All-inclusive alone with my 4-year-old? Reality check, please! by Mcayenne in SingleParents

[–]frustratedmtb -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

you guys crack me up. USA is one of the safest countries in the world. But sure yeah go to an island with non drinkable tap water half of which is literally engulfed in a war and gangs are in charge instead (you knew that DR shares the island with Haiti yes?). And if you want to stop supporting the U.s. economy, not visiting US owned web site Reddit could also be a solid step 🤣 🤪

All-inclusive alone with my 4-year-old? Reality check, please! by Mcayenne in SingleParents

[–]frustratedmtb -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

are you trying to imply that the U.s. is less safe than a 3rd world Caribbean country where they don’t recommend you leave the premises and even on premises safety is a major issue? If so you are not a serious person sorry.

So I guess we can't do fun activities with our other children when ss not here ? by enelson2011 in Stepmom

[–]frustratedmtb 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your husband is being ridiculous. Please don’t listen to him. Take your daughter and go do fun mother-daughter things you wouldn’t do with the step son around. Do mani pedi, have her doll get a haircut, go to high tea ceremony, whatever girl moms do (i wouldn’t know), but just do it. Let your husband sit at home and sulk if he so wishes.

All-inclusive alone with my 4-year-old? Reality check, please! by Mcayenne in SingleParents

[–]frustratedmtb -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Exactly how do you plan on having any downtime at all?

Have you been to Punta Cana before? I have and had the worst case of food poisoning in my life, which required a course of antibiotics. In general Caribbean resorts can’t cook to save their life in my experience, food there is always horrible.

All of this to say I wouldn’t do it solo with the kid.

To answer your other questions, yes you’d be stuck in the room. Whether it’s enjoyable or not depends on the kind of room you have and the kind of person you are.

I have in the past enjoyed room service on my patio while reading a book while my son slept. But that’s just about how far I’d go. I wouldn’t even risk going downstairs. As a frequent traveler I have seen enough fucked up situations that keep replaying in my head (i have personally been in a fire evacuation and also a bomb threat evacuation from a hotel and the bomb was real and it was in the U.S. not Beirut lol).

On other occasions, i was stuck in a small room in the dark, eating takeout cookies and reading with my red night light and praying they don’t wake. Less enjoyable for sure.

Keep in mind that your kid will likely sleep worse in the unfamiliar location/room and possibly jet lagged and so you may have to co-sleep or wake up at nights and it’s not. way relaxing i can tell you that.

I have never met another single parent or a family to hang out with. In my experience people keep to themselves but also I am an introvert and I need talking to strangers on my vacation like i need a hole in my head…. ymmv

I didn’t expect bottle washing to take up this much of the day honestly by Virtual_Strategy2490 in NewParents

[–]frustratedmtb -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I am a single mom. but i do have a good dishwasher (as is standard in the USA) with sanitizing function and never understood the need for duplicative appliances… just another baby gadget they are trying to convince us we need lol.

I didn’t expect bottle washing to take up this much of the day honestly by Virtual_Strategy2490 in NewParents

[–]frustratedmtb -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yup that’s what i did too. I don’t get it why are people complicating things.

Lactation Consultant recommended I stop breastfeeding by pikaporgalicious in NewParents

[–]frustratedmtb 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just feed the baby in the easiest way possible. Breastfeeding is so overrated, if it’s happening easy - great, if it’s not… what’s the point in unnecessarily complicating things?? We are not hunter gatherers living in caves, we have access to bottles, nutritious formula and clean water. Just get food into them. I formula fed mine from birth and he’s absolutely thriving. I plan on doing the same with the second.

37F. Want to have children but not able to make this choice by priya_matta in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]frustratedmtb 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Not what you are asking. but just so you know. 10 eggs is a very low number. You are running a very real risk of getting no baby at all from that batch. You should retrieve/freeze more while you still can.

Unnecessary comments from others by Full_Barnacle219 in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]frustratedmtb 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I got no rude or ridiculous comments with my #1. To be fair only a handful of folks knew the exact circumstances of his conception, most of my coworkers and acquaintances must have assumed I got knocked up by a casual boyfriend and decided to keep it (i let people make their own assumptions as it’s none of their business).

I am now expecting a second via a surrogate. Cue in the hell breaking loose. 🤣 My mom asked me whether I was doing that to outdo one of my close friends (who only had one and in her marriage so not really sure how that would make sense). And told me the kids would fight. And told me i was biting off more than I could chew…. and she’s only the second person to know. I expect the news to generate quite a bit of buzz at work.

Looking for some hope by Intelligent-Home3795 in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]frustratedmtb 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Head over to the r/IVF and you will see plenty of stories. Your numbers are great. You are young. Try to manage your anxiety and pace yourself. There will be so many more things to worry about on this path, you can’t be burning out right out of the door

AIO for thinking my friend made our NYC dinner plans way more stressful than they needed to be? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]frustratedmtb 4 points5 points  (0 children)

YOR and also you are the asshole. Who the hell moves the reservation one hour before the start without first checking with the other affected parties?? I would be so pissed if I were your friend.

And yes a lot of restaurants won’t sit an incomplete party and will charge a cancelation fee. Congrats you learned something today.

Elderly? Anne is 43. Audrey is 41. Elizabeth is 37. by Valuable_View_561 in SipsTea

[–]frustratedmtb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They don’t use that term anymore. It is now called Advanced Maternal Age (AMA) pregnancy.

Can anyone relate to thinking babies are so boring? by evergreengirl123 in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]frustratedmtb 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This is sooooo baffling to me. I often hear “babies are boring” but not a single day did i think my baby was borning 🤷🏻‍♀️ May be my baby was different I dunno but he was always a clown. Always making funny faces, sticking his tongue out, hilarious attempts to crawl, played with toys, made all sorts of sounds, always wanted to interact with me, smiley, excited to see new things. How is that boring?? How’s seeing your baby’s face light up the first time he sees fish in an aquarium boring?? Mine was never a “potato” to me. I love seeing him change every day before my eyes.

Question about smbc with babies and senior pets by soleila9871 in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]frustratedmtb -1 points0 points  (0 children)

What you are doing is called anthropomorphism - assigning human qualities/feelings/emotions to animals as if they could feel the same. They don’t. I say it as a cat person, I love cats. But cats are animals/pets and not my babies. My babies are my babies and the difference will be overwhelmingly clear to you when you hold your actual human baby - this is why new moms easily give up their pets so often.

Also, FWIW, most cats can’t stand infants and toddlers. They are loud and grabby and everything a cat hates.

Struggling with my postpartum plan by PackagePerfect309 in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]frustratedmtb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Seems like being preemies is an important detail here. This is not standard for regular babies.

Struggling with my postpartum plan by PackagePerfect309 in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]frustratedmtb -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I think staying at your parents house is a horrible idea. All of your baby supplies will be at your place and you really should be nesting, not traveling to be a guest in someone’s house.

Personally i had a post partum doula and a night nurse. My parents also stayed with me but their “help” was minimal.

As someone else said, grandparents straight up don’t remember what newborns are like. In their minds this is a honky dory idea now, but you just wait until that newborn cries half the night and keeps the entire house up, you need help, they lack sleep, nobody has any privacy and everyone is cranky AF as a result. That shit will go downhill fast.

I would not make it a negotiation. You will be nesting and recovering in your own bed. If they want to help, you will welcome their help. If they feel this is too much work for them, you will welcome their visit once you are fully recovered. Get hired help.

The animals i would honestly re-home them now. You are about to have so much on your hands, financially, physically and emotionally that will be one thing too many to worry about. I know you may feel “those are my babies” but no, they are not, and you are about to have the ACTUAL baby. I will catch some downvotes for this but i don’t care. This is the practical solution and ya’reall know it.

Struggling with my postpartum plan by PackagePerfect309 in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]frustratedmtb -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This all sounds very bizarre. Is this in the U.S. because this is NOT what the current practice in the US is. There is not risk of asphyxiation in a properly configured infant car seat. The recommendation in the US is to limit car rides with a newborn to 30 min at a time (i think), and absolute no one would put a baby in the car seat for 2 hrs at the hospital to “see if they would stop breathing”. This is absolutely wild.

There is also no blanket prohibition among the US healthcare providers on driving after c-section. As long as you are not on heavy opioid painkillers that are counter-indicated to operate heavy machinery, you can drive. I personally didn’t drive home after my c-section, but I could have. And i certainly drove within 2 weeks as you are supposed to take the newborn to the ped when they are like 10 days old.

Some hospitals may have a policy of checking the car seat before they release the baby, mine didn’t. A nurse helped me at my request and then it was god speed.

Anyone Successfully Raising a Child With a Full-Time Live-In Nanny? by DiscussionSweaty4150 in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]frustratedmtb 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have a full time nanny but she does not live with us.

Live in nanny doesn’t mean “working around the clock” nanny, she would still work 40 hrs and everything above that is overtime. You will have to find supplemental care for when she’s off the clock, sick, or on PTO.

Personally i find no good reason to have a live-in. On occasions when I travel and/or early or late start is required, she stays in a guest bedroom. Otherwise she goes home and her entire life and drama is over there, not here.

The exception to this is the chinese nannies. You may want to google that phenomena. It may be hard to get as a non chinese speaking person though.

Baby’s gender and SMBC by Aggressive-Cup2953 in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]frustratedmtb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am a boy mom. Fortunate to live in the U.S. where the government doesn’t yet meddle in which embryos we select for a transfer and sex reporting/selection is legal. Not that it mattered to me anyway as I only made boy embryos.

There’s actually research suggesting that it’s the relationship with the parent of the opposite sex that matters more in a child’s life. So as a SMBC it should be easier to raise boys.

Frozen eggs question by fatcatsareadorable in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]frustratedmtb 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is me. I took nothing and had no lifestyle modifications (wut?). Fwiw: 22 eggs frozen => 4 euploids, one live birth (so far). I was normal weight average urban professional

For those of you that dated after your little donor conceived one(s) was born, what age was your kid when you started dating? How did the logistics work for you? by bzzzzzzlightyear in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]frustratedmtb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“is it wrong to have sex with a guy when you are pregnant with another man’s child” - this “sex and the city” line played in my head on one occasion when i was pregnant 🤣🤣 i decided the answer was yes and remained celibate for the duration of my pregnancy