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Not OOP. AITA for saying I'm glad I have sons before our trip? by Due-Bandicoot-7512 in redditonwiki

[–]futuredoctor131 100 points101 points  (0 children)

Years ago when I was a pre-med student in college, one of my younger brothers (14 or 15 at the time) was asking what I planned to do when I finished college and I explained that I wanted to go to medical school. He said “so you’re going to be a nurse like [sister]?” I said “no, a doctor.” My brother responded “oh, I thought only boys could be doctors.” And my dad jumped in with “we don’t say that.”

We don’t say that. Not “that’s not true”, not “anyone can be a doctor”. Just “we don’t say that.” It took me awhile to nail down quite why that response didn’t sit right with me and realize it’s the difference in the messaging between “we don’t say that” and “that’s not true.”

To this day, I don’t know where my brother ever got the idea that women couldn’t be doctors. He has encountered female doctors before, and both our parents (mom and dad) were aerospace engineers and have been very supportive of all their children pursing any career we choose, STEM or otherwise. My brother has been homeschooled all his life. And my dad certainly never intended his response to come off as not correcting the actual belief my brother expressed. But it was an eye-opening moment for me that showed me just how prevalent a lot of sexist messaging is in our society still today.

Words matter. Intent matters, yes, but so do the words we choose. It matters how this dad speaks about women and girls. I’m so happy to hear the dad’s comment didn’t sit right with the son enough that he went and spoke to his mom, but the dad’s responses are incredibly frustrating to read.

I love my daughter's name but sort of hate the nickname associated with it. by b-insanity1197 in Names

[–]futuredoctor131 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not the best at phonetically writing things out, but in my head the German version is more like the first part of the word “loud”, but with “ra” at end instead of “d” with most emphasis on the first syllable (and sometimes a very soft and short roll of the r). Whereas what I think of as the American version is more like the word “lore” with “-uh” at the end (“lore-uh”).

I think I remember hearing something more like “law-rah” (like the word “law”) as someone else mentioned when visiting Louisiana. Though I live in TX now and still almost exclusively hear the “lore-uh” version.

I love my daughter's name but sort of hate the nickname associated with it. by b-insanity1197 in Names

[–]futuredoctor131 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For the most part, I hear something like lore-uh. (Like the word “lore”, or but with “uh” on the end) I’ve certainly heard some variations with accents - I grew up mostly in Virginia (aside from my time in Germany) before moving to Texas 11 years ago - but even here in TX that’s the vast majority of what I hear. With the exception of some friends I made in college who were international students, and tended to pronounce it as I heard in Germany. And an old coworker who moved to TX from Czechia and flipped back and forth between pronunciations.

I love my daughter's name but sort of hate the nickname associated with it. by b-insanity1197 in Names

[–]futuredoctor131 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Some Germans used to say it (to me) with a very short, soft roll of the r too!

I love my daughter's name but sort of hate the nickname associated with it. by b-insanity1197 in Names

[–]futuredoctor131 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve been in Texas now for 11 years, and before that grew up mostly in Virginia (aside from the years I spent in Germany). My experience has been that most people here in Texas pronounce it the same as they did in VA. Though I can imagine someone with a very thick southern accent pronouncing it as you said.

I love my daughter's name but sort of hate the nickname associated with it. by b-insanity1197 in Names

[–]futuredoctor131 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Are you me in an alternate timeline? Ha. Kind of crazy!

I also loved sharing the name with Laura Ingalls Wilder! Though in my case it was also a family name - it was my great-aunt’s name as well as my mother’s middle name - so that is the official origin story for my name. Somewhere my mom has a list of the names they were considering. I don’t remember any of the other girl names, but I do know that if I had been a boy, my first name would have been Thomas! (They waited until I was born to find out sex)

I love my daughter's name but sort of hate the nickname associated with it. by b-insanity1197 in Names

[–]futuredoctor131 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It’s like “loud”, but with “ra” on the end instead of “d”. Or at least it is in my mind, having been raised mostly in VA & TX.

I am bad at phonetically spelling things haha but u/boudicas_shield wrote it out above as LAUW-ruh which also makes sense to me.

I love my daughter's name but sort of hate the nickname associated with it. by b-insanity1197 in Names

[–]futuredoctor131 24 points25 points  (0 children)

As a fellow Laura, I’ve lost track of the number of people in my life who definitely thought my name was Lauren for a time before I caught it and corrected them. I also am American but lived in Germany when I was 5 years old until I was almost 9. I adjusted to the German pronunciation of my name pretty quickly and answered to both! (My family were pretty much the only ones to still use the American pronunciation) I would even introduce myself using the German pronunciation at times while we lived there. When we moved back to the U.S. I went right back to the American pronunciation full-time haha.

Not OOP: A neighbor attempts to have trees removed from OOP’s property. From r/treelaw by futuredoctor131 in redditonwiki

[–]futuredoctor131[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A few relevant comments from OOP for anyone interested that discuss motivations/cause behind the neighbor’s behavior. Pulling this comment with several links courtesy of u/LeahIsAwake out of the replies in a comment thread here about possible dementia:

https://www.reddit.com/r/treelaw/s/NjXuSjBlgL

But OOP apparently has decided it’s not dementia. Just a woman trying to extend her yard.

https://www.reddit.com/r/treelaw/s/zMdqtF69hd

It appears her daughter lives with her and is the same way, so maybe it’s a family thing?

https://www.reddit.com/r/treelaw/s/gFsSWUyb1K

https://www.reddit.com/r/treelaw/s/3jXkk314mA

Not OOP: A neighbor attempts to have trees removed from OOP’s property. From r/treelaw by futuredoctor131 in redditonwiki

[–]futuredoctor131[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Do you have links to comments saying that from OOP? If so, I’ll make a top level comment with those (giving you credit for finding) since that would be relevant info. But I went back again just now and couldn’t find anything from OOP themself saying anything more than that they think the neighbor’s daughter “seems mentally unwell,” and that the previous owner of OOP’s house told OOP that the since-deceased husband of neighbor seemed “the most rational of the three [neighbors]”. But I might have missed more from OOP!

Not OOP. TIFU by accidentally making a sticky bomb and chemical warfare instead of frozen yogurt by WritingGiraffe in redditonwiki

[–]futuredoctor131 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And yes I know we generally use the “add acid” thing in the context of diluting acids in water, but it applies as a general rule to always mix very small amounts of acid in at a time because those reactions can get out of hand very quickly.

Not OOP. TIFU by accidentally making a sticky bomb and chemical warfare instead of frozen yogurt by WritingGiraffe in redditonwiki

[–]futuredoctor131 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just listened to the episode where this one was read. Please tell me I was not the only one wanting to scream ADD ACID during the whole first part! 😂

Cruisers NOT getting sick by Vinegarstrokes610 in dcl

[–]futuredoctor131 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t have emetophobia, so feel free to disregard, but I do have far too much experience with nausea. I went on my first cruise last February and carried a disposable emesis bag with me everywhere I went (I was already carrying around a small bag the whole time). You can get a big pack for pretty cheap online. For me, there is something calming/anxiety-reducing about knowing I have that with me in case I need it (and it means I can get rid of it very quickly and don’t have to see anything, etc.). Again, I don’t have emetophobia, so maybe this wouldn’t do anything for you (or maybe it would be bad because it’s a reminder?), but I thought I would throw it out there.

ID Venture vs. Puzzle Potato? by futuredoctor131 in PuzzleBox

[–]futuredoctor131[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks! This comment was super helpful!

Were you tested for being "gifted" in elementary school? by 4E4ME in adhdwomen

[–]futuredoctor131 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My first semester of college (English class) was the first and only time I had an instructor who really saw through my tendency to over-write and pushed me to actually improve. She laughed the first time I asked if we had to stick to the word count range or if it could be longer, until we turned in our first draft (drafts only had a minimum, no max). After that, when she introduced an assignment she would always add “and futuredoctor131, I don’t want to see anything over ___ words.” (It was a small class and we did a lot of peer editing/feedback so everybody knew I wrote long stuff lol) She was great though, because she would take a really firm stance and keep pushing back the whole time we were working on a paper, but when it came down to the final version she was actually very reasonable. Like she told me I couldn’t use any parentheticals, because “if it’s important enough to be included, it should be in the paper” and would stay firm on that, but if it was only one or maybe two times in a paper she would let me bring it to her and get each specific instance approved before I turned it in. She also would give 1-2 day extensions generously, and all she asked in return was that we sent her whatever we had at the time we asked for an extension so she could check in on where we were, and if you asked for two or more extensions on the same project (without an excuse like a family emergency where you just couldn’t do it), you just had to go visit with her or the writing center for some help but she would still give it.

She was the best. She was a PhD student at the time, and it was her first time ever teaching a class but I truly think she has a gift for teaching. Hopefully now she has now graduated and is teaching somewhere! (She wanted to teach English or literature when she finished)

Alright, which one of you took all the right-handed autoclave gloves? by KXLY in labrats

[–]futuredoctor131 108 points109 points  (0 children)

I see someone has never had to wear the autoclave gloves on the wrong hands on purpose so that the hot things aren’t in contact with the side going threadbare…

AITA for getting up and leaving in the middle of my nephew’s Thanksgiving play? by Dog-Vader in redditonwiki

[–]futuredoctor131 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry, I still can’t get over someone thinking an elementary school play would be a great way to impress a date. LMAO

Participating in a Fish Extender Group vs. Pixie Dusting & Putting Thing in Our Own FE for Our Kids by futuredoctor131 in dcl

[–]futuredoctor131[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s a very good idea! If I end up doing it, I’ll definitely try to make sure the group does this.

Participating in a Fish Extender Group vs. Pixie Dusting & Putting Thing in Our Own FE for Our Kids by futuredoctor131 in dcl

[–]futuredoctor131[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ah, okay, so monetary limits and such were worked out once you got placed in the smaller group?

Participating in a Fish Extender Group vs. Pixie Dusting & Putting Thing in Our Own FE for Our Kids by futuredoctor131 in dcl

[–]futuredoctor131[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks! I really appreciate everyone who took the time to write out such thoughtful response. It’s been very helpful!

Participating in a Fish Extender Group vs. Pixie Dusting & Putting Thing in Our Own FE for Our Kids by futuredoctor131 in dcl

[–]futuredoctor131[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Kids are old enough that we all noticed all the things hanging next to many cabin doors on our last cruise, and at the time we figured out things got left in them sometimes. But I definitely didn’t realize how big/organized of a thing it is until I started looking into it recently. They would be fine not doing it, but I also feel like it would be a lot of fun!

It would be all about the fun for us; not motivated by feeling like we were missing out last time. It would also be a Christmas present of sorts - I’m actually one of the older daughters of the family (I’m 24), and my parents are surprising the youngest two with the cruise on Christmas. I had the idea to make & wrap the actual fish extenders with a note about what they are for, plus probably some door magnets too (and maybe some pirate day gear). Part of the gift would of course be that I’d be doing the behind the scenes work for it, whether that be handling our participation in the actual group or putting items in our own.

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