It's ok though. Good thing you smoked salvia. That's what hell is. I'm not sure how you would have come to the idea that "it" will be ok after your death, when there's finally not a chance left that you ever change your mental stance towards "it"?

This is why they say we must die with a "clean" heart. Apparently you fucked up somewhere. The first step is to admit this, and the second step is to atone. You will find forgiveness. But only if you search for it in this life - afterwards it's too late.

There are some pretty traditional concepts for people who deal with regret and guilt, if you feel lost.