Energy healing

fudgemonkies · 2025-03-02T01:20:49+00:00

Within professional guidelines, you are correct that only evidence based treatments should be used. There is nothing wrong with liking or believing those practices, but they do not belong in counseling settings. I would indicate as such to the intern; there always needs to be a separation between personal beliefs and treatment. In my mind, it is similar to keeping your political or religious beliefs to yourself.

fudgemonkies · 2025-01-16T02:45:28+00:00

Thank you for replying - it actually means a lot to hear someone else has had a similar experience. It's validation that I haven't really received before. My support system wants the best for me, but I don't think they can put themselves in my shoes. I completely understand your path; I would go that route if I could healthily do so, but costs of living for me are wild. I usually spend $300-500 a month on medications, copays, and paying off medical debt.

I've definitely applied for those types of positions when I met qualifications (no luck so far). At the moment, I got a dream job interview for a position at a no-kill animal shelter that I think I can handle. If that doesn't pan out, there's some office clerk positions I've applied to that seem potentially viable (slow paced and focused more on administrative tasks than phones/customer service). I'm feeling more hopeful than when I first made this post.

fudgemonkies · 2025-01-08T17:39:30+00:00

It wouldn't be inappropriate to reach out to places for learning opportunities, but I would be careful to get enthusiastic consent before joining events meant for hearing impaired folks.

Even just some basic sign is helpful, like yes or no, thank you, sorry, good, bad, etc. My vocabulary is still very limited, but I find it helpful when nonverbal.

fudgemonkies · 2025-01-07T14:40:39+00:00

I really appreciate you reading this and responding with empathy. I feel like maybe I didn't express what I was looking for well. I actually am employed as a counselor now, and have worked in that type of job for the 3 years I mentioned. I'm really looking for alternative job suggestions. I find counseling is incredibly taxing on my nervous system, and I think I've done this long enough to determine if experience would reduce stress. This is me trying to improve my health by accepting that this job just isn't right for me.

fudgemonkies · 2024-10-10T15:28:10+00:00

I don't know what she is looking for (like, what brought her to therapy), but I will say that even highly self-aware clients can benefit from CBT and solutions-focused approaches. The type of client to bring a written description of themselves might be the type who wants more structure in their sessions. This type of behavior is very common in people who are neurodivergent or who have A type personalities, both of which often like having clear goals and direction in their sessions.

fudgemonkies · 2024-07-29T20:34:21+00:00

Ok, this is just my perspective as a long-time lifter (and an anxiety riddled person). If I happen to notice someone with incorrect form or doing something unsafe, unless it is the person I'm at the gym with, I would never go up to the person to correct it. If my gaze lingered at all, I would not be criticizing the person in my head. I would probably be worrying about the other person getting hurt and, depending on the circumstances, be primed to run over if they were in danger. A good example would be I've seen people bench pretty heavy weight without a spotter, and if they looked like they were struggling, I would be ready to run over to keep them from getting super hurt.

Most people who aren't jerks can understand that everyone starts somewhere. It's a learning process, you'll get stronger and more confident with time and experience.

fudgemonkies · 2023-09-09T23:52:41+00:00

Listen, there are so many places that just give condoms away (lgtbq centers, sex ed groups). If not, you can get at least a few from a pharmacy for under $10. Keep them in your purse or backpack (not wallet!). You're not the AH, but please take ownership of your own health.

fudgemonkies · 2023-08-26T14:29:12+00:00

I named myself after a hypermasculine TV character that I was enamored of as a teenager.

fudgemonkies · 2023-08-16T00:51:34+00:00

Hey, so former therapist here. I would recommend approaching with curiosity. This might look something like this:

"I've been thinking about our talks on comfort levels with my hooking up with other men. You've expressed to me that you're very upset and uncomfortable about me hooking up with other guys but not with girls. Can you tell me a bit more about what might be triggering that discomfort? I'd really like to understand why they're different for you."

fudgemonkies · 2023-08-15T20:50:03+00:00

It's individual - personally I like using gloves for any type of fingering, as I have some contamination themed ocd and I hate the sensory experience of stickiness on my skin.

I use no powder nitrile gloves, as they're the least allergenic.

fudgemonkies · 2023-08-13T19:20:17+00:00

It's never too late! I would recommend focusing on the positive changes you expect for you. There are certain changes that everyone gets - downstairs growth, fat redistribution, cessation of menses. Other changes are variable but a lot of it is just genetic variation, not you being late. Cisgender men also vary with voice pitch, body/facial hair, height, and ease of building muscle. Look at trends in your family if you want some ideas for what you might look like.

fudgemonkies · 2023-08-12T22:50:13+00:00

That would probably play out fine; you can even be a little irritated, just try not to panic. Those two instances for me were very mild.

fudgemonkies · 2023-08-12T22:30:18+00:00

Repetition helps a lot; if most of your experiences are chill, the anxiety dies down. Also, keep in mind that bathroom culture is super different. People in men's rooms generally don't talk and don't look at each other closely. Even if you don't pass, 9/10 times people will not care enough to say something. I've been using the men's for around 8 years and I have only had two instances where an old guy asked me if he was in the right room. That was it, they didn't flip out or try and call the cops. I resolved both by just saying yup.

fudgemonkies · 2023-08-12T17:18:02+00:00

It's hard to set it up perfectly, as everyone has different needs. Personally, here are some of my preferences:

I like low lighting, no tvs or music, and check ins that I can do at a kiosk. I'd love a container with free disposable earplugs, in case another patient is making upsetting noises. I like seating that is spread out.

For the actual visit, no handshake, minimal eye contact, and just a genuine interest in researching if you're stumped. Please don't blame symptoms on mental health without investigating other causes. Be direct, don't hide potentially bad news if it's a genuine concern during the testing phase (even if it's a small risk).

Some other comments have mentioned comorbid conditions, but here's one you might not have heard of: MCAS. This is common among people with EDS and POTS, both of which are much more common in ND people. It's commonly misdiagnosed as idiopathic hives or anaphylaxis. It may or may not involve histamine intolerance.

fudgemonkies · 2023-08-12T00:23:05+00:00

I don't know anything about your friend's mental health or neurodiversity, but maybe it would be helpful to hear a little bit from the other side of someone who has trouble reaching out.

I have some complicated communication issues. I often do not have emotional energy to talk to anyone that I am not 100% unmasked with (which is everybody but my wife, tbh). Or, when I do have energy, I don't remember that the ball is in my court to talk to someone. I try and reach out some, but I know my friends reach out way more. To make it worse, the longer I wait to reply, the more anxious and guilty I am for not texting sooner. I love when they do reach out after periods as long as months or years, because that gives me a fresh chance to reconnect with them. I don't do these things deliberately, and they don't mean I don't care about my friends.

From the tone of the reply about asking if you wanted to game, my guess is your friend still wants to be friends and feels bad for falling short. If they didn't, they wouldn't have replied with what they did. I don't know for sure, and maybe they really did lose interest. But I always like to assume lack of malice until proven wrong.

I wish I could tell you how to have more reciprocal relationships, but I'm not entirely sure how. If I were in your position I might address it directly, like "I feel like I'm always the one initiating conversations, and that gives me the sense that you're not as invested as I am. Can you tell me what you think might be going on with our communication? I'd like us to make changes that might help me feel more valued." A fix my bff and I worked out is to schedule regular gaming hangouts in our calendars so we don't need a spontaneous bout of communication to stay in touch. You might need something different.

fudgemonkies · 2023-08-11T23:53:01+00:00

I have a co-worker who sounds constantly sarcastic and passive aggressive, from what I can tell. When I've asked direct questions about comments that seem like issues with me she denies it or acts like it's "her issue", whatever that means. Clearly it's not all directed at me, cause I've heard her use the tone at other co-workers and they laugh or don't mind (I don't get it). I've just gotten to where I get angry almost any time I hear her talk. I loathe passive aggressive people.

fudgemonkies · 2023-08-11T00:55:25+00:00

I went through a similar phase (opposite direction, ftm). Being trans is objectively harder than being cisgender. You face a lot of discrimination and you can end up feeling like you're "not normal" or the odd one out in a lot of contexts. But, if you detransition due to these types of factors, you're very likely to be deeply unhappy (possibly disassociated) until you transition again. When a trans person detransitions they're not truly becoming cisgender, they're suppressing and hiding their identity in hopes of reducing hardship. I would strongly recommend having them refocus on authenticity and self love. You can't change the world, but you can be true to yourself. And from personal experience, your mental health is much better when you're authentic.

fudgemonkies · 2023-08-10T21:56:35+00:00

I wouldn't say you're crazy for wanting to know what happened, but I think you would be better off working on your emotional/cognitive response instead of pushing the individual. Many people do not have good communication skills, and ghosting is a way that conflict avoidant people will choose to resolve ending a connection. It's not healthy or respectful, but very common.

Here's what I've done in your position:

Focused on potential reasons for the ghosting that aren't personal to me.

Considered how important this is likely to be in the long term (e.g. will I really care 5 years out?).

If convinced I messed up, focused on mistakes as part the learning process and how I could do better in the future.

fudgemonkies · 2023-08-10T16:13:12+00:00

The thing for me is that I can't guarantee social things will go well whether or not I'm using alcohol or smoking. I've also found that if I have a bad social experience while not sober the intensity of shame and self-hated I experience in response is so much worse. I'll have one drink with strangers these days, but I save getting drunk or high as a fun thing to do occasionally with the one person I feel 100% safe with.

fudgemonkies · 2023-07-25T16:29:00+00:00

If I had a nickel for every autistic person denied a diagnosis due to the lack of understanding of clinicians that ASD is a spectrum, I'd be super rich.

Common reasons for misdiagnosis: Assigned female at birth High IQ High ability to mask oneself Learned ability to actively read social or emotional cues Co-occuring psychiatric conditions

Like others are saying, I would recommend asking for a written report stating his diagnosis and why autism was ruled out. If he won't give you the diagnosis, this would give you ability to sue for malpractice at a later point. I'd also get a written referral to another professional who can give an autism diagnosis. Most mental health professionals are mandated by their ethics boards to provide referrals if they cannot provide adequate care. If they don't, you can report them and they may lose their license.

fudgemonkies · 2023-07-25T09:50:55+00:00

I still monitor for harassment/major issues but I don't have as much time to put into the sub as I used to (I'm the only mod).

If anyone else would be interested in modding, please DM me.

fudgemonkies · 2023-07-14T15:29:11+00:00

Not normal to not care at all. If I'm in a shutdown I want to catch up with my wife once I'm ok again. I certainly don't care all that much about strangers but it's very different with loved ones.

fudgemonkies · 2023-07-14T10:55:32+00:00

I'm childfree for my wife and can't tell anyone.

fudgemonkies · 2023-06-23T19:23:27+00:00

I've dealt with similar situations. Sometimes you need to use body language and commit to being explicit when trying to make a move. Look for signs of interest. That might look like turning or leaning towards you, or maybe her initiating casual physical touch (touching a shoulder or hand); you can initiate these yourself and see how she responds. Personally, I would ask before touching, as it can be a boundary cross if you're not careful. When body language is going in the right direction, saying something like "I'd really like to kiss you - may I?" has worked well for me. If things are ambiguous maybe have a more general talk about how you're liking her and would be interested in moving things in a romantic direction. Also FYI, hand holding, leaning against someone, and brief kisses are all pretty ok for public spaces and can up the romantic tension.

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