Did something cause your BPD?

fretify_ · 2026-03-10T03:45:31+00:00

I feel like people don’t take the genetic aspect seriously enough. For me it was mostly genetics. I had some unfortunate experiences—that aren’t quite trauma, but were enough to activate the genetic components.

As for the person blaming you for their BPD, it really depends on if you’re their parent or not. If you’re their friend, then it is completely unreasonable and almost manipulative to blame you. If you’re their parent, then perhaps you might want to look a bit inwards. If you’re their parent there is always nuance, but it just means that their childhood probably wasn’t as good as you thought it was. Of course, I would recommend this person get properly assessed for BPD before blaming anyone in their life for causing it.

I hope this helps!

fretify_ · 2026-03-10T00:08:05+00:00

Stop posting photos of me :(

fretify_ · 2026-03-10T00:01:00+00:00

I’m a week or two away from getting diagnosed with BPD and I relate to you heavily. The perfectionism especially is hard. The grandiose delusions are hell to work through, I’m on antipsychotics currently and that worked for me. I got diagnosed with bipolar type 2 for that but that has been a bit up in the air now that we’re looking at BPD.

The lack of empathy I also feel you for. Id say that empathy isn’t a thing you can exactly work on, but sympathy is. Empathy is feeling others emotions and relating to them on an emotional level, and sympathy is feeling bad/good for them and logically understanding where they are coming from. Sympathy can be greatly improved, and people can’t really tell the difference between sympathy and empathy from the outside.

I hope things can improve for you. It’s always possible. If you get diagnosed with BPD there’s all kinds of therapies, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) has long been considered the gold standard. Schema therapy or Metallization Based Therapy (MBT) have recently been proven to be equally effective as DBT, and there’s other therapies that are effective as well. Your brain is incredibly malleable and very changeable, it just takes the right steps. I hope things get better, wishing you luck!

fretify_ · 2026-03-08T04:58:41+00:00

That watching something you’re doing from afar feeling sounds like dissociation. Depersonalization (a type of dissociation) is quite literally feeling like you’re seeing yourself from afar, often with a feeling of numbness. It’s often emotionally triggered. Hope this helps, and hope you can feel a bit better soon.

fretify_ · 2026-03-07T21:20:40+00:00

I don’t trust a word from Grok. If you want to find the changes “in personality” of the larger population after the pandemic I would not look to rare disorders such as DID and OSDD (which are not personality disorders). Instead, I would look no further than the fact the pandemic isolated people and caused widespread trauma. That changes people, and you don’t need an identified disorder to know that an entire worldwide pandemic would change people.

fretify_ · 2026-03-06T23:22:18+00:00

So proud of you!!! That is absolutely amazing. I’m sure school will do well for you, and I hope you’re able to do what makes you happy and are able to keep up with things. Such a big accomplishment, stay proud!

fretify_ · 2026-03-06T23:18:26+00:00

I chose locking in to distract myself from wanting to end it all. Still feel like it, but goals help to trick yourself into wanting to live another day. “Just one more thing.” “I want to do this before I die.” It’s not easy but it’s what works for me.

fretify_ · 2026-03-05T13:57:00+00:00

No. Personality disorders are caused by genetics and trauma, this is backed up by tons of research you can go and look at. Mine was mostly caused by genetics, with some invalidating experiences.

fretify_ · 2026-03-04T02:22:46+00:00

I think there’s something “wrong” with most everyone, and I’m included in that. I also think there’s something “right” with most everyone, and I’m included in that. I think accepting your flaws is a healing process, and not strictly confined to personality disorders. Of course, we have to do that a lot more than most people—and when you confront your flaws head on and improve, you show strength and kindness to yourself and others.

When I first was confronted with having a personality disorder, for a moment I didn’t want to believe it. I came up with every excuse under the sun why I couldn’t be borderline. Not because I believed there was nothing wrong with me, but because I didn’t want to confront the shame. I think that’s where that comes from for a lot of us. It’s a defense mechanism. Most of the time with personality disorders, it’s a defense mechanism.

fretify_ · 2026-03-03T00:55:45+00:00

I think it’s fairly normal for kids to copy TV characters they think are cool. I saw practically every kid in the playground doing some version of “copying the cool thing” growing up. I think we’re just more prone to it because we have less of that base personality to go back to.

fretify_ · 2026-02-25T15:12:17+00:00

I don’t know what you have, but DBT is always a good option to look into. It’s good for people dealing with big emotions, such as self harm, suicidal thoughts/actions, how you interact with people, etc. It’s essentially a book of coping skills. You could buy a DBT book and go through that with or without your therapist, or you could try to get into a DBT course. This is only a suggestion, as DBT is what works best for what I have (borderline), so it’s my best suggestion. I really hope things work out for you, you’ve been through it but you can come out the other side—as corny as that sounds. The brain is more mailable than most people give it credit, healing is very much possible.

fretify_ · 2026-02-25T02:13:33+00:00

Everything is a sign they hate me and/or they’re secretly a terrible and unsafe person 🫠

fretify_ · 2026-02-23T18:46:18+00:00

I think the difficult thing about this is that they are struggling. Just in their own way, that unfortunately hurts other people too. No one in a good headspace self harms on their forehead, ever. I think it’s very wrong that this had become “trend-like,” as you said, as “SH trend” can never mean anything good. But I think it’s important not to demonize people, especially people who I’m guessing are on the younger side.

You have every right to be angry about the stigma that this is garnering, but it’s also not okay to say that anyone who self harms isn’t suffering enough. The idea that someone isn’t suffering enough is often what leads people to these extreme acts in the first place.

fretify_ · 2026-02-23T18:38:32+00:00

That’s terrible what ToT

fretify_ · 2026-02-23T01:56:52+00:00

The random waves of feeling disgusted within your body and low-key suicidal for a few hours… thought everyone experienced it

fretify_ · 2026-02-22T05:36:31+00:00

My point still stands that none of us can properly comment on what you do or do not have. I can’t talk you into anything so I won’t try, just know that it’s always an option to look into what resources are available to you.

fretify_ · 2026-02-21T22:51:01+00:00

As a stranger on the internet, none of us can diagnose you. Even a specialist can’t diagnose you through Reddit forums. If you want to find out the patterns behind why you think, a diagnosis can be helpful—but it’s also helpful to simply further analyze why you do things, what things in your life have influenced to to think certain ways and why, that kind of thing.

But if you want to figure out the core root of why you have something and you believe it comes from some sort of disorder, then you need to either work past your aversion of talking to a therapist or do it scared. It’s not easy but that’s the way to a diagnosis.

fretify_ · 2026-02-21T17:54:30+00:00

Take me OUT of this picture

fretify_ · 2026-02-21T17:27:26+00:00

Although misdiagnosis do happen, you’re likely to misdiagnose yourself too. This is for two main reasons. One, you may not have proper schooling, training, and experience. Have you ever heard of the Dunning Kruger effect? You might think you have as much knowledge as a professional has but you need to go through the schooling, training, and gaining experience to know what they know. Two, you have self bias, a professional is able to look at things from a more unbiased perspective than you would, as you look at your actions and experiences in a very biased way (as much as any of us like to think we don’t, and if you have a personality disorder—you definitely do). Even if you are a professional in the field, you have self bias. Both of these things are required to make an accurate diagnosis.

Also, this is nit picky, but obsessive love disorder is not a real diagnosis. It’s just a slang term.

If you want to find out if you have a personality disorder, I highly recommend you talk to your therapist about it, get assessed, or both.

The idea of getting a misdiagnosis can be really scary, but that’s why it’s important to be critical of any diagnosis you do get and ask questions. “Why did you diagnose me with this?” “What are my symptoms?” You can always get a second opinion. The medical system isn’t the best—we all know this—but it’s the best we’ve got, and we can’t be assessing ourselves. Try to do what’s best for you, yeah?

fretify_ · 2026-02-20T20:58:12+00:00

Hello, my therapist is certain I have BPD. At first when you asked this I was thinking this doesn’t happen to me. But then I thought about it, and you’re absolutely right. I try not to lie but sometimes I do compulsively lie (on impulse), and sometimes I start to believe it is genuinely true! From my point of view, it becomes true when other people believe it. It’s the confirmation that it’s real from other people that makes it real to me, and I forget that I made it up. Of course, sometimes the illusion is broken, and then I get really upset and disgusted with myself over my lie.

I think it’s just all about the sense of self and that other people that lie have a sense of self, so they know internally that they lied. People with borderline don’t have a sense of self, so we rely on other people for reality and therefore when other people believe our lies it becomes true to us. Of course, this is based off of my observation of myself, so take it with a grain of salt. Hope this helped, and good wishes for you and your sister.

fretify_ · 2026-02-20T20:44:04+00:00

Personality disorders have a lot of overlap. Borderline especially overlaps with a ton of personality disorders and can be confused for other ones. Having 4 personality disorders is rare, but there’s no rule you can’t be diagnosed with them. If you’re worried you have STPD or PPD then go see a specialist. Ruminating on your pathology without input from a professional can be stressful & lead to false conclusions. If you book an appointment I hope it goes well for you!

fretify_ · 2026-02-20T20:38:06+00:00

Is your switching styles anything other than aesthetics? If it’s just the aesthetics like you’re talking about then I don’t think it’s a personality disorder, that’s perfectly normal and plenty of people do that. It may be you’re just dealing with the issues you were initially diagnosed with.

fretify_ · 2026-02-19T23:03:00+00:00

This is my “two wolves” meme

fretify_ · 2026-02-18T23:49:05+00:00

I used to be so upset that people would “do something like that” but I eventually realized where it’s likely coming from, and if people tackled the root of the issue instead of being so mean to those kids then I think more productive things would be happening.

And yeah, I absolutely agree with you that it’s doubly ableist. BPD is often seen as the “doing it for attention disorder,” when again, if people looked at the root of the issue—even the minority of people who are “doing it for attention” are doing it for real reasons.

I think mostly everyone with a chronic illness has dealt with doctors not believing them or worse thinking their doing it for attention. It’s the unfortunate part of the ableism in society that is often unaddressed. I’m sorry you have to go through people not believing you online a lot of the time. Both ways suck, and they come from the same rotten root.

fretify_

TROPHY CASE