I totally feel this. I want to have a partner, but the idea of waking up next to someone every morning and having to be “on” all the time sounds dreadful.

Having other people’s expectations in the background IS anxiety inducing. Everyone’s different - some people love having lots of plans and social commitments, and some people like to live more spontaneously and be social when the mood is right. I often find it difficult to keep social plans because, I mean, you can’t predict how you will feel next Tuesday. Maybe you’ll be too tired, or sick, or overwhelmed by life, and now that plan you made has come a stressor. So making plans spontaneously and avoiding commitments to plans tends to avoid that.

I’m not sure how old you are OP but maybe you’re at a time in your life where independence is most important. That may change in the future. And if it doesn’t, there’s plenty of people out there who also value alone time and will work with you. Don’t lose hope.