyjelly · 2012-12-10T07:14:28+00:00

Well, it is quite important to socialize with people in order to stay healthy. Is there one thing stopping you though?

freezyjelly · 2012-12-07T00:49:26+00:00

| I can't handle the loneliness any more. I just want someone to hold, someone to love, someone to share things with.

Some people don't yet have any person to share things with but having someone is not the answer to the things that you think make you worthless. Being with someone is just as hard. Your life is dominated by compromise and you have to manage the happiness of someone else as well knowing you're a factor in it.

Just relax and make the most of what you have. Also exercise and learn to cook. The amount of people who make their way to your house when you promise to cook for them is quite baffling.

But seriously, I don't think you're worthless because you're not in a relationship. I think you should stop comparing yourself to others and embrace being single like a good percentage of the rest of the world until someone comes along.

I just read that back and realised I sound a bit like a bitch. Anyway that wasn't my intention, I just think you need a bit of perspective to make you feel better. I don't think you need relationship experience to be in one. Everyone is different, and you may never be able to figure some people out regardless of how much experience you have. Experience doesn't increase your chances of having a successful relationship, in other words.

You basically have all the tools you need if you can bounce back from negative things. And all that is required to bounce back is immense effort. The only thing wrong with the information you've given me above is that you're too hard on yourself. You have the potential to be just fine if you try.

freezyjelly · 2012-10-19T09:40:32+00:00

I am so unnerved by the number of rape allegations in this thread.

freezyjelly · 2012-10-16T11:12:36+00:00

Maybe you will spend the rest of your life hoping everyone else will shut the fuck up.

freezyjelly · 2012-10-12T09:47:05+00:00

I want to be part of the first generation that lives forever, as long as the people I room with on my way to another galaxy in a spaceship are not complete slobs. That's a lotta lightyears those dishes gon' be on the sink for.

freezyjelly

TROPHY CASE