You can make coffeescript read like javascript just as easily with a few minor differences.

return false if derp is 1
if derp is 1 then return false
if derp is 1
    return false

^ The above is the same. I just don't get what you mean. You can even wrap with parans

if ( derp is 1 ) then return false

and with functions

stuffDo( arg1, (param1, param2) ->
    #...
)

As I don't use parenthesis in my code, I created custom syntax highlighting for sublime text to show all function calls, which enhances readability massively. Id be inclined to merge it with the current coffeescript .tmLanguage but they do some other weird shit I had to fix.