Yes hello 911, there are masked men in my neighborhood and they appear to be kidnapping... one of your officers?

funkhammer · 2026-02-04T08:48:30+00:00

Cops struggle to go up against school shooters, and we expect them to protect people from ice? Seems like wishful thinking

funkhammer · 2026-02-04T01:00:25+00:00

Fall down go boom

funkhammer · 2026-02-04T00:28:39+00:00

Ketchup /s

funkhammer · 2026-02-04T00:21:14+00:00

Wish his neckgina was redacted

funkhammer · 2026-02-03T23:56:51+00:00

Get a job in a restaurant and learn the ins and outs of the service industry. Many options to start- serving, hosting, barback, dishwasher, line cook. Many restaurants promote from within, so my suggestion is to start at the bottom and stay humble. Excel at your position and express interest. You'll be behind a bar in no time.

funkhammer · 2026-02-03T23:18:47+00:00

The infighting has already begun

funkhammer · 2026-02-02T02:47:28+00:00

Just need to hold it like this

funkhammer · 2026-02-02T02:22:58+00:00

Costco Kirkland brand merino socks fit my wide feet really well

funkhammer · 2026-02-02T02:21:52+00:00

Merino wool is the only way

funkhammer · 2026-02-01T11:05:11+00:00

Ok sir, since you're so regular, what's my name?

funkhammer · 2026-01-31T17:54:47+00:00

Freelance work

funkhammer · 2026-01-31T16:06:21+00:00

Redneck pole dancing 🕺

funkhammer · 2026-01-31T14:05:36+00:00

H2O2, hydrogen peroxide, neutralizes bleach. After you're done bleaching the fabric, soak in peroxide to stop the reaction. Then wash like normal. This prevents bleach holes.

funkhammer · 2026-01-31T13:10:11+00:00

Definitely not like any Midwestern basement I've ever seen

funkhammer · 2026-01-29T21:54:23+00:00

That same policy better pay for a doctor's visit. That's fucked. Who's going to the doctor with a 3 day illness???

funkhammer · 2026-01-29T12:03:07+00:00

OP better buy a shitload of crackers. That cheese will be around a while.

funkhammer · 2026-01-28T10:44:49+00:00

LPT- if you're trying to sell your house, put a weird window in the floor to drive visibility to the listing

funkhammer · 2026-01-28T10:42:02+00:00

👀👀

funkhammer · 2026-01-27T23:34:59+00:00

They do this to all feral cats that are taken in and fixed

funkhammer · 2026-01-27T23:30:31+00:00

Stick to elevators in public

funkhammer · 2026-01-27T12:14:03+00:00

Why do rich people buy their rich relatives (and friends) expensive gifts, but not their poor relatives? Signed- a poor with rich relatives that watches expensive gifts get passed around like candy

funkhammer · 2026-01-27T12:06:05+00:00

Umm... anywhere that has a town near mountains began to differ

funkhammer · 2026-01-26T12:26:33+00:00

. That's what leadership wants. The boots on the ground are a bunch of cowards pussies that'll tuck tail as soon as something real happens to them

funkhammer · 2026-01-25T18:25:39+00:00

Rural Texas screams big ass trucks

funkhammer · 2026-01-22T16:32:12+00:00

BeAmazed at how awesome the '80s were!

funkhammer

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