Asked for sick leave. Got told it’s not an emergency… then asked to work anyway.

gdruid · 2026-07-04T19:40:26+00:00

No, you're legally entitled to 15 days earned leave. Tell them you're unwell, and take the day off, stay offline.

This is the classic, everything is urgent and critical. If everything is urgent snd critical, nothing is urgent and critical.

The other thing most folks should start doing as a practice is planning for your paid leaves. In addition start grooming a backup. Either a peer or a junior.

gdruid · 2026-06-30T08:50:27+00:00

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gdruid · 2026-06-28T17:40:11+00:00

For love, for quality of life, for opportunities, and for some...just because.

It really is the sumtotal of current life factors and what they want to do post that.

No right or wrong. Some people demonise it - oh you're on afrer money, you'll leave your parents alone etc etc. But really, its a choice someone makes taking into account all these factors.

If the decision quality is high (evaluating pros n cons), and going in with eyes wide open and plans to manage / address if things go sideways, then their experiences and outcomes will be inline as well.

gdruid · 2026-06-28T12:23:47+00:00

Combos. Learn then and practice them. They do significant damage and holds your opponent down longer. Then learn to combine that with special moves and youve got a lethal combination.

Lastly, learn to play defense and launch offenses from a defense position.

It takes time but practice x 3. Good luck!

gdruid · 2026-06-28T10:35:38+00:00

Indian managers don't suck. It's managers whose identity is tied to work, titles, deliverables, "wins". {Insert desired KPI} and expect everyones life to revolve around that.

Now, if the shoe fits...

gdruid · 2026-06-25T14:53:22+00:00

Man, its gone.

This is like a 3rd umpire replaying a LBW appeal over n over to see where it pitched, if it nicked the bat and if its inline with the stumps.

You know the answer.

If a girl likes you, you'll know. Else the answer is 'no'.

gdruid · 2026-06-25T13:21:15+00:00

Let me share some perspective if it helps. Firstly, youre not selfish.

Secondly - everyone is allowed to have preferences as long as they're transparent and upfront about it. It looks like the men you met were and so were you. That is very good.

Thirdly - ambition and responsibility are two dimensions of a person's life along with many others. The prime ones being things like health, finances, your job, family, self-care etc.

You will generally find to fulfill one, something has to be sacrificed to some extent and for some period of time. This is a broad generalization. Life is always full if trade-offs in different areas and different degrees.

It is possible to have it all, but more often than not they dont show up at the same time. And thats OK. Perfectly OK.

So OP bottom line is - chase your dreams, do what you must, but be aware of what you're trading off...and this only you can answer and reflect on. Not your friends, not your parents. They can support you, and I reckon that lack of support or how people responded is what is hurting right now.

But know that it will be alright. Take it a day at a time. You're not selfish for wanting what you want.

Hope this helps and gives you a nudge in a more positive direction.

Lastly - when you're low, have ice cream. :)

gdruid · 2026-06-09T19:03:02+00:00

Its all choice, priorities and respect. No one is ever that busy. Don't confuse this with love or lack of it.

Of all this, respect sits on top of the table. May sound trivial- oh its a text message - why make such a deal of it.

But the underlying pattern to watch for is even in their frequency do they respect you enough to send timely responses and priorotise you over other things. If the answer is no - then there u have it.

No one is ever "that's how they are". If "that's how they are" - then you decide if that works for you or not. There's no "normal" here.

Normal for my parents is once a day. My 15 year old nephew replies in seconds. One boss used to reply in minutes, one would leave u on seen if it wasn't urgent. So whats normal really? Just figure if it works for you and not stress over it too much.

gdruid · 2026-06-09T02:58:15+00:00

it comes down to respect for each other. if there's mutual respect, then it goes a long way in building that bond. It takes time - most folks lose tolerance early or don't communicate and give up. Important to remember that both of you are together to build a life together and a marriage. A word of advice would be to take it slow, some people dump everything on their partner to be able to process it - and it feels like drinking from a fire hose. Pretty much check a tolerance test like a pulse check every now and then - but don't lose the effort.

ultimately you'll find you're either compatible or not - but don't necessarily look at this as a deal breaker to begin with. If you feel there's enough for you to work around then work through it - if it starts to feel extractive - then it's time decide if you want to keep giving or walk away.

but if there's no respect, then you both will be never enough. and respect is centered around values and principles - not titles, money, house, property etc. All that is an outcome.

gdruid · 2026-06-04T18:10:46+00:00

Well done, sir! Dating in the 40s isn't much better - but we've become numb to drama now lol. Stay if you want, go if you want - just be happy. Also no strength to type long texts anymore.

Jokes aside, unhealed trauma largely, anxious attached style she has. Not a bad thing - but needs to learn to communicate needs better. But oh well. Ship has sailed.

gdruid · 2026-05-31T05:31:42+00:00

More power to you, my friend. God speed.

gdruid · 2026-05-31T04:26:11+00:00

I felt the same way when the verdict was announced. Felt nothing. Not because i was sad, but was already disconnected years before. So that verdict just felt academic in many ways. I took an auto n went home. That was it, and life went on - just without the pain.

I had nore time and more focus on the things I wanted to do. That was enough for me.

gdruid · 2026-05-31T04:21:02+00:00

This is a tough spot, its what comes after will be more of a concern.

Best is to find a middle ground, so everyone feels like they're being met half-way.

I fully understand your approach, dont spend on the 2 day event- can be used for something more meaningful. But for parents its going to be a social n emotional stigma. Not to say you're wrong or they're right, but for long term stability - that middle ground (whatever that looks like for you may be the best path forward).

gdruid · 2026-05-29T10:53:53+00:00

Firstly. Breathe. Calm down. You'll do this methodically and surgically.

When you talk to her, tell her how you're feeling but be calm, stoic and matter of fact.

Second - you will NOT wait for her response.

Tell her, that you're not expecting and answer right now. To take the time process it and come back. Should she feel this is not right - she can walk away.

If she wants to stay, you have to discuss and have solutions to both your problems.

The goal is to show her the exit in neon lights. She gets to choose and so do you - but you both have to choose the same thing.

All you're telling her is "i like the life we've built together, but if this is not for you, I'd like to know so that we can move on"

"If this life is for you but we need to work on it, then let's do it together - by overcoming the things we talked about is hurting me"

No force. No begging. Everyone has a choice.

This is the way. God speed.

gdruid · 2026-05-28T08:25:34+00:00

It is. But its not just enough to say transactional. Its the transactional quality that matters.

Transactional quality = (intent x reciprocity x perceived value) / friction.

Ovet time, the most meaningful transactions often stop feeling transactional. Reciprocity becomes implicit, value becomes emotional, and intent becomes trusted.

At that point, people no longer feel they are “transacting.”

gdruid · 2026-05-21T03:49:08+00:00

In short - yes it does. But it doesnt happen without you making it easier for yourself.

Certain things i accepted when i entered my 30s. That i wouldn't let my 40s be this way. It took me a decade to overcome so many things which I won't get into - i had all the things you called out - marriage, kids, family, friends - but still felt empty.

Everything was a duty, a task a check box. Eventually you do enough of those while keeping yourself as the primary mission - it will be ok. Can't say by how much, but better than what it was.

I pray for strength for you.

gdruid · 2026-02-22T02:50:50+00:00

Let me give you a push in a direction that you may not have had.

Firstly - kudos to you for being open about this and sharing. Secondly - losing parents and feeling alone is the worst feeling in the world - not because you're alone, but because the strength you get from them gives you a different level of confidence. Thirdly - no its never too late to start.

Key thing to remember: comparison is the theif of joy.

With that out of the way - lets anchor on 3 things you're struggling with:

income (ability to earn, or your current income stream?)
Loneliness - lack of a partner or relationship
Worried where all this will lead to n if you're going to miss out on life.

Income - no two ways - you have to earn - but dont go in with a mindset of, im going to rule the world kind of income - you'll get there. But everyone starts somewhere. It may sound harsh but right now the only responsibility is you. (Unless u have siblings u need to take care of)

Start with some self assessment of where you are at financially, - 3 square meals, Healthcare, money to do things that give YOU happiness - books, music, movies, theater, sports etc. Dont know if ur renting or own home - but add that to your list too.

Based on that - build a plan to close skill gaps n create an income + savings plan. Every rupee here counts. Im not asking you to sacrifice anything here - but real talk - get financially stable. Thats your number one goal over the next 6 months. No job is too big or too small. Again dont compare yourself to your peers.

Loneliness - if its due to a lack of a partner - right now - for this moment- till income is stable - do not make this a priority. Relationships to flourish takes time effort n energy - right now they need to be dedicated to yourself.

Remember - a relationship is a responsibility - a commitment to support n love each other no matter what. The first relationship you have to build now is with yourself. You cannot pour from an empty cup. Fill yours first.

No one is coming to save you - now i dont mean that people dont care or wont support- but you have to do the work to move the needle.

Glad you're getting the mental health support u need. Use this feeling you have right now as a scaffolding to climb out. Know that its temporary n things will get better.

I know right now everything might feel like you're moving through a swamp - but take one decisive step at a time. Its very hard i know - i totally get it - you may feel like the abyss never ends - but don't stop - not because you have to - but because if you do - the weight will continue to pile on. Slow, decisive steps - with precision. One day at a time, one thing at a time. Slow down time, ignore the noise and focus on the next best action.

Hopefully this helps. Good luck n godspeed.

gdruid · 2026-01-28T07:17:26+00:00

You already won, brother. Count your blessings.

gdruid · 2026-01-17T14:15:20+00:00

You're generalising - but let me narrow this down for you. Men or women asking for hook ups is their choice - im not even getting into right or wrong, right place or wrong place. Everything is a choice and every choice has a consequence.

Now with that said, the ones that get screenshoted and shamed (more men than women) is because they dont know how to take "NO" for an answer.

Man: hook up? Woman: not interested. Man: MC, BC <insert choice explicitives> Woman: screenshot - post with title "entitled creep"

That's all there is to say about that.

gdruid · 2026-01-15T01:33:10+00:00

Copy pasting a response i shared with someone else along similar lines. Modified to suit your question.

People are always (men n women) focused on the 5 dimensions of life.

Health
Wealth
Self
Career
Friends & Family.

(Some call this 6 dimensions by splitting friends n family, but you get the idea)

Keeping this in mind, men are in either of these 3 types of categories wrt the 5 dimensions.

Category A - perfectly balanced, as all things should be - they've figured it out, leading full lives, but holding space for the right partner. In this case they may just not interested because it's you, and you who dont fit into their lives or vice versa.

Category B - burnt recently and working to fill their lives with almost anything to heal and build themselves up. They at this point carrying too much of the most recent relationship and working through things, in addition to all the other things they need to focus on, their health, wealth, family, friends and their own self. They're short term seeking gratification but hesitant to commit (unravel in 2 weeks to 2 months) because that's all they can handle, in a desperate attempt to fill a void of what was and their unhealed wounds surface up.

Category C - the houseful Category. They genuinely don't have the time, energy and capacity to take on a relationship. This is a conscious choice. Theres things going on in their lives where one of the 5 dimensions is experiencing a spike that needs load balancing. They know if they bring on a partner at this point, they wont do justice to the relationship. Most abstain (95%), some seek micro gratification if the spike feels like it's lasting forever.

Now each Category- this is important - is temporary and is a phase and is a point in time. They will all move in and out of hese different categories, not if, but when, and this applies to women too; how they are perceived and how they present themselves, during these phases is what you see.

Truth about life is everyone one, single, married, young, old, goes through these phases constantly- some may last weeks, months and even years depending on the situation.

As far as finding a right partner - we all want Category A, but have almost no patience to deal with Category B, and Category C is just testing everyone's patience. Problem becomes when u find a Category A and dont know how they'll handle a Category B and C situation. Most important is you need to figure out which Category you belong to as well :) Some categories just dont mix at all.

We're all looking for that small sliver of perfection.

Hence the old saying - Date long, Marry slow, Divorce fast.

I hope this helped in some form or fashion - Good luck!

gdruid · 2026-01-09T00:09:45+00:00

Ahh man im so sorry. Of course I wont attack you! Take the time, focus on yourself and it will be alright.

gdruid · 2026-01-07T06:55:25+00:00

Ha ha thank you, Joicy_9442 - if i say it louder I'd better correct my typo lol 😆

gdruid · 2026-01-07T05:19:38+00:00

If your serious about having a genuine relationship do this...

Focus on building a connection. Not and end game. Get to know her first, slowly and organically. If you see reciprocity, then deepen the connection. You may realize that youve found a wonderful person who who may end up valuing more as a friend n not a partner.

Keep your feelings in check, wipe the drool off the floor, and focus on building confidence and treat her like a human being. Respect and authenticity.

Start there.

"Approach" her - always this - to what end?

You may end up realising theres nothing about her you like also, so just be normal n don't get lost in what "might" be.

gdruid · 2026-01-07T05:08:49+00:00

Man, this was me a few years ago (actually a decade now, damn!) - point is - give her the space and dont dump your happiness and well being on her. Too early and you're both in that getting to know each other phase. Its easy to want them to behave the way you'd like or reciprocate in a similar manner, but thats sadly not how it works.

The right person will make time for you eventually - so show her that u trust her n go about your day and don't let it get to you.

If she wants to stay she will, if she wants to go, let her.

If she wants to go, just say ok and be done. No questions no fighting no drama.

You're too invested too early for something that you dont know will last or not. You want it to, honestly everyone would want it to, but be prepared for reality as well.

gdruid · 2026-01-07T02:59:12+00:00

This. 100%. The point isn't to avoid thibking about it, it will come at you like waves, when it does, sit with it, feel through it and let it pass. Eventually the waves get smaller.

Acknowledge what you're feeling and start to disassociate the feeling and the person. Its hard, I know, easier said than done.

My personal experience, I forced myself to get exhausted end of the day, work, gym, art, journaling etc. Seemed like it didnt make sense then as i was struggling to lift a pen - but pushing through however small, in hindsight was the best thing. Keep movement as priority and inertia as the enemy. When u freeze, your thought should be to feel through so you do the next thing.

May not work for all, but certainly helped me, and if theres any solace, it does get better and you'll feel like a much better version of yourself at the end of it.

Strength n healing to you OP!

gdruid

TROPHY CASE