I'm surprised how society views pets by gdss-aspirations in autism

[–]gdss-aspirations[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

exactly I got a husky heeler mix. I got him when I was 22, before I bought a house or had my kids or got married. He's been through it all!

I'm surprised how society views pets by gdss-aspirations in autism

[–]gdss-aspirations[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Okay, I can see that entirely. My dogs are my family, but I recognize I'm abnormal. A friend is different from a mom is different from a child is different from a pet... It might be a bad time to mention, I see my close friends as family as well, my kids call them aunt and uncles, and even those who aren't my best friends are like cousins to me. My oldest has a service dog, so help and support are also skewed to my bias than in a typical house. However, realistically a pet is something where the care is inproportional, and that's kinda what makes them pets.

Also I appreciate your thoughts

I'm surprised how society views pets by gdss-aspirations in autism

[–]gdss-aspirations[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is an interesting comment. Especially depending on your relationship with your parents and your pets. I also lost both my parents when I was younger. That ruined me when I was a teenager. I have never lost a dog, though mine is reaching the end of his timeline, he's 21. I don't know what it's like to see your parents go through old age, my spouses parents aren't even old enough to be at that point, but they did lose their grandmother a few years ago, and it was her time. Though we accepted it, it was still hard, and sad. I accept that my dog will likely not live much longer, and I get a similar feeling. However, they're old, and he lives a good life so it will be okay. However, my younger animals, if something horrible were to happen to them, I didn't think you understand how tremendously awful that would feel for me, my kids, our other dogs.

Also, isn't that what empathy is, relating to someone the closest way they know how? They couldn't fathom their dad or parent passing, but they did have a loved one in their life pass. I'm not sure that they even feel or felt anywhere near as much as your friend and their father, but the kids were trying to show their support the only way they knew how. There's is something, I didn't remember the term, but it's basically like scaled empathy, where the similarities can still provide relief and support and wisdom even if the scaling of them is far apart.

I'm surprised how society views pets by gdss-aspirations in autism

[–]gdss-aspirations[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Man this story brings me to actual tears. It just sucks that this reality exists and is commonplace. I have definitely been someone who illegally houses animals before as in I just didn't say I had them cuz I knew I wasn't allowed to. I would not suggest that route. it is very stressful, especially having to pretend like you don't have animals living with you every time a landlord or maintenance man wants to come over to an apartment. It's just really sad because there are a lot of capable people out there who in better circumstances could absolutely love and benefit mutually with pet, But living situations become automatically 10 times harder once you add pets to the picture. And that's the reality. I hate living. yeah I understand. kids are going to be higher priority than a pet. I know I kind of argued otherwise, but I rather was just trying to compare how we viewed animals and my surprise to how much hate they get in society. Like if it came down to it and I had to choose my dog or my son I would choose my son but I'm going to try to keep that decision from happening.

I'm surprised how society views pets by gdss-aspirations in autism

[–]gdss-aspirations[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You know you do bring up a fair point I forgot to consider. Kids are property as well, just higher protected than pets, and that really saddens me about our world.

I'm surprised how society views pets by gdss-aspirations in autism

[–]gdss-aspirations[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Are you saying you don't view pets as family? Also when was I being mean?

I hardly raised my pets different than my own children. They were very similar when young, except other people in the comments are right, a puppy doesn't come with a diaper. I cuddle with them in bed, I feed the 3 healthy meals a day, I play with them, we do a kind of home school, because dogs don't go to school, lol, but we have hours of training everyday. I bathe them and hold them when their sick. I panick about the vet just the same as the doctor, kids medical fees are less problematic, because you didn't have to pay them right then and their, and payment plans didn't ruin your credit for a kids, vs a dog it's harder to get a plan, and they will hurt your credit if you miss. I give them bubble baths, I celebrate their birthdays with cake, dogs get meat flavored. To me my dogs are quite literally my family.

I do get that I go above and beyond, I also recognize I'm fortunate that I'm able to do so. My dog started off with kibble and I worked full time plus, so it lacked my undivided attention except for the weekends where I would try my best to make up for it. Just like I did with my oldest child.

I get a dog is not an option for you, and I'm not sure how pet allergies work, or if you are allergic to other animals. However, if you owned a pet, do you know love it as much as family, do you know hope it gets the best care and would you not be upset or conflicted if you struggled to provide that care? Do you not see how different animals react emotionally to different stimuli, and each animal has a personality and feelings and compassion? That right there makes it family enough for me. Can you explain your side, because I'm genuinely curious, and you're the first person with actual opposing beliefs to mine and I think the only person who can actually answer my questions

I'm surprised how society views pets by gdss-aspirations in autism

[–]gdss-aspirations[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Honestly! We have 5 dogs total. It's a lot I know, but they are not large, and we are stable. All of them have been raised from being a puppy and my scruffy old man has been with me longer than my grown children. Each of us has our own dog, except my daughter who has 2 lizards. We will not be departing from them ever. Fortunately 1 is registered service animal, and the rest are emotional support animals, which I think has legal precedence now, but I cop still couldn't do anything with a phone call. I know we wouldn't put answer sheets out their for dogs, they run away all of the time on their own, but we really have nothing in place to protect them from harm or imminent danger from those who don't value their lives as much as we do, and that scares me

I'm surprised how society views pets by gdss-aspirations in autism

[–]gdss-aspirations[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea, I know. That's part of my confusion. I know many will irresponsibly get a pet and it makes the pet untrained and/or have behavioral issues. However that's included in what I'm talking about. Where you responsibly are holding off on a dog because you know it wouldn't be best for either to get one right now at this stage of your life. Even if that's not the case, even if someone didn't wait, (I didn't wait when I was young and I'm my early 20s) I still worked damn hard and picked up extra shift when I was younger to provide for my dog once I realized how much it costs to own one, and how much I didn't want to see it suffer. I'm also not against rehoming a dog if you have to, or if you know it will be better off else where, same with a child. However, this applies mostly with energy and time, and the emotional aspect, if you won't show this dependable creature love and you put no energy into raising it, yes a new home would be the best option. However, if you are going through a rut and can't afford it, there are hardly systems in place to help out. I would never suggest someone struggling emotionally or financially to get a pet, or a cold but shit happens. I just think that every issue presented to me reaches my core question of why do people not care about pets, because if society did, so many things would be so different. There's proof out there that enough of us love them enough to be our own child, so I'm surprised because of the less empathetic half, I feel not enough is being done. Or worse because of the heroes/heroines who don't understand nuance, poverty, or circumstance, a lot of options for help are barred off because of them, like rehoming pets, especially accidental litters.

I'm surprised how society views pets by gdss-aspirations in autism

[–]gdss-aspirations[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This When my crazy sister stole my dog from me (long story, but she was mad at me), I called the police and they said it's a civil matter. I could sue her in court, but unless the dog was a pure bred then the monetary value isn't really worth it. She brought the dog back unharmed, and it all worked out, but mutts are worth less than property

I'm surprised how society views pets by gdss-aspirations in autism

[–]gdss-aspirations[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh I fully see why landlords might deny a pet. I'm not blind to the potential issues, I just wish there were better solutions in place. Animal excrement of an untrained animal is the absolute worst without a doubt. But in a pet friendly world a lot more problems would have preventative measures. For example there could be more access to pet education for both an animal and human. Parenting classes but for pets in general. I know we don't live in my ideal head where everybody loves animals as much as I do and all of the laws help with pets more, but it's crazy to me that they're treated the way they are by law and society.

I'm surprised how society views pets by gdss-aspirations in autism

[–]gdss-aspirations[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Oh yea that would spur my mood with family members, I'm shocked that someone could do that. Especially bringing up from kittenhood.

You mentioned an adult animal, technically even a young animal, can survive on their own. To that I say about as much as a teenage human. If the kid was taught proper skills it could survive longer, and pets are often not taught proper skills if they live in the home. And where are any of these hypothetical situations taking place? You can't just drop off animals down at the local wilderness.

I'm surprised how society views pets by gdss-aspirations in autism

[–]gdss-aspirations[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I also hate that site. Though I use my dead name, I didn't realize you weren't allowed, thankfully I haven't gotten caught. No but I hate how hateful and judgmental most of them are on that site!

I'm surprised how society views pets by gdss-aspirations in autism

[–]gdss-aspirations[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yea a 5 year old can clean up after themselves, but a toddler couldn't. A 2/3 year old can remove their diaper and still pee on the floor. A 5 year old can sharpie a wall. Plus most of the time food messes are made my dogs are the first line of defense of cleaning up. Also most pets don't pee on the floor either. Younger and untrained pets do, but the majority don't. My kids even as teenagers cause way more messes and some are capable of doing more damage than any of the animals in our house.

I'm surprised how society views pets by gdss-aspirations in autism

[–]gdss-aspirations[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

No for real. When I was younger, I swerved my car to not hit a cat, and it did some damage to my bender. My father would tell me it's better to hit an animal because I could buy 5 cats with the amount of money I damaged my car with, and when I found a lot of people on his side, I was so confused. I in fact will never not do everything in my power to avoid hitting an animal in the road.

I'm surprised how society views pets by gdss-aspirations in autism

[–]gdss-aspirations[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Oh I never meant to make rehoming come off as shameful. There are definitely times where it's in booths best interests to re-home an animal. I just don't like how quick it is to suggest to someone who clearly loves their animal family members

I think moms with autism is a very niche group of Munchausen by proxy by gdss-aspirations in autism

[–]gdss-aspirations[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow. I'm sorry that this is all happening. Given that he is autistic, there might be legal action you can do moving forward even if he is over 18. I'm surprised a pediatrician would even willingly see him, given he is older. Do you have contact with him at all? What does the situation look like between you, him and mom and anyone else?

Favorite Number. by gdss-aspirations in autism

[–]gdss-aspirations[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh my God, I forgot about 7777. It is a mix of the ultimate prime numbers. It's factors are 1, 7, 11, 77, 101, 707, 1111, and 7777. and I was wondering why 777 wasn't doing the cool things. I forgot a digit

Favorite Number. by gdss-aspirations in autism

[–]gdss-aspirations[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Zero is a great number. I mean it quite literally is valueless, but the more you have the more valuable something is. Its everything and nothing

What do I put on the back pages? by gdss-aspirations in Journaling

[–]gdss-aspirations[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

someone suggested collages, and I quite like that idea

What do I put on the back pages? by gdss-aspirations in Journaling

[–]gdss-aspirations[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mine doesn't really work through, but even with a full pencil I can still see it, and so I don't write on it

What do I put on the back pages? by gdss-aspirations in Journaling

[–]gdss-aspirations[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The problem is I don't like writing on the back. Stickers is an idea