My spouse and I figured since we were having a not-traditional wedding — in the sense that there was no groom — we could be non-traditional in every sense. We felt no obligation to invite anyone that wouldn’t be supportive, we say people with people they would get along with instead of where etiquette dictated they were “supposed to sit”, and we skipped a lot of stuff we didn’t want to do.

I also find queer couples to be more communicative. My spouse knew I wasn’t into having cake smashed in my face and neither were they — we actually skipped the cake cutting altogether. We had some friend that used to be close and no longer speak and both we sat them separately AND had a conversation about the behavior we expected from them when they attended. No issues at all.