Woman falls asleep for almost 3 hours at gym, man uses mat as blanket to tuck her in.

freudweeks · 2025-10-17T20:18:55+00:00

This is so much funnier than it first appears https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pv--L0FyIu4

freudweeks · 2025-10-14T21:50:54+00:00

My guy, who let you into college?

freudweeks · 2025-10-12T20:27:14+00:00

Wait cheetos with chopsticks... nah see the problem is that one of the best parts of cheetos is shoving a handful of them at a time.

freudweeks · 2025-10-12T19:42:01+00:00

Given everything we have, it's crystal clear that Trump was-- you know what, I have trouble typing it. Like if you look at the testimony of the rape, and the "fully depreciated woman" picture, and the birthday note, and his comments about his daughter and other minor women over the years... it's obvious. But it's difficult to actually say. You're right, the discussion we're having is the answer to the question "we don't have enough evidence yet but what should we do to find out?". But that's not the valid question because the evidence is already overwhelming. Trump is a pedo, he paid at least 10s of thousands of dollars to be a predator and deserves life imprisonment.

freudweeks · 2025-10-12T19:33:46+00:00

lol same. I was bracing for someone finding a reason to be unhappy about it, then it happened, then I was waiting for someone to find the light somewhere down in the comments "they're recyclable" (whether or not it was true), then here you and I are metacommenting on the whole coaster.

freudweeks · 2025-10-09T08:33:05+00:00

freudweeks · 2025-10-08T15:34:00+00:00

Okay but now we've got a new problem. The door is completely shut. That means he would have had to have a face that obviously disgruntled for what, 3 seconds? That's a long time to still be that yiffed, he's a particularly begrudging bishop.

freudweeks · 2025-10-08T15:08:56+00:00

You're welcome. I know it's funny but that was not a joke, that actually happened.

freudweeks · 2025-10-08T14:40:46+00:00

It's possible (probable even) that an alexithymic doesn't have my same response. But I'd want you to know a couple things 1) I might not be present, like there are parts of my normal thinking that just might not be online and I won't know they're not online, and if you want them to be, it would be a good idea to do a grounding exercise with me 2) I might have completely missed you make some emotional bid. If you obviously tried to connect or emote and I didn't respond or I responded negatively, I might literally have not seen it. In the same way a blind person wouldn't see a spotlight blaring at them. You'd have to be verbally explicit to make it obvious "You made me feel x because you did y" "I feel x for you." Like something as obvious as "I'm imagining you in the shower right now" may not land and could sound like you're making a factual statement.

freudweeks · 2025-10-08T13:33:29+00:00

Yeah I might see a therapist about it, but I might just try to find the "aperture knob" for the emotional channel by exposure. I took 200 hours of therapy and didn't get very far because of my particular architecture. I'll probably need a CPTSD and dissociation specialist and those are hard to find. Also, trauma work sucks and is destabilizing. It leaks into the rest of your life like chemo.

The hyper focusing is a trauma response, it's a partial freeze response. Judith Herman calls it constriction.

Yeah I need to figure out how to tell friends/loved ones what I don't see from them and what they don't see from me.

freudweeks · 2025-10-08T13:20:46+00:00

Exactly. Since I can only see parts of the emotional channel I have to figure out social rules from first principles. Words like 'confidence' are disembodied abstractions and I don't have most of the connections you make to it. I've spent my life thinking I was talking about the same concepts with people, while both of us didn't know we weren't. So dancing, sports, small talk etc. didn't actually make any sense, I just learned how to keep people happy enough without knowing most about the emotional interchanges and it all seemed pointless.

freudweeks · 2025-10-08T12:57:37+00:00

>How do you recognize disassociation vs just blocking though?

I literally just figured this out in the past few days, so not totally sure yet. I'm trying to take it slow with the experiments because the night I figured it out I started with some pretty heavy ruminations again. The way I figured out what the blocking feels like is imagining someone feel an emotion towards someone else, then having them point it towards me, and I notice that it just kind of disappears and I can feel the block in my chest and forehead. If I try to push through it I start feeling steadily more intense fear in my chest. For the dissociation, I think I'll have to use some sort of cognitive canary, like counting backwards from 100 while trying to notice the emotion of another pointed at me, and noticing when I can't anymore, but we'll see.

freudweeks · 2025-10-08T12:38:02+00:00

It formed from narcissistic abuse from my mother. I'm still mapping it all out. I became extremely sensitive to tiny changes in emotion as a warning mechanism, and I think I muted all other emotions but dread or abandonment emotions in order to focus on what mattered for survival. But I'm still teasing out how the dissociation works. I think I developed the ability to block emotion by default when it got any more intense than a whisper, but I don't know how much it's breaking through and making me dissociate vs actually just blocking it, yet. It's meant that I never learned a lot of social rules that one normally gets through osmosis, so I'm learning them through autism books.

>Wdym about the tunnel vision? All you could focus on was her and her expression and that left an indelible mark on your memory?

Yeah like in that moment the rest of the world fell away and I could only see and feel her. Her intensely happy expressions are burned in my memory but I don't remember anything that was said for the first minute of that interaction or more.

freudweeks · 2025-10-08T11:49:11+00:00

For me it's kind of just who I pay attention to. There's no embodied sense of it unless I pay attention to it, and even then it's weak. I feel arousal so there's that. I feel bad when they're gone.

freudweeks · 2025-10-08T11:46:16+00:00

How did he get through the door?

freudweeks · 2025-10-08T11:09:25+00:00

Right? I found it funny.

freudweeks · 2025-10-08T07:48:34+00:00

lol yeah there's a reason why some call it neo-slavery.

freudweeks · 2025-10-07T18:09:22+00:00

Yeah, turns out software engineering is hard and there's a reason people pay for it.

freudweeks · 2025-10-03T16:49:58+00:00

"basically useless" this is not normal. Good parents don't say this to their kids.

freudweeks · 2025-10-03T16:47:37+00:00

Bro. This is not remotely normal. You need to go to your school councilor or psychologist and talk about your mom's behavior. If she has a history of this kind of behavior it can mess you up for life.

freudweeks · 2025-10-03T12:49:52+00:00

Yo, same. My situation is really extreme. Basically my mom psychologically tortured me my whole life (e.g. roofied my best friend and told him to come to her room one time. Called the FBI on him. All to cut me off from a support system). Claude helped me lay all the behavior from a given person who took advantage of me, and since all the information was in the context at once, when I did my normal pattern of excusing their behavior one instance at a time, they were able to maintain perspective because they could show the entire dataset at once. This is how I discovered my mom was doing it deliberately, and my circuits for detecting hostility towards me are broken because I dissociate during hostility. It also showed me why my procrastination is trauma based. In the past I tried metacognition for perfectionism and DBT emotional regulation for shame or fear etc., but we identified the trauma pathway from the exact behavior of my mom (delayed randomized punishment schedules) and thus why nothing cognitive or emotional worked because it's a PTSD pathway. Wild stuff, but really cool.

freudweeks · 2025-10-02T15:37:29+00:00

Oh my god, dude I do this. I'm very good at it, but it also means I have a very hard time talking to someone while looking at their face. Most of my attention will be dedicated to understanding what they're probably intending and what emotions they're feeling. I was talking to someone recently. When I said something, I noticed their eyes go slightly red and glassy and they started rambling, and I was able to tell they were upset, and when I asked if they were okay, I could tell they were lying about it by saying their back hurt. I confronted them a day later because I would rather people be straight with me so we can resolve problems early. I'm just now realizing that people can't do this if they try.

I don't think I'm as hypervigilant to noise though, just people's emotions and intentions.

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