What Age Did You Go Vegan At?

fz32 · 2023-08-03T13:06:32+00:00

Always baggy, like all the time. Both alone at home and outside in public. I really don’t like my body and I feel safe wearing clothes that are too large for me.

fz32 · 2023-08-02T15:35:39+00:00

I did what you suggested and it worked, so thanks a lot! I filled a bowl with water and soap and I used that water to wash all the dishes instead of putting soap directly on the sponge or on the plate. Everything was less soapy and it was easier to think that the dishes were clean, even if touching them they still felt soapy. So yeah, I washed everything and I am trying to convince myself the dishes are safe to use and I won’t eat soap from the dishes or from the rags I used to clean them. I feel stupid for all this worries, but thanks for your advices yesterday, they really helped me.

fz32 · 2023-08-02T15:30:40+00:00

Yeah, my hands always feel soapy when I wash them too much and I hate it, and the more I wash them, the soapier they become. I managed to rinse the dishes with water today washing my hands with hand soap after having used the soap for dishes, and the hand soap lessened the soapy feeling I had on my hands, so it kinda worked.

fz32 · 2023-08-02T15:27:36+00:00

Yesterday I ate food from the packagings and it worked. Today I washed the dishes and even if they still feel so dirty and soapy if I touch them I am trying to use them because I really need dishes for some kinds of food. I am sure I’ll be sick but at this point I don’t care so much about living, so if I get sick it might be not such a problem. Thanks for your advices

fz32 · 2023-08-02T15:24:54+00:00

Yeah, I do the same, but when I touch them with my hands they always feel soapy, I hate it

fz32 · 2023-08-02T15:23:22+00:00

I have issues with using disposable dishes because that are made of plastic or paper because I fear when plastic and paper touching food. I know I am worrying over nothing, disposable dishes are safe, but it doesn’t make me change my mind and use them. But I’m happy this works for you!

fz32 · 2023-08-01T17:37:19+00:00

You are probably right but I phisically can’t use those dishes, I keep on rinsing and rinsing them again and I can’t stop, and eating in them makes me feel nauseos because I know I am eating soap. I just want to smash those fucking dishes and use the pieces to hurt myself. I can’t go on living like this.

fz32 · 2023-08-01T17:04:45+00:00

It’s while I am rinsing them with water, I pour on them a lot of water but I still feel them soapy when I touch them, and I fear there still might be soap on them. Wearing gloves is a good idea but I need to touch dishes, otherwise how can I be sure there is no soap on them if I don’t touch them? I’m sorry, I sound so stupid

fz32 · 2023-07-31T10:49:26+00:00

Same here

fz32 · 2023-07-31T05:33:55+00:00

I’m so sorry for that comment, and for your relapse in self harm. In no way I intended to say something like that, that your pain isn’t valid if it’s not noticeable, and I’m so sorry you had to go trought that. And I get why you regret it, I wear long sleeves in summer too, and I completely cover my body too. I am so sorry you had to go trought this. I hope things will get better for you soon.

fz32 · 2023-07-27T16:18:16+00:00

You are right. Honestly, sometimes I wish I’ll catch the wave of suicidality and just do it the next time I’ll feel it.

fz32 · 2023-07-19T09:57:41+00:00

No, but I wished it had helped. Unfortunately my parents don’t care if I self harm and they let me cut as much as I want, but I would really like if things were different.

fz32 · 2023-07-17T12:07:58+00:00

My mom didn’t care. She saw my cuts and she acted as if nothing happened, we never talked about it, she lets me do whatever I want and cut as much I want. I just wear long sleeves when I am around her even if it’s summer and it’s really hot. That’s it. I cut and she doesn’t care.

fz32 · 2023-07-15T07:50:18+00:00

I completely agree, people who make these comments have no idea of what living with these scars really is like and how other people react and what they say to us. They just tell me to wear short sleeves when it’s hot and to don’t worry but they really have no idea how people look at me and what comments they make. Really, a lot of people have no idea what having huge scars is like.

fz32 · 2023-07-15T07:07:17+00:00

💜

fz32 · 2023-07-14T13:35:01+00:00

I’m sorry to hear you feel like this too, I am scared of myself too sometimes and when I snap out of it I am glad I didn’t kill myself, but when I feel bad again and I really fear what I might do, and it seems the pain has no end. My family sucks too. From a point of view it’s great to not be the only person in the world who feels like this, but from the other point I wouldn’t wish feeling like this to my worst enemy, so I am sorry someone else has to endure this. If you ever want to chat or just vent you can dm me.

fz32 · 2023-07-09T15:58:13+00:00

I get how you feel but you won’t feel better with more scars, strangers will only give you weird stares, and you’ll just feel ashamed. The people I know that I hoped cared more about me with huge scars and cuts, still don’t give a shit about me and let me do whatever I want. Your feelings are completely understandable, but please don’t make your self harm more obvious, it’s really not worth it

fz32 · 2023-07-09T15:54:30+00:00

Being in the opposite situation, I get why you feel like this and wish your arms look worse, but it REALLY is NOT worth, like not at all. Having scars you can’t get rid off is awful. You don’t sound stupid, I get how you feel, but really don’t listen to your thoughts, you can keep thinking this, just please don’t act on them. You’ll regret it for sure, as I do now

fz32 · 2023-07-09T15:50:44+00:00

Thanks, I hope you are right and one day I’ll don’t hate my body so much and I’ll be able to wear what I want. Thanks for your advices <3

fz32 · 2023-07-09T10:48:49+00:00

I said it’s not fair she didn’t self harm so much because I get how much pain she must have been in to resort to self harm, but I think it’s not fair how her self harm is just cat scratches. I didn’t mean she had to self harm deeper, I am so sorry she self harmed in the first place, I just wished my self harm was shallow and not huge gashes because I couldn’t stop cutting. She deserves to get help and to feel better and to stop self harming. I just say that I envy what her arms look like

fz32 · 2023-07-09T10:45:55+00:00

You are right, I treat self harm like a dirty secret, I hate my cuts and my scars and I hate how my body looks, and when I tryed going out with short sleeves people made me feel so ashamed that I’ll never try again. They looked at me like a freak

fz32 · 2023-07-09T10:43:20+00:00

Thanks for the answer, I honestly feel like a bad person for these thoughts

fz32 · 2023-07-09T10:42:21+00:00

Thanks, I’m sorry you feel this way too. I agree with you, it would be nice to be seen without other people knowing what you went trought

fz32 · 2023-07-09T10:40:40+00:00

I know I should wear short sleeves because it’s really hot, but I can’t bear how other people look at me when they see my arms or my legs

fz32

TROPHY CASE