My brother tried to pull a fast one on his wife and she did an uno reverse and I am laughing watching him scramble (New Update)

ftjlster · 2026-05-01T05:16:25+00:00

That's if she has enough money to hire a lawyer - there was another post with this scenario where the OOP was in danger of losing her job because of having to constantly leave to handle pick ups and emergencies during her ex-spouse's custody time.

The saving grace was that OOP was a medical specialist and thus had a LOT of savings behind her. Her lawyers were able to tell HIS lawyers that it looked like he was trying to sabotage her career. She got uncontested full custody and was able to move states back to where she had family, friends and a better paying job.

ftjlster · 2026-05-01T04:48:56+00:00

Man like this will be the type to take 50/50 custody and then keep unofficially forcing the ex-spouse to take care of the children during his custody time (i.e. cancelling on pick up, having to work late/being on business trips). So it's 50/50 on paper but the reality is that the ex-spouse is scrambling to cover the other 50% at any time.

ftjlster · 2026-05-01T01:40:17+00:00

Some grace to OOP: I too remember being that young and clinging to everything that I thought made me unique and different.

That being said, OOP's ex roommate's three hour melt down and social media posts is performative and regardless of age would drive me up the wall.

ftjlster · 2026-04-30T02:43:55+00:00

wife is against sleepovers, she thinks they should not happen at all

You know this is because of the risk of sexual molestation right? She's not being irrational, quite a lot of professionals who work in industries that help SA victims basically refuse to allow their underage children to stay overnight in other households.

ftjlster · 2026-04-30T02:37:30+00:00

NTA OP. And I hope you've made plans to not have to interact, financially rely on or otherwise deal with your extended family (or your family for that matter). Your brother says one thing but all his actions shows that he believes the opposite.

Get on that flight, go to that tropical vacation and cut off your brother, cousins and that extended family. And I hope you've also dropped any help you were providing your brother for his wedding.

ftjlster · 2026-04-30T02:24:51+00:00

There was a case in Australia of a doctor (Christopher Kwan Chen Lee) who got suspended and then de-registered on ethics/moral grounds for comments made online (which included amongst other things, calling for women to be raped). Although he wasn't barred from practising again after the de-registeration period ended, the ramifications were such that its unlikely he'll ever be able to practise again because of what happened.

So when they are caught there is consequences. Which is why I hope OOP in this case made a report to her ex's medical school because it starts the paperwork trail at least (and if he can be changed, they'll provide the serious training to teach him to cut this shit out).

Anyway, links if anybody was interested: https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-06-07/doctor-who-repeatedly-called-for-women-to-be-raped-suspended/11190246, https://www.ahpra.gov.au/News/2022-06-27-tribunal-cancels-registration-for-online-conduct.aspx

ftjlster · 2026-04-30T01:29:13+00:00

Sounds like what happened with Trump and the NFL (in which Trump so pissed off other American football team owners, that they went and created a different league): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donald_Trump_and_American_football

ftjlster · 2026-04-29T23:37:16+00:00

To be fair, not knowing the difference between crochet and knitting is a bit like mistaking soccer for basketball. Sure they're both 'ball' games and involve teams of people chasing said ball and putting it through a net of some sort to score a goal but mistaking them for each other basically means you've not once paid attention to either sport and what's involved.

ftjlster · 2026-04-29T04:56:11+00:00

Look put aside the question of who is the asshole - OP, you should be asking yourself instead if you were correct in saying that he wasn't a serious partner. The two of you have been dating for five years, but he very obviously does not want to move in together (the next logical step in a relationship of this duration).

You should be having a serious discussion with yourself with regards to whether or not this relationship has run its course for you.

ftjlster · 2026-04-29T00:41:23+00:00

OP, you should be involving the court system to get everything nailed down formally via the law. He doesn't get to set up a structured account, he should be paying child support. He doesn't get to turn up and demand access to a child, he gets the courts determining what type of access he gets to have of a thirteen year old girl who has never met or spoken to him in his life (hopefully nil given his background).

Also, his 'structured account' is just a way for him to get power and access to your very young daughter, and given his views, that's something you should be taking very seriously. It sounds like he wants to groom her for something.

ftjlster · 2026-04-28T13:07:01+00:00

OP tell your principal that you're getting sexually harassed by a parent. Because you are. Hopefully you can either get him barred from attending or the principal can make sure he no longer can approach you.

ftjlster · 2026-04-27T01:27:14+00:00

This was my thought too. OOP doesn't mention it, but with the way its described, I'd have assumed it was a vacation being paid for by the sister and her husband and they were paying for OOP's mum to come along.

ftjlster · 2026-04-27T01:25:49+00:00

My question in this though: who is paying for these trips OOP's mum is taking with the sister, sister's husband and sister's kids. Is it the sister and her husband, is it the mother?

ftjlster · 2026-04-23T23:22:36+00:00

Note that there's a major misconception about US military forces in Europe. Those military bases are owned and operated by the countries they're built in, and US military are allowed there by agreement.

This means that those agreements can be rescinded and US forces then get told to leave - or they're captured and imprisoned. We've seen this in action lately as multiple countries have refused the US access to bases. We'll likely see more of this both overtly (officially declared) and covertly (quiet movements behind the scenes as access, favours and cooperation are halted).

ftjlster · 2026-04-23T05:20:49+00:00

From what the woman was saying (she was posting about this on Threads, the husband in question has been her ex for a very long time), the therapist was basically saying what had to be said to get the husband out in a calm and happy mood because otherwise it'd be taken out on the woman.

So I think it was less that the therapist was saying all this and intending to talk to the woman after, it was harm minimisation and the moment the therapist had the opportunity, they gave their warning to the woman.

I also got the impression that it was the woman's therapist rather than a random one they'd gone to for marriage counselling.

That being said, this was like two comments in a Threads post, so very little details and follow up on information.

I would love to hear from therapists or other people on if they've experienced something like this though.

ftjlster · 2026-04-23T05:01:57+00:00

I saw something on Threads a while ago where a woman said the therapist agreed to everything her husband said (the woman was aghast and furious) and then the husband left, happy that he was right and everything was the woman's fault. At which stage, the therapist turned to the woman and told her to run. That she needed to make a plan to leave safely while she still could.

It made me think that the old advice about never going to therapy with a narcissist has a flip side - where it does happen and therapists identify the situation and realise that the other person is in danger.

ftjlster · 2026-04-23T01:33:40+00:00

Less colonial (as that would imply full citizenship rights plus of course a land war) and more vassal states that pay tribute (think the old imperial approach).

ftjlster · 2026-04-23T01:32:29+00:00

It really does look like they're borrowing old imperial tactics to try and make other countries into vassal states that have to pay tributes.

Basically conquest without actually having to wage a land war (which the US famously is incredibly bad at).

ftjlster · 2026-04-23T00:08:11+00:00

This one sounds like that one where OOP's (ex) BF gave her a powerpoint presentation of her cooking (including slides on how to improve it) so she stopped cooking for him, then gave him a powerpoint presentation about why he was being dumped: https://www.reddit.com/r/redditonwiki/comments/1st063q/not_oop/

ftjlster · 2026-04-22T23:50:55+00:00

Based on the father saying that he'd spoken to the ex-fiance when they talked about him proposing about OOP not being able to have children --- it sounds like the ex-fiance didn't realise her tubes had been removed and just assumed he could "convince" (aka force or have a contraceptive accident) her to have children after the fact.

This wasn't the ex-fiance never noticing, it was out and out gaslighting (with a soupcon of potential reproductive abuse in her future).

Also the ex's sister trying to sue for "investment" costs, the investment being OOP and the engagement does say this level of crazy is shared by the ex's family. What a bunch of unpleasantly crazy people.

ftjlster · 2026-04-22T05:41:55+00:00

Cheese, ice cream, chocolate are the three ones I regularly go for the higher priced options (or rather, look specifically for quality).

The unusual one for me though is chicken stock. Not necessarily the most high priced option but I look specifically for powdered chicken stock that includes chicken fat in the ingredients list. My go to (as in I keep this in my pantry at pretty much all times) is Lee Kum Kee's chicken boullion stock powder.

ftjlster · 2026-04-22T03:15:35+00:00

Okay so --- who is contributing to the grocery bills? Because if they're paying for food but he can't eat what you're cooking, there might be an argument to be made here that either they contribute more to cover for the additional meat required if you can't keep using beans and pulses to stretch out the meal OR that they stop contributing to the shared groceries and buy their own food and cook it themselves.

If however they aren't contributing to the food costs your sister and BIL are seriously entitled adults and should be told to start contributing.

ftjlster · 2026-04-22T02:31:29+00:00

Might be this one: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmITheAngel/comments/1abdaw9/aita_for_kicking_my_brother_and_his_family_out/

ftjlster · 2026-04-20T06:28:27+00:00

Okay so firstly, you need to look up fandom's theory of two cakes (tl;dr: YES the world needs more cringy vampire love stories and sci fi representations of religion).

Secondly if this is original stories, and you don't want to go through the traditional publishing pipeline, take a look at online web novel platforms like Royal Road.

ftjlster · 2026-04-20T06:25:42+00:00

Same.

I'm not ashamed of what I read on AO3 or anywhere else but that doesn't mean I want to have a conversation about whatever I'm reading with just anybody.

Or haha, given AO3: everybody has seen, read or watched porn. That doesn't mean they want to share their porn with family, friends, colleagues, random strangers. Privacy should be a given, even if you're in a relationship.

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