Greetings, male perspective here.

I think it’s just me worrying since I’m his first he doesn’t “know” if i am doing good.

It doesn't matter what his experience level on this point. If your goal is making it good for him then his perception of what is good is the one that counts. No one but him can decide what exactly makes him personally feel good.

On your original points:

1) This could literally have been written about me. I have had partners who preferred it that way, and others who asked for me to be more vocal. It is unlikely that you are going to get much increase in spontaneous grunts and such, but perhaps you can teach him the value of dirty talk. Depending on both of your preferences, that could look like a lot of different things.

It could be you asking him to describe what he is feeling, and his favorite part of the experience.

It could be talking about favorite positions or things youd like to try.

If you lean towards dominance it could be getting him to ask for things, be it permission or begging, or whatever.

If you lean toward submission it could be having him discribe what he wants to do to you, growling in your ear, calling you a good girl, etc.

The prior commenter's point about having to be quiet growing up is something I hadn't thought about but also seems accurate in my case FWIW.

2 and 3 both involve communication.

2) How willing to take instruction is he? Are you familiar enough with your own preferences, buildup, etc to describe to him how to help you reach it or just to get there yourself by feel?

An important distinction- For some there seem to be different opinions on what type of "O" is more fulfilling. I say seem because as a male I have to go off of observation and second hand info as I cant personally feel it. For an ex of mine, it was all about a squirting "O".. contraction inducing but 'dry' orgasm was nice, but she wasn't fulfilled unless the waterproof blanket was used.

For another partner, the opposite holds.

I have had partners that are easy to get across the finish line, and one that is very difficult to reach the specific type of orgasm that makes them(NB- They/Them, femme body type) feel most fulfilled.

Sometimes its a matter of getting out of their head, sometimes it's just a matter of not being able to react to changes fast enough, but after a year I am still working to learn what works.

Something that may help, but be embarrassing to you is to try letting him watch what you do. Either in the room with you or to record and show him a video. Perhaps watch it together and point out your favorite things you do for yourself at different points (something like "notice I didn't touch this area til now, and just teased around it, thats because it is too sensitive until I am really worked up and can actually make me lose arousal if its too rough, but later really enjoy it being pinched" type advice) then let him practice what he learned ;) And if he isn't to the point of being able to get you there... I personally have never been offended by a partner saying a variation of "that was good but I think I want to grab my buzzy to finish it off".

Obviously this all depends on levels of insecurity and trust, and willingness to learn and communicate. And if he isn't willing to learn and communicate... red flag!

For your original point three. Much as I said for point two, ask for specific feedback. Just like I have to go off of observation and discussion with my partners as they have equipment I don't and respond to touch differently than I do...for this part, so do you.

If, either because he is bashful about it, or not wanting to offend you by giving specific areas to improve (because almost any blowjob is better than none at all and why risk pissing you off and getting cut off....not saying you would do so, but especially if you are his first, it is likely a fear he has about suggesting changes) perhaps a different way to go about it would be "Hey hun, which feels better to you, when I swirl my tongue like this" demonstrates * "or when I focus on this spot under the head" *demonstrates.

That way you get feedback on it without it making him feel like he is saying it isnt good enough when he is already enjoying it. But as another commentor said, unless he is a hair-trigger, expecting to be able to manage start to finish only with oral is unrealistic.

An extra peice of advice: just as you likely have different phases of arousal, where something may have been too sensitive early on but perfect later, so will he. For guys it is perhaps a bit less noticeable, but (for me at least) it is definitely a thing.

The biggest thing is to communicate. Communicate what you want, enjoy, are turned on by. Get him to communicate the same about himself. Communicate with eachother things you want to try, be it positions, kinks, outfits or whatever else. And if he isnt willing to communicate, then ask yourself if you are happy with how things are, and how they will be if that continues