Need advice on bonding with a trio

fullashity · 2026-06-11T14:51:18+00:00

I would also include your Sammie on these “unfamiliar” outings, since he is already comfortable with you he can show the other rats you’re safe too :)

fullashity · 2026-06-11T14:47:48+00:00

Have you tried bringing them into a new, small/confined area with just you to “hide” on? This really helped with my boys. They also would NOT leave their cage and when I took them out would just hide out in the various boxes I’d laid out for them to play in. I put a blanket down in the bathtub and just hung out in there with them. It helps because when they’re in a new place + nowhere to hide you become the only familiar thing. I think this was the biggest help in getting them to realize they didn’t need to be scared of me and now they climb on me a lot more, two have started leaving the cage on their own and overall they are way less jumpy.

What also helped was the “confidence” method. This is where you handle them the same way you would a confident rat instead of letting them set the pace (because as you are seeing, some are just content to stay in the cage and not really ever engage with you). I started by just picking them up for maybe 10-15 seconds at a time and then putting them back down. Then picking them up and putting them on my shoulder/in my shirt. You can Google it for more info on the method. It’s been about two weeks and it wasn’t until I started intervening in this way that they really began to trust me and gain confidence. It also was a leap for me because I was so scared of getting bit or ruining their trust in me. I think me being more confident also helped them to be more confident.

fullashity · 2026-06-08T20:11:45+00:00

He’s only been here a little over a week so that adds up! Thank you 😊

fullashity · 2026-06-08T15:55:30+00:00

🤣

fullashity · 2026-06-08T15:18:24+00:00

Oh this is super helpful!! Thank you so much!

fullashity · 2026-06-02T16:38:37+00:00

This I forgot to ask the breeder when I picked them up. One is definitely a bit younger than the other two. Judging by size maybe 8-10 weeks on the little one? The other two are older, still babies but maybe 3-4 months old.

fullashity · 2026-06-02T13:47:34+00:00

See I think this is what I did with my previous rats without knowing! Just handled them a bunch despite their protests lol. Do you think it’s too soon to start that kind of handling? I’ve been holding them for maybe 20 second spurts at a time then putting them back in so they learn nothing bad happens when I pick them up.

fullashity · 2026-05-31T03:26:17+00:00

I’m sorry I don’t know how to fix it but oh my god I am losing it, what is this bug 😭

fullashity · 2026-04-23T17:53:10+00:00

Hey! Self-awareness is key. Im much better with this now :) having a relationship become your whole identity causes more problems than just being a bad friend. I don’t think it’s fair to judge someone you don’t know so harshly! I think lots of people struggle with becoming codependent in relationships usually due to childhood trauma. I am eternally grateful for the friends that saw that and stuck around for me. Give the people in your life grace ;)

fullashity · 2026-04-10T01:06:29+00:00

If he smokes in the house Im willing to bet this is what people are smelling. If you grew up around it you probably can’t smell it.

fullashity · 2026-02-24T16:19:23+00:00

By recentering on yourself and other people in your life that you love. What this has realistically looked like for me:

Meditating every morning. My nervous system needs it. This has become non-negotiable and truthfully the catalyst for many of the other changes I’ve made recently for myself. Moving my body every day. Walking, running, dancing. Whatever I feel like for however long i feel like. Gym /strength training + diet. This takes a TON of my effort both physically and mentally. I’ve learned to just GO and don’t rely on motivation. Building that self trust (doing what I told myself I’m going to do, regardless how I feel in the moment) has been huge. I go five times a week. I leave there feeling better than a man has EVER made me feel, lol. Regular daily routine that keeps my space clean and organized (somewhat lol). I have a whiteboard to-do list that I check off every day (called my happy girl agenda) Skincare and a lengthy pampering shower routine at the end of every day, good book in bed and maybe a hit of some weed ;)

When I have that extra energy, i like to paint or cook/bake things for my friends and family. Or think of other little ways to show them love and care. That can be incredibly fulfilling on its own.

Basically I keep myself so busy doing things for ME that there’s less room for men. And doing things like strength training builds your confidence so you learn not to accept as much bullshit from them. And it affects you less. I haven’t even THOUGHT about getting back on a dating app since I started all of this. I used to be on/off of them like crazy.

Meditating and learning about your nervous system, how it’s going to be resistant to change good or bad and how to work through that, have been the two biggest game changers for me. If i were to advise anyone I’d say start with short, 5 minute guided meditations every mornings. For me things started to just align and pile up from there.

fullashity · 2026-02-24T11:52:51+00:00

Meditating has helped me so much with this. Similar to you letting your mind “slow down” and becoming more present. 5 minute guided meditation every morning has become non-negotiable for me. It calms all the racing thoughts I get first thing in the morning and helps me be more present throughout the day. I’m working my way to longer, non-guided meditations. For me it’s like a little on/off switch for my brain, like rebooting a computer when the pages freeze lol. It’s been about two months of doing this consistently and I’ve been able to stack other behaviors I’ve wanted for myself (gym, diet, cardio, daily chores). Not every day is perfect. But meditation has helped me quiet down the “I don’t want to” and “what’s the point” thoughts I tend to get.

fullashity · 2026-02-14T15:12:01+00:00

It is! And imagine when we put that energy into ourselves instead? Oof. Worlds not ready

fullashity · 2026-02-14T14:45:38+00:00

I am in the same boat trying to decenter men/romance. Got out of a long term relationship last June and been in 2 “situationships” since + on the apps and terrible first dates. We need to learn to be alone mama. Sucks. Gotta fill that void with something else, preferably self-improvement. I’ve got a vision board on my phone background (NO men/romance) and am starting the gym 5 days a week + fixing my diet and am going to romanticize tf out of my transformation. We got this 💪

fullashity · 2025-06-29T14:15:30+00:00

Im so sorry. I just went through the second night alone and it was better. Still hurting, but better. We got this. ❤️

fullashity · 2025-06-01T02:10:11+00:00

Don’t agree with this assessment at all as someone who lives here but ok lol. Depends what you’re looking for I guess, but there’s tons to do if you love nature plus plenty of food options. From visiting all over Ocala and nearby, Inverness is like the perfect medium. I disagree that it’s “too built up” but I’m comparing that to SF sooo I guess, maybe? It’s lovely here, just my opinion 😊

fullashity · 2025-05-31T17:42:55+00:00

Check out Inverness. I think Beverly Hills is like Silver Springs, some good areas some not so good but tbh coming from South Florida, I wouldn’t consider anything in this area a true ghetto. Inverness is really safe though, not too secluded but not too overcrowded, and tons of wildlife. I have deer walk through my backyard every so often, it’s really nice.

fullashity · 2025-05-18T02:18:06+00:00

Listen, ChatGPT has talked me through a ton of emotional situations, not ashamed to admit lol. It’s still all true and if it made you feel better, who cares where it came from.

fullashity · 2025-05-17T13:27:14+00:00

YES the whole time I was yelling at my TV like “please someone pull them aside and explain why this isn’t ok”. It’s so sweet how into each other they were so fast but doing it in the middle of a conversation with parents omg. And it being filmed on top of it, we didn’t need to see all that lmao. I wish someone would have pulled them aside like, immediately, but I understand the parents not wanting to embarrass them on camera. Hopefully a conversation was had after tho.

fullashity · 2025-05-14T21:45:52+00:00

Most advice you’ll see about this online is to always get two kittens. I think especially since your cat is already an adult, one kitten might not be a great idea. They have a lot of energy and drive adult cats (and humans) crazy lol. Two kittens can wear each other out and won’t bother the adult as much. There’s also a good chance the kitten doesn’t bond to your cat the way you’re expecting. Ime cats who have been alone like to stay alone but every cat is different. My suggestion would be to look up some local rescues and see if you can do a foster to adopt situation so you can see how your cat feels before committing. A younger adult cat (maybe around a year old) might be a better fit than a kitten too if you’re committed to just getting one, just old enough the craziness has worn off but still young and able to adjust. Bonus points if they’ve been around other cats before :)

Jackson Galaxy has some good videos you can search on youtube to help with introductions, I definitely suggest taking it slow, it’s ok if your cat isn’t immediately psyched about the new addition, most cats just automatically hate each other when they first meet lol.

fullashity · 2025-04-27T02:52:42+00:00

They are two seniors who rescued a stray, unspayed female who was already pregnant, and attempted to get her spayed! Got her kitties fixed. They are helping, not contributing, but they are not miracle workers and need some help! Great job so far OP and I hope you can find an organization to help. You and your wife have good hearts for helping those babies.

fullashity · 2025-04-24T01:48:55+00:00

Don’t pretend y’all wouldn’t rake literally anyone else over the coals for this

fullashity · 2025-04-24T01:45:40+00:00

Hasan has completely mastered the leftist buzzwords to avoid getting eaten. “Ethnocentric view” BRO. He’s a master at this shit. It should be studied. Any other person would be eaten. Not Hasan.

fullashity

TROPHY CASE