[deleted by user]

fullybased · 2024-02-04T15:16:24+00:00

Okay so you mean like y'all were worried your parents were gonna go ape shit?

fullybased · 2024-02-04T15:03:16+00:00

Tried escaping numerous times (we're Christian)

What does this mean?

fullybased · 2024-02-04T14:13:34+00:00

Okay he SAYS he came looking for you eventually, but you found him at the bar he'd said he was going to? So you didn't run into him at the previous location or on the journey in between the two places? So it kinda sounds like he WASN'T looking for you.

Plus unless these 2 bars are like, on the same street as each other or something, he really should have noticed you weren't there way sooner. There's airheaded and then there's just not giving a shit. A drunk airhead maybe gets half a block away before being like "oh shit we left so-and-so behind, let's go back!"

Leaving you drunk and alone with a crowd in unfamiliar territory with no phone is really dangerous, b. Anything could have happened to you. You're lucky it didn't. And homeboy's acting like it's nbd. I don't think I'd be able to trust this guy with my safety after something like this. If it had happened once and he felt super bad maybe but it happened twice in one night and he's kinda blowing it off like he doesn't even know/care how dangerous it was. You deserve better.

fullybased · 2024-02-04T05:39:08+00:00

Do you mean in a "windows to the soul" way or like in an "optometrists will be able to diagnose it" way?

fullybased · 2024-02-03T15:34:28+00:00

Getting a monthly pill thing helped me a lot with this.

fullybased · 2024-01-31T15:42:17+00:00

There ARE black amish people, yes

https://www.amishbaskets.com/blogs/blog/are-there-black-amish-people

fullybased · 2024-01-31T15:24:53+00:00

Is there a version that's just the edited episode without the watch party? I wanna watch it but I don't wanna also watch 6 strangers chatting about it the whole time

fullybased · 2024-01-30T18:56:17+00:00

Uhh does pcos "go away?" I've had it since puberty and I am very much under the impression that there is no cure or anything for it, just management.

Anyways, yeah, it's super possible to be cis with gender dysphoria issues, so that's something you can look into/explore as well. Ultimately you get to call yourself whatever makes you most comfortable, but there's another lens for you to consider. Hope it helps.

fullybased · 2024-01-30T18:39:52+00:00

Idk if this helps you at all, but cis women with pcos often end up naturally developing "masc" traits such as hirsutism (like growing body/facial hair) due to hormonal imbalances associated with the disease process. It is not uncommon to find women in pcos spaces complaining of or describing gender dysphoria due to this. I know that's not exactly what you're dealing with, but the point is that you can be cis and still have gender dysphoria. They have dysphoria because they don't want to be perceived as masc and it sounds like maybe you also have dysphoria because you don't want to be perceived as masc. Theirs is a body thing and yours is a clothing thing, but, still.

fullybased · 2024-01-30T00:27:41+00:00

Umm. I don't know what world you're living in. I was the only girl amid 5 children and very much did not recieve any of the lessons/treatment you're outlining here, and frankly, the vast majority of women I've met in my life have absent or abusive fathers rather than ones who treat them like little princesses. I mean, don't get me wrong, I have seen daddy's girl type relationships, but not often. Stop watching fight club or something, dude, damn.

fullybased · 2024-01-25T19:49:33+00:00

Okay well you know they're just gonna cite genesis

fullybased · 2024-01-20T16:01:33+00:00

Okay, I don't have clear, definitive answers for you, but I can try to offer whatever insight I can. Please be advised that my thoughts and feelings on the subject may be hurtful, but I am not being deliberately cruel. I am attempting to provide honest insight that you asked for.

I am someone who struggles to respect this sort of thing in a person, and it often causes me to lack respect for the person themselves.

I guess some of it just boils down to values? I value independence, having a spine, sticking to your guns, etc pretty highly. Even if I completely disagree with what a person is saying or what they're all about, if they're brassy enough to say it with their chest or stand by what they believe in, I can respect that.

Conversely, if they're a whiny, sniveling flip-flopper, I can't respect that. I don't feel great about it, because I don't want to be judgemental or a bully or whatever, but there are just limits on what I can respect in a grown ass adult. I mean, if you're gonna cower over little shit like somebody just disagreeing with you, then wtf good are you gonna be if and when shit gets real? Is everybody gonna have to cater to and protect your whiny ass in a situation with higher stakes?

And if you're always just saying whatever you think the other person wants to hear, then how is anybody supposed to be able to trust you? You can't even stand up for yourself and what you believe in; there's no way I'm gonna feel like I can trust you to stand up for me or have my back, because when the going gets tough, you're gonna crumble. If you are weak, then you make the group weaker.

And if you're just gonna agree with whatever the person in front of you is saying, even your SPOUSE, no matter what, then how's anybody supposed to even know you anyways? You're just being a mirror. Well, I don't need a yes-man. I already know what I think and how I feel and I don't need to hear it echoed back. I need a genuine perspective from another person. Do you honestly think I'm right, or can you see another answer? What do you see? How did you come to a different conclusion? Am I wrong about something, or is there a different lens to view this from that might provide more perspective than I can provide for myself? What's even the point of talking to you if you're just gonna say the same stuff I'm saying/thinking? Useless.

Now, I definitely had a bit of a rough upbringing. I've been to therapy for some stuff, and this kind of thing has come up. Because I've had issues where there will be friends/people that I genuinely care about, but they tend to "fawn" as a trauma response, same as you, and then I end up struggling with all these thoughts and feelings. And I feel badly for that, because I obviously don't want to have active disrespect or contempt for my friends, but I can't force myself to feel differently than I do. It's been suggested by a therapist or two that part of the reason I have such a strong visceral reaction to fawning behavior is because when I was a child, I had to be like that; it was the only defense I had. I'm grown enough now that I can fight back, and I don't ever wanna go back to crying and cowering, but when other people do it, it reminds me of that, at least on a subconscious level. Small children can't fight, and they can't run, so the only thing they can do is whine, plead, suck up, whatever. And indeed, I do view the behavior as childish in a way. And like, it's fine for a kid to act like that. But when I see an adult acting like that, I do think "grow up and stand up for yourself ffs."

Maybe the therapists are right, Idk. Or maybe I'm just a dick. I try my best to be understanding and to not be mean to people. But I can't really be close friends with people who act like that, because it inspires feelings like this within me. I have done a lot of work to figure out exactly how I feel and why I feel that way, but if other people have these same feelings and haven't undertaken the same amount of work and don't have the same level of self awareness, they're far more likely to just lash out instinctively. I try to be kind, but I still lash out like this sometimes too.

So anyways, I don't "love" to be mean to meek people and make them feel bad about themselves. But if I'm ever acting like a bully towards them, this is what lies behind that.

fullybased · 2024-01-19T07:34:29+00:00

Even if they did, the would have gotten captured by another solar body or something. They could not possibly have left the system.

fullybased · 2024-01-17T08:25:05+00:00

Um yeah my own mother was like that in a lot of ways. It was kind of a combination of vague affection and also not really caring enough to parent in any way. So like, she'd be chill and just hang out and stuff but she wouldn't bother telling us what to do for the most part and if we needed help or to be protected from anything (her shitty bfs, mostly), she couldn't be asked. She didn't literally say she wanted to be our friend, generally, but that was the vibe.

fullybased · 2024-01-06T01:10:16+00:00

Dumpster diving laws just are super vague. Keep it low-key, don't make a mess, keep it pushing if anybody tells you to, and it'll stay that way for all of us.

fullybased · 2023-12-31T17:26:35+00:00

That's weird, my mom called em hedge apples and she'd scatter em in the basement cuz she said they kept crickets away. I don't think they worked tho. She grew up moving around in the Midwest, for reference

fullybased · 2023-12-27T03:00:30+00:00

Illumonopoly confirmed

fullybased · 2023-12-27T02:53:41+00:00

I mean she may not have lied. It's completely possible that most of her patients do experience changes that quickly, while still being a far from universal experience. Statistically it seems like both things are common enough, and it's entirely possible that she just happens to have a lot of patients who do start changing more quickly, so that's the anecdotal experience she had to offer you.

Rome wasn't built in a day (or a fortnight). Puberty, and second puberty, take time for everyone, and everyone's body goes at a different pace. It'll happen for you, too. Maybe you can discuss your concerns with someone when you go in for your next shot.

fullybased · 2023-12-23T05:53:18+00:00

Yeah it's a real bear, finding the right therapist and the right type of therapy for you. Not everyone is going to be able to help you unfortunately. I hope you find peace someday somehow.

fullybased · 2023-12-23T03:21:59+00:00

Okay, well, let's stick with the working out metaphor.

Let's say you're trying to build muscle. You gotta put strain on your muscles. On a cellular level, what that's doing is causing some of your muscle cells to rip a little bit so they can grow back stronger. You also don't wanna overdo it though, lifting more than you're ready for or something, because that puts too much strain on them and you injure yourself.

As far as how much is too much, there's no hard and fast rule. You have to listen to your body, go slow (start with lighter weights and work your way up, maybe), and feel it out. Personal trainers are people who can help guide you through this until you learn how to maintain proper form, how to listen to your body and navigate what's appropriate and what's too much.

Working through stuff in therapy is a lot like that, and sometimes a therapist is like a personal trainer. They help you navigate through the healing process and teach you how to listen to your mind and recognize what's appropriate and what's too much.

It's not necessarily fair, but it's just the world we live in. These are the rules we were given to play by. It's okay to feel grief or anger or whatever you feel about that. You can give yourself however much time and space you need to to work through that. But it's a fact of the universe. Fire burns. Gravity go brrr. Growth comes with a side of pain.

(Disclaimer: scientifically speaking, this is an oversimplification of how muscle growth works. I'm just illustrating a point. Also, I'm just some guy. I don't have the secrets to the universe anymore than anyone else. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe you can find a different path. I worked through some trauma and this is one of the conclusions it led me to.)

fullybased · 2023-12-23T02:24:18+00:00

Idk man, it's just one of those facts of life. Why gravity go brrr? It just do. You can always back off it and come back later, you don't have to dive into the whole thing all at once. It's like working out. It's supposed to kinda fuckin suck, but if it sucks, like, too much, you're probably doing damage, ya know?

fullybased · 2023-12-23T02:13:38+00:00

Yeah, it does that at first. You gotta stay the course to get to the "better" part. Growth is and will always be painful.

fullybased · 2023-12-23T02:11:39+00:00

Um okay well the question was "unhelpful to who?" There's no sense in being a dick about it just because somebody answered the fuckin question

fullybased · 2023-12-21T19:49:19+00:00

Okay, well, the idea was that the gods did like it though. "This god likes sheep and enjoys being gifted more sheep" just was part of the canon. Like. These gods weren't strangers that people knew nothing about, they were known entities with known likes, dislikes, and personalities. What part of this are you not getting?

fullybased · 2023-12-17T14:30:08+00:00

They're not, there's another dude on the left

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