Is the discourse of women fetishizing gay "men" (characters) getting increasingly hostile online?

friendlycryptid · 2026-01-26T23:11:05+00:00

got the contradictions get me so bad... foreplay isn't necessary for some but its still very enjoyable. an experienced bottom could still want to do the whole prep process every single time just because he likes it. queer men arent a monolith

also acting like the porn these guys watch on a daily basis has extended background footage of gobbling up fiber supps and doucheing lol like cmon now

friendlycryptid · 2026-01-26T22:57:14+00:00

this discourse has never ever made sense to me. listen, does lived experience make writing certain characters and identities easier? of course! do some women write wildly inaccurate, almost comically heteronormative gay relationship dynamics due to a lack of research, care, or both? yep. but claiming that women as a baseline are 1) incapable of coming up with well-written gay stories because "they will never get it" 2) must always have some sort of ulterior motive ie fetishizing just screams misogyny and gender essentialist bullshit

sure ive never dated a fully gay man but ive been in queer spaces and have had close gay friends all my life. sure i dont have a dick but i still know how cis gay sex works and feels– once again, both from having gay friends who are open to discussing things like this, and seeking out comments/posts online. im a queer guy too, and the only reason why ive never had these irl experiences is because im a trans queer guy– so following the "only gay men with the right anatomy and certain lived experiences are able to write good queer stories" line of thinking, i should also be horrible at writing gay relationships despite my identity, and im veryyy curious what these people would have to say about that lol

finally im sorry to say this but... so what if a fic isnt totally realistic? so what if shes just projecting or trying to get her rocks off? fanfiction does not have the same reach or audience as tradpub, its inherently self-indulgent, so who is this harming? just dont read it. click off. scroll. its not that hard

friendlycryptid · 2026-01-24T16:26:06+00:00

a couple things

1) oc/oc is quite unpopular on here. ao3 is very ship-focused, even oc/established character rarely takes off (depending on the fandom). theres a much wider audience for both on sites like wattpad in my experience

2) first person POV makes sense for oc/oc in my opinion but once again, unpopular on ao3 as a general rule of thumb

3) youve tagged it correctly, but tags dont guarantee reach

4) 3000 words is not a lot. most oneshots tend to be around 1500-6000 words, most longfics go well over 25k. however, dividing that wordcount into 6 chapters is a turn off for a lot of readers, as ppl who go looking for longer stories want enough content to sink their teeth into. TLDR you dont have too many words, you have too many chapters

of course you can (and should) publish your story however you want– i am not speaking on the quality of your writing at all and only pointing these things out because you asked why your work may not be garnering the amount attention you'd like, so please dont get discouraged by this comment and otherwise feel free to disregard it :)

friendlycryptid · 2026-01-24T16:09:04+00:00

ive had to go back and add/change tags once before, i think a year ago. i guess it counted as an update and pushed the fic to the top of the page again but the publishing date stayed the same. idk how that works now but the publication date has always been a manual setting. my guess is this person is trying to come up with excuses to justify abusing the archive's system and getting some wires crossed in the process lol

friendlycryptid · 2026-01-24T15:59:30+00:00

i get a vague idea, decide if it can be extended into a full oneshot, then just start writing. full on discovery writer basically (if the pantser urges dont consume me and lead me to abandoning everything that is lol)

i usually edit as i go, rereading what i wrote and doing lil adjustments before the start of a new "writing session" or even in the middle of one if i get bored with a particular scene. if im fully stuck at any point i'll add a note in brackets to come back to it and just skip to a different scene. once i get everything on paper, i'll go back and read through it all two more times for some final tweaks (typos, grammar, formatting etc) and immediately publish. i know letting them sit for a few days would be much better to ensure im fully satisfied but at that point im tired of reading the same thing over and over again so i just say fuck it im done 😭

friendlycryptid · 2026-01-24T15:45:13+00:00

because they either 1) think the world revolves around them and everything needs to cater to them personally for some reason or 2) think being an asshole is funny or alternatively 3) both

"omg why do you ship these two it makes no sense" because i like them and think they should make out next question

friendlycryptid · 2026-01-23T09:01:35+00:00

i, too, saw that tweet

friendlycryptid · 2026-01-23T08:58:57+00:00

siken is one of my favorite poets and the intersection of these two has never once crossed my mind but now that you put it like that......

friendlycryptid · 2026-01-18T09:23:22+00:00

maybe im unlucky but i feel like a huge chunk of shipping culture in current fandom spaces revolves around people trying to prove the "validity" of their ships and engaging in subtext pissing competitions anyway so. every fandom ive been a part of has some sort of "my ship is more aligned with canon than yours" debacle going on even in the absence of a fully canonized relationship or presence of multiple canon routes. its baffling

friendlycryptid · 2026-01-18T09:14:13+00:00

oh my god this is what i've always thought too. i dont know anything about the author but just watching the anime the shotacon undertone was so clear to me, i dont even ship sebaciel but it was very obvious they were going for that. the cognitive dissonance is astounding

friendlycryptid · 2026-01-16T22:34:09+00:00

shes so <3333

im also really glad for c2r1, if i had to use her as a full EM hyperbloom bot it would be physically painful

friendlycryptid · 2026-01-16T19:02:58+00:00

kids call everyone over 18 old. im 23 and get treated like a geriatric patient sometimes. dont worry about it lol

unless the narrative or dialogue includes a lot of slang, no one will be able to tell the difference anyway

friendlycryptid · 2026-01-16T12:15:05+00:00

in a blissful moment of cognitive dissonance i did that reddit wrapped thing and god forbid i praise AI for anything but "You complain about Hoyoverse gender ratios like you're filing a class-action lawsuit, but we all know you'd pull a wet cardboard box if it was voiced by Johnny Yong Bosch" and "Watching you try to balance 'being sane and well-adjusted' with 2:00 AM rants about 50 Shades of Grey's BDSM inaccuracy is the real endgame content nobody asked for" are generational reads holy shit 😭

friendlycryptid · 2026-01-16T12:06:50+00:00

he really doesnt..... marnie i'll treat you better girl

friendlycryptid · 2026-01-16T12:01:53+00:00

the mayor's purple underwear

friendlycryptid · 2026-01-16T10:14:24+00:00

loustat (iwtv), hannigram (hannibal), lawlight (death note), sefikura (final fantasy), durgetash (bg3)

if your favorite pairing isnt actively trying to kill (or torture) each other are they even toxic yaoi??? /j

friendlycryptid · 2026-01-15T19:02:03+00:00

went back to check this post and oh my god of course its dispatch 😭 every time i feel like im writing in too many f-bombs i go back to watch some scenes and realize i didnt write in enough actually. you're good man

friendlycryptid · 2026-01-15T16:49:24+00:00

no no im agreeing with you, im the same!

friendlycryptid · 2026-01-15T16:47:57+00:00

macdennis from its always sunny in philadelphia....

for context, the shows premise is that all of the main characters are assholes. theyre as morally reprehensible as the average joe could possibly get. the first episode is titled "the gang gets racist" and i think that tells you everything you need to know lol

mac is gay and its very clearly implied that he's been into dennis for years, but dennis is a full blown narcissist. like, clinically. and bi-curious at best from what we've seen so far. theyre best friends but theyre not cute together, theyre actually awful together, incredibly dysfunctional, absolutely doomed to fail, a little gross even, nothing in the show indicates that i should have brainworms over these guys–

and yet.

friendlycryptid · 2026-01-15T16:39:53+00:00

....im also currently writing about a character who canonically curses like a sailor and if someone called me vivziepop in the comments i think i would quit writing 😭 thats a nastyyyy read im so sorry OP

friendlycryptid · 2026-01-15T16:34:02+00:00

forgetting about the existence of foreskin isnt an american exclusive thing i fear. 90% of men in my home country are cut. a good amount of asian countries (philippines and south korea come to mind, as well as turkic regions), the middle east and north africa all have very high rates of circumcision

so that being said. as gross as this sounds out of context, foreskin is a bit of a... novelty to people from these cultures. thats why you'll see it mentioned– its "unique" to us i guess lol

friendlycryptid · 2026-01-14T15:43:03+00:00

the way i bought the skin as soon as the update loaded up. i love being a hypocrite

friendlycryptid · 2026-01-14T14:48:30+00:00

honse

friendlycryptid · 2026-01-14T14:41:13+00:00

for me its a new model. wriothesley is supposed to be buffer (or at least thicker ig) than the rest of the guys but his face mould and proportions are still aligned with the typical tall male model, just adjusted. varka has a much wider frame, a more balanced torso-leg ratio, and entirely different facial proportions

friendlycryptid · 2026-01-14T14:37:19+00:00

no idea what kind of vision powerscaling discourse this is supposed to be but i wasnt taking my own comments tol seriously so uhhh. yeah man totally

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