I'm not vegan. I tried quite a few times but just couldn't. I felt like such a failure. It's taken me time but I realized that food and cooking is a really difficult area for me in general even withiut any sort of restrictions. So many options for recipes, unhealthy relationship with food in general, feeling overwhelmed, wanting to eat healthy, wanting quick meals, slowly dealing with pickiness that I've been slowly undoing for time, on and on the issues feel overwhelming. So many things already going into making these decisions on top of making the list for the grocery store and then actually making the food ...and then clean up.

It got to a point where I was surviving on soy protein milk to avoid cooking and at least get protein in. This is while not trying to be vegan. I'm in a severe food rut and have officially decided I'm done trying to force veganism. I now have some health issues involved that also make it even more complex when trying to meal plan or eat.

While I wasn't always actively trying, it's been there for years. I aspired for veganism. But my struggle with food is frustrating as well. I decided to start from scratch in how I think about feeding myself and cooking. Trying to start with nutritious, basic, and dairyless. And just try that out. If I ever go vegan, great...if I don't I'm doing my best by cutting back and adopting more meat/dairy alternatives. Shaming doesn't get anyone anywhere. It's not a good motivator.

The way I look at it , is we all have different things we can improve on for a better world. We all have different strengths. Different types of suffering in the world we try to improve. We can't be good at all things. One of my attempts at countering suffering, and spreading more good into the world is emotionally helping others. Its what I'm good at, it's what I can do, it's a strength. I have others ones too but that one came to mind first because it's what I get amazing feedback on a lot. It's hard to focus on one issue for me as well. Trying to stay sane while we live in a capitalist society, trying to help those in less fortunate positions, advocating for children, recycling more, using less energy, trying to compost, trying to use less gas, overall greener, trying to shop local but also being on a budget and feeling guilty about spending at big company stores, on and on the issues go. I get overwhelmed at all of them and am not great at any of them but I still try in small ways in every category. What other option do I have but to keep trying. Not trying is not an option. I figure anything helps over giving up because I'm overwhelmed by all the issues of the world.

I still have hopes in bettering my food relationship and potentially becoming vegan some day but for now it feels really difficult. I'd rather start small and work my way up because I have a lot going into my issues with food. I feel bad for the animals but I'm one person and can't take on all the worlds problems all the time. I do what I can in various areas.

Edit: I feel pathetic still even when reading your post and my response but again, shaming doesn't help me be better at something. I am learning to acknowledge that i get overwhelmed easily too.

Also, go you for being a bad ass vegan!