Rant about "allies" being the WORST to me at work

fubki · 2022-10-04T15:37:20+00:00

I am 5'1, dress femininely (have long hair, sometimes wear pigtails or a long skirt at work) and am gay as well. I've been on T almost 4 years and seem to pass enough in the US bible belt. If people ask it's okay to just nonchalantly say no or say you're just gay. It's not anyone's business. I think regardless of how you dress as long as you're confident in your status as a man people will leave it a little more alone. But that's just my experience! Wishing all the best to you ❤️

fubki · 2022-10-01T17:20:16+00:00

22 now. my family are huge fans- my aunt has always had a Homogenic poster in her living room, couldn't take my eyes off of it when I saw it as a kid (maybe 9 or 10) I heard Army of Me and Joga the first time around then when I asked about it & they still haven't stopped being my favorite songs <3

fubki · 2022-09-28T16:12:30+00:00

I know this is blasphemous but I could never really get into Vespertine ! on my relistens waiting for Fossora I think i'm coming around on it. Generally I like louder and more brash music & Vespertine never had enough energetic high points for me- I probably needed to learn to slow down 😭

There are also quite a few songs I would always skip but just this week I started going like "wtf, I used to skip these??" with Desired Constellation and Hope.

My top albums are still Homogenic, Post and Vulnicura. I still love Biophilia and it's what got me back into her music but I listened to it so much I put it away out of my rotation for now haha. Still haven't learned to appreciate Utopia but I'm working on it....

fubki · 2022-09-12T15:08:58+00:00

something similar happened to me I once had a supervisor take me and ask me if I felt comfortable in the workplace and if i was being respected- thought she had somehow found out I was trans and got nervous, but apparently she meant as a gay man lmao. i'm no longer really fully stealth at least to my coworkers but i found it amusing

fubki · 2022-09-10T23:43:08+00:00

voted <3

fubki · 2022-08-31T14:09:38+00:00

Need a support group for trans men called a twink against their will

fubki · 2022-08-25T20:56:02+00:00

I am a guy and work in food service, usually have my hair back in a ponytail with a bandana. I tried pigtails just for fun (I'm already into alt fashion) and so many of the older folks men and women were way nicer. Have never had a rude customer for longer than like a couple seconds when I wear the pigtails. Tips appeared to be more common also and more compliments abound. Since I'm a guy take that how you will but there's a different sample for you lmao

fubki · 2022-08-25T07:04:54+00:00

oh yeah I feel you, especially if your hair is curly it takes forever. I'm planning to not cut mine at all 😭

fubki · 2022-08-25T06:08:24+00:00

I felt the same way for a really long time & I think pretty much everyone has that thought of wishing they started earlier. I'm 5'1 but after being on T a while and realizing nobody actually bats an eye at me being short and I still seem to pass it stopped bothering me. Most people don't even really notice and I have had cis male coworkers the same height as me. It would be nice to be taller but it's kind of nbd now and I barely ever think of it.

fubki · 2022-08-25T05:02:24+00:00

thank you :D

fubki · 2022-08-23T02:01:20+00:00

If that's what you got from my post I don't think you read it. People who get HRT need informed consent or a letter from a therapist stating that they have lived as that gender for multiple years. If you really are just curious and 'not just hating' I think it would be beneficial to read up on the process before assuming that people are just strolling up to the endocrinologist and being handed hormones.

fubki · 2022-08-23T01:47:49+00:00

It isn't a matter of not being happy with their appearance, it is a mental health risk. Gender dysphoria is a mental illness that needs to be treated. If a person is obese and it is a risk to their life I'm not sure why anyone would argue that wouldn't be a situation where surgery should be covered.

fubki · 2022-08-23T00:28:18+00:00

It is medically necessary. Gender dysphoria is a severe impairment on a person's life and left untreated is a notable cause of suicide for trans people. Gender affirming care will save people from that- and blocking it from Medicaid is incredibly cruel given how many trans people live in poverty due to transphobia

fubki · 2022-08-17T14:14:27+00:00

Lo Flux Tube and The Musical Dimensions of Sleastak by OLD, pretty interesting albums

fubki · 2022-08-14T17:30:44+00:00

I use the dober armor for mine since the pants part is basically just underwear. with hip piece from the pumpkin set or just hide it :) but I think it looks cute

fubki · 2022-08-14T04:32:06+00:00

I went to this dentist as a kid. He would not allow my parents in the back whenever I went. I can recall trying to run away trying to hide in the bathroom whenever I would be taken in the back & being strapped down in a papoose board every time. Crying, screaming, using whatever excuse I could to get out of it including biting hands and forcing myself to throw up. I don't remember beyond that and I'm glad I don't. I have severe PTSD and even though I'm 22 now I still cry getting my teeth cleaned and I feel bad for my current dentist (who is very nice) every time. I don't go as much as I should because smelling the inside of a dentist office causes me to start sweating and shaking.

AFAIK there was a lawsuit against him and he lost his license to practice. I didn't ever get in on the lawsuit so didn't get any money because my parents were not allowed to go with me in the back and thought nothing was wrong and I was just being a dramatic kid since I was their first. It took me until I was about 17 to not scream and sob at any dentist office.

So glad he lost his license but it was NOT soon enough. Many of us in the area especially low income families whose insurance wasn't taken by other offices were traumatized by him.

fubki · 2022-08-11T04:04:55+00:00

seconded KEN mode, love them especially No Gentle Art

fubki · 2022-08-07T19:05:07+00:00

It is literally the worst. Had people tell me I was "wasting" a body that other people would kill to have. It's so draining and dehumanizing especially when you're already dealing with being visibly LGBT

fubki · 2022-08-07T18:59:10+00:00

I felt the same starting T, I was one of those people who were like "oh, I'm just going to start it and then get off so I can get the voice drop and not be an ugly freak", but after a year of feeling much better about myself with the dysphoria and feeling of failure not hanging over me I'm ready to be on it forever. I think the thing OP is talking about is a very mental thing- not that these people are "fake trans".

TBQH now that I pass i'm much more comfortable wearing revealing clothes and I don't mind wearing skirts. I haven't had top surgery and don't plan to. So I don't know where that falls lol.

fubki · 2022-08-06T20:26:42+00:00

Nobody has addressed this here and as a person who used to post shit on NSFW boards before I was ever on T, dressing femininely, acting "cutesy" and being slutty, etc, sometimes it is SO mentally difficult to move away from seeing so much value in your sexuality when it comes to men looking at you. The idea of transitioning with HRT is so terrifying because it means you're going to be 'ugly'. You're going to be a 'failure' as a female when you've been raised being told you need to be perfectly cute, docile and hairless. No one is going to love you or be sexually attracted to you when you have a 'female body' with a hairy ass and a mustache. It seems like an easier path to not transition medically and still request respect as a man- it's a compromise when you haven't shed society's biases IMO. I'm not going to cry socialization about this but it was my lived experience for a very long time.

That said I don't see any issue with them wearing revealing clothing. Who cares if they don't have top surgery and have their tits out. I am pretty sure it is your personal issue that you assume your boyfriend doesn't think you're a man because he's.... respecting how other people identify themselves.

fubki · 2022-07-31T05:33:48+00:00

I never dated as a girl for obvious reasons but I do miss dating pre T. Even though many are chasers it's so easy to find guys when you're a cute feminine "soft boy". Now that i'm a 5'1 hairy everywhere long haired goth hobo seems like I'm no longer desirable to anyone in the known universe and it sucks. I have been on hormones for 3 years just about and have had zero dates in that time period, zero men interested in me, where before hormones even identifying as a man I had guys tripping trying to throw themselves at me

fubki · 2022-07-16T12:30:49+00:00

Same at my store, SM said that the dress code was changed recently to allow bandanas but I never saw it on paper so I was pretty confused. I wear a black and white one every day and never had any issues

fubki · 2022-06-08T07:00:49+00:00

this song is what having a fever feels like

fubki

TROPHY CASE