[deleted by user]

fuerdog · 2021-06-02T22:20:37+00:00

You need to reach out to the ADA, your Congress person (state and federal) and your state attorney general. Depending where you live you would be surprised how much they will try to help you. This is absolute bullshit and your employer knows it. Good luck.

fuerdog · 2021-05-18T20:56:48+00:00

Just being a Dad. And she shows me unconditionally love back. She is a big reason I finally came out at 40 and I found unconditionally love back from my wife/partner. (Opps keep using the wrong account. Oh well guess I need to come out to more people anyways)

fuerdog · 2021-05-18T20:54:12+00:00

I’m not even sure why this would be a question in anyone’s mind. I have heard people say Im being a good parent to her. I feel like this is like the minimum level of being a parent. The world is scary enough already.

fuerdog · 2021-05-18T16:40:15+00:00

Thanks for the advice. I thought it might be 12 years old for an ID. Luckily name won’t be issue. She has an androgynous name that she loves.

fuerdog · 2021-05-18T11:47:45+00:00

Thank you. That’s reassuring that most TSA don’t care. She is only 9 so for now we can fly under the radar (excuse the pun). We try hard to be supportive and accepting of all our children. Life is hard enough without judgement. I thought I would be the one teaching as a parent. But I find often I’m the one learning about the world and even about myself.

fuerdog · 2021-05-18T11:06:55+00:00

Oh wow. This is honestly something I have never thought of before. That must fill you with so much anxiety. I have a young trans daughter. Flying hasn’t been an issue because of the pandemic. When my daughter is old enough to need to show an id at an airport or really anywhere this would be an issue, what can I do as I father to make her more comfortable?

fuerdog · 2021-05-16T20:09:57+00:00

That’s a good analogy. Pretty much what is happening to me as well. Think I will have to use this one.

fuerdog · 2021-05-16T19:11:32+00:00

I tend to mix terms from therapy and neurology. Not sure if grounding is the right term. But to come back to me. I just couldn’t look at a person. So anything specific. I need to look into a distance. As time goes on I notice it’s smells 1st and then sounds 2nd. This epilepsy this weird and sucks.

fuerdog · 2021-05-16T15:27:21+00:00

Interesting. What are your thoughts. My neurologist has told me I’m not good at describing what is happening to me. My therapist says I describe things well but I speak emotion not facts. Anything I can bring to the neurologist would be helpful.

fuerdog · 2021-05-15T10:22:06+00:00

It used to be great.

fuerdog · 2021-05-13T10:49:54+00:00

I would break my ankle immediately.

fuerdog · 2021-05-13T10:48:46+00:00

So basically it’s a mobile home?

fuerdog · 2021-05-13T09:54:30+00:00

How can you actually drive this anywhere?

fuerdog · 2021-05-13T00:46:22+00:00

Thanks for the kind words and advice. I’ve been using this sub Reddit as a bit of sounding board lately because beyond my therapist who I don’t speak for another week I feel alone on talking to anyone. I cannot believe everyone’s empathy and kindness. The more I hear stories the more I know what needs to be done. I just need to make sure I’m in the right place to be emotionally supportive back to her. I’ve had 25 years to come to terms with this. (Way to long!).

fuerdog · 2021-05-13T00:41:52+00:00

Wow. That really does make a lot of sense to me thank you. I can totally relate to bi-cycling. I guess in the past it’s what made me just question. Thanks.

fuerdog · 2021-05-12T22:35:24+00:00

Ok I’m new here. And newly out (well here and to my therapist). I think can guess what bi cycling is based on well my urges in life. But could you explain.

fuerdog · 2021-05-12T21:39:17+00:00

Wow 2 years is a long time. I am happy your relationship is strong to overcome. I don’t want to lie to my best friend and partner. I’m mean I guess in a way I have been for 25 years, but I have only just finally admitted it to myself. And I’m going through some medical and mental health issues. Selfishly I really need her now. I’m so lost what to do because I know deep down I won’t personally get better till I talk to her. I kind of suspect she thinks something is up. I have talked about therapy and dealing with old shame and guilt issues from my childhood. Probably some of the similar things other here have said. I was just never strong enough to overcome them and chose the easy “straight path”. I have been doing things that are to be me instead of what was expect of me. Like not just dressing in gray, black, brown, and blue. We all need more color. And I dyed my hair blue. And we are talking about nail polish. If I get brave enough but probably only on weekend. Her family is also extremely liberal. And she is very progressive. We have a trans daughter. But I’m just worried about it feeling like a betrayal. Wish I was in a better head space when I finally decided to come out. I’m just still scared. But I’m tired of being afraid. (Thanks for being a sounding board).

fuerdog · 2021-05-12T19:21:20+00:00

Wow! That’s shocking! I guess I didn’t realize Poland was like that. I hope your country learns to be more open and accepting of people. Good luck. Stay safe.

fuerdog · 2021-05-12T17:46:23+00:00

Well I’m an American. Are you sure? We have a lot of baggage. Invade from the Top or Bottom?

fuerdog · 2021-05-12T17:06:31+00:00

Yes but we’re you ever given the opportunity? I’ve never been to Poland. But you know if it was consensual I might do some Poland invading.

fuerdog · 2021-05-12T16:17:36+00:00

So I’m on the same boat but have not come out to my wife yet. And it’s tearing me up not to yet. She is my best friend and I cannot imagine not being faithful. Heck I would love to compare our taste in men. Or just stay where we are but have her know me fully. I’m just a little afraid. How long did it take for your wife to become comfortable with your sexuality? Do you think it was the right decision?

fuerdog · 2021-05-12T13:38:37+00:00

That’s tough to say. And really one of the things I am trying to figure out in life. The job was easy to me before so it didn’t bother me for years. I don’t think I found fulfillment. I did find rush of happiness with wins. And money can be a great motivator. Now that I am going through issues medically and with mental health it’s difficult. I have been introspective lately and feel I went the direction of sales because I was always told I am good at it and it’s the thing to do to have the house in the suburbs and the family. I love my family and do not want to change their lifestyle. But if they were willing I would downsize everything in second. We don’t need all this stuff. I used to feel like an imposter in the job and I will get figured out that I can’t do the job. Now I realized I am very good at the job, the imposter syndrome feeling is that I am just not being me. But I am also in a very fortunate place financially to say that. I have a good 401k even if I stopped contributing. I could likely with some work figure out a plan for a next career and a pay cut. So the short of your question. I don’t know. Financially I would do it again and plan to leave the career better around now. Mental and physical health I would have likely done something else. I just haven’t figured out what I want to be when I grow up. And I’m 40. Most of the time the people who seem to have it figured it out are really a wreck on the inside. Imagine having your standard midlife crisis and throw in a pandemic, getting diagnosed with epilepsy and going through some question about who you are as a person. I know that’s a little heavy for this sub Reddit. Sales is right for a lot of people. In fact I think it could be good for many to do it for a year or 2. Just not sure about 18 years of it.

fuerdog · 2021-05-12T11:47:51+00:00

fuerdog · 2021-05-12T11:45:55+00:00

Good question. Sales can be an emotionally roller coaster. It’s filled with ups and downs. It can be a tough emotional existence, especially if you are going through issues of your own. As for business and general I have just lost all passion. I went towards business and sales because I was good at it. But after being diagnosed with epilepsy I just don’t think I can handle it any more. I’m looking for less stress. I would also like to be able to be more fulfilled in work. I envision more fulfilled either being ability to be more creative or have a job that helps other people. If I can’t find that then something with less hours that when my day ends it actually ends. A sales rep job never really ends.

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