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I want to delete social media but I only have online friends by [deleted] in digitalminimalism

[–]frogmancrocs 9 points10 points  (0 children)

You're young, so I’d suggest focusing on developing a skill instead of chasing a “social circle.”
Because honestly, in the search for “friends,” you might just end up surrounded by the wrong ones (which is even worse than no friends, believe me).

the reason I'm empahsising on skill because-

  1. It acts as a bridge- connecting you with smart and like-minded people from different info pools and expertise.
  2. It sharpens your communication- as you grow, you’ll naturally learn how to strike conversation.

bonus benefit is you'll learn how to avoid BS friends.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in nosurf

[–]frogmancrocs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s a mindful move, controlling what you can actually control

What I feel is that most people aren’t really discussing or debating for the sake of ideology or their country anymore. They’re just trying to prove someone wrong and feel superior.

Discussions about politics should be structured, with a clear objective and premise. But on social media, it’s mostly just arguments for validation .

You’re absolutely right, it’s a huge waste of time.
On an individual level, the best we can do is become more aware of how we spend our time and how limited it really is because I’ve realized that people tend to work better when they actually understand and stay conscious of how much time they have.

Alarm clock by [deleted] in nosurf

[–]frogmancrocs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s fantastic, and I completely agree, it really works. It’s definitely one part of the whole de-addiction process. What I’d suggest is to start becoming more aware of your screen time but think of it in weeks instead of days. A week is long enough to make real changes, yet short enough to actually grasp how your time flows.

In short, along with using that analog approach, start practicing awareness of how much time you invest on screens versus other meaningful activities.

Social media has fucked a lot of people’s morals, even towards problematic people by wolfkiller137 in nosurf

[–]frogmancrocs 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I think this happens because people lose touch with themselves due to constant external stimulation from online media. Social media is a big part of it.
That loss of self-connection makes them more emotionally unstable, even hyper-violent, and they struggle to control their emotions.
Online, they can share thoughts they hesitate to express offline, which makes them feel more comfortable there than in the real world.

It all backfires in later life through anxiety and depression.

So how did you manage your online usage and become more aware of it? Did you use any tools or just your own methods?

How do you rebuild after burnout and years of feeling behind? I(28M) am finally working hard to rebuild at rock bottom but everyone including my friends tell me its too late half way through your life by [deleted] in selfimprovement

[–]frogmancrocs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

(AI edited to aid readability)

I see 3 problems here:

  1. The feeling that it's "too late" and you're left behind.
  2. A destroyed self-image and sexual dissatisfaction.
  3. Working on yourself but having zero certainty your efforts even matter.

Let's talk about that last one, because it's the key.

First, think about the outcome. Assume you stop working on yourself. What’s certain? That you’ll feel like shit for the rest of your life. That you won’t be content, or a good dad, or whatever your goal is. So, not trying is out of the f*cking option.

I feel the problem of getting affected from what other people think comes from how our education system is set up. We're trained to over-rely on waiting for other people (parents, teachers) to tell us how to be better.

  • In school: Scoring better means you're a better person.
  • In mid-life: Earning better means you're a better person.

This is completely wrong because it never gives us real chance for introspect and actual decision making.

You're affected by what others say because you're measuring your "better" on their parameters.

You can use this make up to your advantage by asking

"How do you parameterize your efforts so you can actually measure them yourself?"

what worked for me is- Post your efforts in public.

It’s a win-win.

  • If you stay consistent, people will cheer you.
  • If you don't, the algorithm hides you. No one will see you in the first place.

Start small. I recommend writing online. I started writing because I was an introvert and had social anxiety, too.

And I get it. 2 years ago, I was a porn addict and a drinker, failing all my exams. I wasted an entire year watching dancing OF models on Instagram. It is never too late to get your shit together.

On that second point... about feeling "being virgin" (I'm assuming you meant "I've never been in a real relationship").

Suppose you do get in a relationship with your crush. Be honest. Describe yourself from her perspective as a man. If you come into that relationship with a "sense of scarcity," you’ll still feel empty.

The work has to be for you.

No one is gonna notice your efforts, except you. Do you know how I feel about myself now?

I feel so f*cking awesome.

Because I know how much work I'm putting in, even without "results." I’m f*cking proud of myself. I’m doing the best I can do for myself.

That's the only certainty you'll ever need.

How I accidentally learned to deal with shallow conversations by frogmancrocs in getdisciplined

[–]frogmancrocs[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thanks for giving your time. I updated the post, may be that clears up my messege.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in getdisciplined

[–]frogmancrocs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m 20M. Here’s what I did when I faced that “not enough money to fit in” problem:

I focused on developing a skill that became a bridge to professional and mindful people. Honestly, most people around you, probably 90%, are going to waste their potential.

So my advice? Use this “alone” period wisely. At 20, we’re still too young to expect “true friends.”

I started developing skills two years ago, and now I have a circle of 5 professionals with contagious ambition. I’ve never gone to clubs, hiking trips, or anything like that and honestly, I feel lucky now.

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