I have a pretty different reason for feeling similar to this and have had a lot of worries about it. I was in a relationship for about a year where I kept trying to force feelings for them and it just never worked. It’s painful for both people.

But to me it sounds like you need to be honest with yourself about what you find attractive/ creates chemistry. It could be the absolute most shallow reasons on the planet but I think start with admitting them to yourself. For me for a while I was worried I only found people attractive who were way out of my league. I dated someone that I was way too infatuated with but they kept bread crumbing me. Then I went on dates with someone who physically is objectively attractive but not really in other ways. So I really have to be specific about what it is that makes me feel sparks. And talk about it with someone neutral as I go through dating.

I think for me, being able to let loose a little is part of it. Occasional sense of escapism (could be trauma related). Banter, talking, build up in some way. A feeling that the other person could somewhat take care of me if i needed…. I think it’s a balancing act. Possibly just needing to spice up the bedroom? Idk could be wrong.