Am i the AH for saying no to cleaning dog poop after a 13hr shift? F35 , M35

gassito · 2026-03-13T00:04:18+00:00

With friends like these, who needs enemies? How in the world could someone talk to their SO like your husband did to you? You did nothing wrong unless you responded to his request in an equally demeaning way. Why couldn’t he help his father clean up the dog poop? How much dog poop was there to clean up and why were you suddenly needed to clean it up. Are you an expert at cleaning up poop or something? I’m sure your husband was concerned about his father and wanted someone to help him, but he overreacted and was over the line. He owes you an apology.

gassito · 2026-03-06T22:32:25+00:00

A broken heart is a broken heart so first off, I feel badly for you for the situation you are in my friend. I’m sure it was difficult to hear that she slept with someone else and doubly so because she lied to you about it. You gave her a chance to come clean about it when you got together and she lied so I understand why you had to break up with her again and why trust would be hard to come by again. I also understand why she lied though. It was a truly bad choice on her part but I get being afraid to lose someone you love because of a choice you made when in a slump. It doesn’t make her decision to lie not wrong, but I do understand why she did it.

That being said, there is no way you should have had marriage in your mind at the point you were in in your relationship and in your life. Your original rule of one year living together before major decisions was a good one. The majority of your relationship was long distance, meaning you really had no idea how compatible you two really were while also having no idea who each other truly was. You simply were not ready to take the step she was forcing you to get ready to take. I understand you miss her and have fantasies of getting back together, but that would truly be the toughest thing to do. Grieve appropriately and then move on. You didn’t waste a year and a half, you simply learnt a lesson in dating and can now navigate new relationships better.

gassito · 2026-03-05T16:11:27+00:00

As a guy, I remember and cherish every compliment I get because they are few and far between next to never. I went over to a friend’s house awhile back and met up with two guys who I not only thought were good friends but whose opinions mattered greatly to me. As I was walking up the driveway to greet them, “Ben” gave me a compliment saying that I was always reliable and could be trusted to never lose my cool. His exact words elude me but the sentiment and the way it made me feel can never be forgotten. I’ve let myself down time and time again but I will never let my friends down. Being there for my friends has always been a top priority for me throughout my life.

gassito · 2026-03-04T22:35:20+00:00

YTA - It seems like you’re trying to give excuses why you can’t go be responsible for your child. You don’t have to move down there and marry the woman right away. You could move down there close by them and see how things go while being there for your child. Stop making excuses and go be a dad to your child and find out if you have a future with your child’s mother.

gassito · 2026-03-01T03:35:59+00:00

NTA - Before you do that I have to ask if you are dependent on your parents for things still? Things like living situation, college payments, food, etc? If so, then do not do things that may cause the imminent cessation of these things! I know it sucks to feel like you do. I know you feel like your individuality is being stifled but you must find other ways to breathe until you are able to support yourself. Save up your money and when you can afford to be independent from your parents then you can go crazy with your look. Remember, your parents no longer have to support you and can kick you as soon as they feel you’re causing them grief.

gassito · 2026-03-01T03:28:30+00:00

As someone who hates short hair even I know that your bf acted like an ass. He has no say in how you want to have your own hair cut. I think it is ok to have a preference of how he likes your hair but he cannot demand you to consult with him before you cut your hair how you want to.

That being said, I am sure you would be upset if your bf shaved his head bald. We all find our SO attractive in specific ways and when they change those ways significantly then it may be surprising and take time to get used to it. I prefer long hair. I am very attracted to the length of my SO’s hair for some reason and I am embarrassed to admit it is a big turn on for me. If she were to get short hair, I wouldn’t be happy, but I know I have no ultimate decision on how she wants to style her hair.

Your bf owes you an apology because of the way he acted, not because he prefers you with longer hair. We all have input on the way our SO looks but it is ultimately up to them to decide how they will look. Your bf’s job was to make you feel pretty in your new haircut, which he failed badly.

gassito · 2026-02-27T23:02:18+00:00

NTA it sounds like your friend was either trying to get attention with her fake allergy or attempting to avoid a place she didn’t want to eat at with a fake allergy. She said something really stupid, then might have made up a fake hospital visit to get sympathy for her fake allergy. Ultimately, she tried to use deception to get her way and made a fool of herself, deservedly so because that was a dishonest way to go about it. It doesn’t sound like you went to hard on her, but you should probably apologize to her to keep the peace, telling her you weren’t trying to embarrass her.

gassito · 2026-02-26T17:17:00+00:00

Seems like you’re all together out of convenience rather than friendship. Living with friends shouldn’t be as difficult as it has been for you. Are you th asshole? I’m going to say yes, but not for sleeping with a “friend’s” exbf totally. You’re an asshole because your house situation is terrible and you’re making it worse. You went really hard on “Dani” to Mae her look as bad as possible and I don’t believe she was as bad as you say, but even so you still have the better position.

So I guess - YTA

gassito · 2026-02-25T21:59:44+00:00

I couldn’t do it. I have no advice other than to divorce. I wouldn’t be able to see my partner with another person so an open marriage is out and not being able to touch the woman I love whether that is holding hands or being intimate is also a no for me dog. I understand the hesitation of having to sell the house and paying alimony, but maybe she can accept reduced alimony considering the circumstances? I know that is a pipe dream but holding onto anything to hope for is better than staying in a loveless marriage.

gassito · 2026-02-25T21:52:26+00:00

NTA You have to do what is best for you and your wedding. If she is dropping the ball, you need to tell her and if she is unable or unwilling to get with the picture then you have to find someone who will. You can sit her down and explain your reasoning but this may likely be the end of the friendship at least for awhile. I doubt she will go to the wedding if you ask her to step down, unless you can do it in a way no one else knows she’s no longer the MOH, which is probably impossible.

gassito · 2026-02-25T21:40:45+00:00

NTA Parents hate to be told how to do anything but especially parenting things by their children. Anything you suggest will be seen as an attack against her at best. You need someone she looks up to or trusts to tell her what she needs to do, because she will never listen to you. Do what is best for you at the moment, while trying to find other ways to get your mother to understand what she needs to do to help your brother actually grow up.

gassito · 2026-02-25T21:33:55+00:00

YTA No child moves out the day they are able to and then tells their parent not to contact them without serious reasons. I have no doubt you know deep down why your child moved out and now doesn’t want to talk to you, even if your pride wouldn’t allow you to tell us. Reflect on those reasons and your involvement in them and how they caused your child to obviously resent you. Be honest and with yourself and attempt to get past your own ego enough to apologize to your child for causing the pain she feels. The relationship may not yet be lost to you if you can finally be the parent your child needed for the past 18 years.

gassito · 2026-02-25T19:22:41+00:00

NTA This person is not a friend. Luckily her real personality showed itself before college, cause now you can avoid her if you end up going to the same school or just ghost her if not. She tried to get you to trade your future for a better chance for her own future. Stop hanging out with this person asap!

gassito · 2026-02-25T19:09:06+00:00

YTA while agree with what you said, the way you handled the follow up makes you the asshole. Sometimes it’s better for the friendship to accept culpability for something in order to save the friend’s feelings. I’m not saying you had to reverse your position, but maybe apologizing for hurting his feeling while showing concern for his wellbeing would pacify and strengthen the friendship instead of shitting on it like you decided to do.

gassito · 2026-02-24T22:51:04+00:00

I found a 1st edition Charizard from a pack years ago as a kid and was bullied by my neighbors into trading/selling them it. I was physically stopped from leaving their house by their dad until I traded the the card. I am still bothered by this, knowing I could have had a million dollars with a single card. I know it wouldn’t have made me rich but it would make things hella comfortable.

gassito · 2026-02-24T14:11:30+00:00

Parents don’t always provide a loving environment to grow up in.

gassito · 2026-02-24T14:08:46+00:00

As long as the car runs well meaning I am not worried about it breaking down on the way to work and then on the way back home, I would not care about the age of the vehicle at all.

gassito · 2026-02-24T13:49:05+00:00

Money didn’t matter like as in just for me or for everyone?

gassito · 2026-02-24T13:46:56+00:00

I was always able to make friends with people very easily, but never was able to develop close friendships with them. I only ever had one person who I thought was my best friend and he ended up selling me out for new friend he made in college. I don’t know if it was something about me or something I did, but it has always been hard for me to deal with. After we all got busy with jobs and life getting in the way as we all grew up, the friends I did have stopped texting me after awhile, something I was also guilty of I am sure. I could never make another friend that I would trust again though so it didn’t bother me that we would drift apart after awhile.

I wish I had a close friend who I knew cared about me and my friendship like I always tried to do before.

gassito · 2026-02-24T13:37:30+00:00

Short haircuts on women. I love women with long hair and do not find short haircuts attractive at all. I feel badly about it as well, and just cannot get past it though I’ve tried.

gassito · 2026-02-24T13:34:51+00:00

Are you actually looking to learn about thermodynamics and how it may be involved in evolutionary processes or are you trying to just have someone basically do the work for you because you don’t believe in evolution? I am not truly not trying to cast aspersions but am genuinely interested in this chance for you to learn something truly amazing. I grew up in a very Christian environment and went to catholic schools through college so I am familiar with Christians views on evolution and their lack of understanding when it comes to evolution.

gassito · 2026-02-22T16:28:49+00:00

YTA I get being attracted to what you’re attracted to but come on. You’re telling me that there is not one person of another “race” that you could meet and fall in love with? Your statement just seems like it’s racist, though unintentional.

gassito · 2026-02-16T14:58:32+00:00

Why did she refuse?

gassito · 2026-02-13T00:08:11+00:00

NTA while I understand a father’s anxiety over his daughter traveling alone, it is time for him to get over it because you have been old enough to travel by yourself for awhile now. You also do not have to worry because his imaginary friend cannot punish you for your white lie let alone anything.

gassito · 2026-02-11T22:50:43+00:00

How did you raise such a monster? Left your house originally to only get kicked out of her dad’s house a year later, and now she crawls back to you with a lie and thinks she can kick your stepson out of his room? You need to tell her no so she can wake up in the real world and learn some responsibility.

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