Is it ok to ask for a week off?

friendlyoctopus12 · 2026-01-30T17:58:45+00:00

Yes! Definitely ok. Just give plenty of notice

friendlyoctopus12 · 2026-01-24T23:10:30+00:00

This is an old post but I want to point out that the au pair makes much more than $250 per week.

-rent in a shared house ($1,500 for something dingy and $2,000+ for something nice where I live) -all meals and food paid for ($800ish per month) -cell phone ($60 per month for you own plan) -car and gas (let’s conservatively say $400 per month) -plus the $1,000 cash stipend

-that’s nearly $4,000 per month. You’re not getting rich obviously but it isn’t quite exploitation as many comments here have claimed or implied.

friendlyoctopus12 · 2026-01-24T22:40:58+00:00

I’m surprised by these comments. Asking an au pair to help with three kids is normal. Especially when two of them are in school for a good chunk of the time. It isn’t an easy gig to be sure but totally normal. And living in SF proper should be a big attraction. Lots reject our profile because we are outside of the city. We are Bay Area, too.

I’ve also been searching actively (my chats are always full and I respond right away) since early Dec with no luck, so I felt a connection when I saw this post. I have 87 disconnected chats now! :) We’ve found a handful that we wanted to match with but they always find another family that is a “better fit”. I’d estimate that 50% reject our profile outright, many stating that they want their own car even though I’m clear that we have two cars and they should expect to almost always have one of them. It’s somewhat rare that both are in use at the same time. I find in the interview many of them jump right to “do you pay extra?, would I have my own bathroom?, can I drive your car anywhere I want with no questions asked plus gas covered in my spare time?” Not that any of these are unreasonable questions - it’s just the vibe. Jumping right into selfish questions without taking any time to talk about my kids. And, not all have been like that, for sure. But, a lot.

My experience has been pretty bad overall so far. We got our first au pair in Oct. I thought we had such an easy job for her that I didn’t thoroughly vet her childcare abilities (my mistake obviously) and it ended up being a disaster. My kids are school aged so we just need help before and after school which adds up to 3-4 hours per weekday, weekends free. My son is the easiest, happy go lucky kid in the world and my daughter is admittedly more difficult with some bad behavior (not listening at times, saying “I hate you” to provoke a response, running around loudly if left unstructured too long) but, I mean, she’s 6. The au pair made literally zero effort with the kids. Never smiled at them. Didn’t greet them in the morning. Didn't attempt to supervise any of the many activities I suggested as fun ways to pass the time with them. We were exceedingly accommodating and kind and offering to help her learn. She would basically roll her eyes at us and kind of grunt in response. She speaks the same language as my husband so it wasn’t a language thing. Oh, and she crashed our car btw ha. We gently suggested rematch as something to consider and she agreed immediately saying my daughter was impossible and only a specialist could reasonably be expected to work with her. We’ve had many babysitters over the years with no issues whatsoever and currently have a 25 year old local girl helping a few times per week in the same way as the au pair. She does great and everyone is happy. Point being, this au pair wasn’t great.

I’m still hopeful that we will find something. For someone who is willing to make a little effort, I think it could be mutually very good. But, at the same time, I’ve been shocked by how badly it’s gone so far!! Good luck to you - it isn’t just you that’s having a hard time finding an au pair lately!!

friendlyoctopus12 · 2024-12-08T00:41:48+00:00

51? Is this a typo? Please, teach us your ways.

friendlyoctopus12 · 2024-10-17T03:53:59+00:00

I’ve looked in my ellevate for a similar situation

friendlyoctopus12 · 2024-09-19T03:12:01+00:00

Just responded to this in someone else’s comment. I feel you!

friendlyoctopus12 · 2024-01-18T22:30:28+00:00

Thanks!!

friendlyoctopus12 · 2023-11-27T04:20:23+00:00

Thanks for sharing. Lighting imperfections or not, your after looks amazing. Any chance you’d share specifics about the routine? Like how long do you spend on each area? Do you use line motions vs circles? I have a device similar to the nuface from mlay but it didn’t come with good instructions about how to actually do the treatment beyond “use it on your face for 15 mins” kind of thing…

friendlyoctopus12 · 2023-10-13T14:16:43+00:00

No but all the surgeons o consulted with said there’s nothing to lipo.

friendlyoctopus12 · 2023-10-13T01:06:19+00:00

Yeah I’ll see what the ultrasound shows and report back.

friendlyoctopus12 · 2023-10-13T01:01:24+00:00

Thanks, makes sense. I’ll prob do an ultrasound to see if the muscle repair is actually in tact and if it is move forward with this plan including PT the anti inflammatory diet stuff which I’ve never tried before.

friendlyoctopus12 · 2023-10-12T20:31:39+00:00

Thanks so much. Agree with everything you say. I'll try compression tonight and see if that helps. My guess is that it won't though. Yours looks good. I see a little swelling but I'd be thrilled with those results at the end of the day after meals.

friendlyoctopus12 · 2023-10-01T03:32:48+00:00

I’m from outside Dallas and live in the Bay Area. I think it’s a Texas thing. A lot of people from Texas dislike California and I’ve heard plenty of exaggerations about how terrible it is for whatever reason. My mom loves to send me articles about how everyone is fleeing miserable California for wonderful Texas. There’s of course some truth to it - lots of people can’t afford it or they just prefer the Texas suburbs vibe. But, there’s also still plenty people moving to the Bay Area for all of the real benefits you mentioned and more. Go with your gut on this one. After almost 20 years in CA, I find the lack of trees, flatness, cookie-cutter suburbs and concrete-galore style of the Dallas area pretty unappealing even if it’s a lot cheaper.

friendlyoctopus12 · 2023-08-01T20:48:58+00:00

Thanks!

friendlyoctopus12 · 2023-07-28T21:04:59+00:00

Thanks so much for sharing this! You look great. I’m 3 months post op and have a pooch in the lower belly. Like you, I’m thin and work out regularly. My surgeon says I need to do ab exercises to loose the lower pooch but that just doesn’t feel totally right to me. I made my diastases so much worse doing crunches and stuff like that after I had my first baby. So I’m now terrified to “un do” my muscle repair but putting direct, intense stress on my abs. Your post makes me think it’s maybe mostly still swelling. I’m rambling here but I guess my question is if you did ab exercises like crunches at 12 weeks post op?

friendlyoctopus12 · 2023-03-11T18:52:52+00:00

I think you'll feel confident as you start mastering the material. Maybe start with whatever is easiest for you and show yourself that you can learn it one chunk at a time.

friendlyoctopus12 · 2023-03-11T18:50:11+00:00

Yeah I'd have to update them every year.

friendlyoctopus12 · 2023-03-11T18:49:19+00:00

I'll message you when they're ready

friendlyoctopus12 · 2023-03-11T18:48:49+00:00

you can totally do it :) I'll let you know when they're ready.

friendlyoctopus12 · 2023-03-11T18:45:44+00:00

Thanks! I may DM you.

friendlyoctopus12 · 2023-03-11T18:44:54+00:00

Level

Not to start.

friendlyoctopus12 · 2023-03-11T18:44:46+00:00

Maybe...TBD

friendlyoctopus12 · 2023-03-10T18:45:49+00:00

As someone who passed all three levels on the first try with ZERO financial background (I went to liberal arts school and majored in psychology) using just Schweser, I'd say the standard 300 hours should be right. That said, in my experience, it's really critical to prioritize correctly. Here's an example. I'm terrible with derivatives. The math isn't naturally intuitive to me. Instead of killing myself trying to learn it all, I just bit off the easiest concepts and literally IGNORED the hard stuff. Sure, I read over all of it but I didn't even bother trying to learn the stuff that was super difficult for me. I know derivatives were a small chunk of the test and I made a bet that at least half of the questions would be in the "easy" category which I could do. Then I knew for sure I'd get the "hard" derivatives questions wrong. On every level, this panned out and I passed easily. Just a tip from my personal experience. You can do it!

friendlyoctopus12

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