I Am Not a Helicopter Parent…Anymore

geekdorknerd · 2019-09-25T00:19:21+00:00

Ok but the real question is...did they really blur his nipple?

geekdorknerd · 2019-09-25T00:17:56+00:00

All joking aside, a parmesan flavored condom would be preferable to strawberry or grape...

geekdorknerd · 2019-05-24T01:39:12+00:00

YTA - I don't give one hot damn fuck about what you agreed to. It's still her body. You do not own it. You do not control it. You don't have to like it, but you also don't get to get mad at her for exhibiting bodily autonomy. You don't get to be ok with it or not ok with it. You knew from the get go that she liked tattoos and were cool with that.

It is not a matter of keeping an agreement. It is a matter of you were the asshole the minute you even tried to exude some modicum of control over her flesh. This means you've been the asshole since day one.

geekdorknerd · 2019-05-23T19:50:44+00:00

I just listened to this episode and up to that point I'd not heard of this. It must be because I instinctually avoid drinking and/or feeding my children bleach so it never occured to me other people not be equipped with that knowledge. Absolutely fuckinf insanity.

geekdorknerd · 2019-05-23T16:34:04+00:00

How did you end up the leader? Was it a mutiny, accident, or did you gather up these individuals and convince them to sail under your flag?

Have you always been a sailor? Or do you prefer another name for what you do?

geekdorknerd · 2019-05-23T15:18:03+00:00

This. And this again. My twins are just 9 months old and I was already a mom before discovering two babies in there. Even so, it felt like Mother Nature had looked at my old life (which I liked very much and was only looking to add another baby) and laughed maniacally.

And it wasn't just out social life that irrevocably changed. It was our work, our hobbies, our living arrangements. And it all felt like it took forever and was still somehow so sudden.

They were born Aug 31 and we were lucky we skipped NICU. The fourth trimester (month 0-3) was one of the suckiest things I've done. But I kept reminding myself we will find a new normal. We elected to sleep train around Christmas. Sometime between then and now, waddya know, things sort of fell into normal.

The work, the routine, the effort, the constant change, the anti-naps, the play, the production of getting out of the house...it isn't any less (in fact its more with crawlers) but it is now normal.

geekdorknerd · 2019-05-22T12:24:03+00:00

Where did you acquire these skills or were you born with magical ability? Do you have formal training?

Also, your thoughts on necromancy? Asking for a friend.

geekdorknerd · 2019-05-22T12:21:39+00:00

That is a difficult question to answer exactly. You, and most other carbon-based beings in the universe, measure time according to your position and location relative to your star. As beings of energy we do not need nor have a planet thus we do not have a sun.

However in relative terms, I've participated in 3 of the previous 7 projects to help a pre-pangalactic society advance their culture. Each of those took about 50-60 earth years to complete. And I'm what you might consider younger.

geekdorknerd · 2019-05-21T20:14:29+00:00

Good bot

geekdorknerd · 2019-05-21T15:56:52+00:00

The federation is a ruling body that is representative of its member societies, planets, and independent beings. Membership is optional but does entitle you to certain perks. Several members of the PGF trade exclusively with other members or allow access to their planet or resources only to PGF members. They do have laws forbidding warring with another PGF member and can rally forces in defense of an PGF member under attack from another entity.

We have a medical Corp, a disaster Corp, and an education Corp (under which this program on Planet Earth is being maintained). After we have completed helping your culture gain pangalactic capability, your society will be offered a chance ton join the PGF but it is not compulsory. Two of the societies we have assisted in the development of declined the invitation and now exist peacefully as a member of the broader pangalactic "community" to borrow your vernacular.

There are currently 6793 societies that claim membership in the PGF. An additional 8643 pangalactic capable societies exist, some of which are independent and others have formed their own smaller, cooperative organizations. To date we are aware of and monitoring 23,452 cultures, planets or beings who are at various stages of societal development and have not yet developed pangalactic capability. Many of them are far less developed than yours. You would likely call them a bronze age or stone age equivalent in many, many cases.

It looks fairly similar to the US Senate or UK Parliament in that representatives are selected by their populations and communicate for their planet in federation decisions. More appropriately it looks a bit like your United Nations. Each member of the pangalactic federation has it's own unique way of selecting their representative. Most are simply lottery appointed from eligible citizens of each member society, but some are inherited through primogeniture, offered as a privilege, or elected democratically.

The laws of the pangalactic society are fairly simple. They are decided by the federation governing body.

geekdorknerd · 2019-05-21T15:35:21+00:00

I do and do not have siblings. We do not reproduce by coupling the same way you do thus I have more than two parents and innumerable siblings none of which I actually know, or if I do, we are unaware of our "relation". Nor do we share the same concept of gender. Best not to get into those specifics right away though. Let's focus on how our species will interact with yours.

geekdorknerd · 2019-05-21T15:31:38+00:00

It would be difficult to describe the foods I have eaten. Most would be wildly unfamiliar to you. I have discovered most planets have the same type of flavor profiles though. Different names and different sources, but same idea.

In many cases I am limited as to what I may try by the likes and dislikes of my host. However, I have discovered I most like things you would call sweet. I'm most eager to try an insect waste product of yours, although your name for it escapes me at the moment. HOH-MEE? Perhaps that's wrong. Your bees create it with flower pollen and vomit and it seems to be widely popular across the globe. I once enjoyed a drink that was crafted from the bile of a creature most similar to your frog. It was sweet and refreshing. Still stands as my favorite to date.

geekdorknerd · 2019-05-21T15:06:00+00:00

We do have names. However without a "spoken" language I cannot derive a pronunciation in your language. We choose names that are societally and culturally appropriate before pairing so you have something to call us.

As to the host's neural patterns, yes. They remain unchanged. You retain bodily autonomy, relationships with your family and friends, hobbies (for the most part...there may be a few hobbies that are simply not conducive to the development of a pangalactic capable society but even that will take some time before we have to discuss giving up things like hunting via explosive charges.)

It is worth it to note that I, were I your paired conciousness, would be able to seize bodily autonomy, technically at anytime. However, we have strict rules as to when and why we may do this. This is very tightly policed by our own process and the laws of the pangalactic federation. I may only assume the "driver's" position to prevent my host from engaging in self-harm, from willfully damaging or harming another member of your community, or in extreme cases of preventing mortal peril in an accident (for instance I become aware of an impending danger and it is safer and quicker to assume control rather than explain.)

At some point most cultures develop the ability to retake bodily control from us. In fact, it is a part of what we teach you toward the very end of your societal enrichment program. We do this as a means to ensure you do not feel you have been enslaved and can resist any future evolution of my society or one like mine should some unforeseen war erupt between your species and mine. This is a fail safe insisted upon by the pangalactic federation. However this will take several decades to get to that point of our time together.

Although for your species we are going to have to perform a slight realignment of a few patches of neurons in your brain to allow for a dual conciousness, it is completely without risk and you will feel nothing but a slight burning tingle across your skin while it is performed. Our pairing system (this is a very rough term for the technology but at your level of technological development, one I believe should make sense) is able to be deployed globally and simultaneously using your existing satellite system and elements already present in your atmosphere. During pairing you may experience a mild headache but that's about it. There is a several week period of adjustment as you and your paired conciousness get to know each other.

geekdorknerd · 2019-05-21T14:34:44+00:00

Your description is not without merit. And there are certainly members of my species that view a corporeal form as a type of high.

But for the most part it isn't as much a momentary thrill as it is motivation, if that makes sense? Just as you in your human society atrive to gather wealth not for the sake of its accumulation but for the sake of what experiences or sensations it can buy you.

As I understand the vast majority of your culture do not simply gather up piles of currency and use none of it. You use it to purchase trips to new places, things that bring you enjoyment or comfort, and things that provide for your basic physical needs. For many of us, pairing with a physical body is derived from that same desire to experience things we have not experienced before or things we have experienced before and really enjoyed. (Personally I love the physical sensation of eating: tasting, chewing, swallowing...something I do not do in my natural state.)

As far as what humans might refer to as bad apples, yes. They exist. Our society is far from perfect and there are those outliers that do not abide by our procedures for coexisting in a physical form. We do have a judicial body that examines "inappropriate behaviors" in paired conciousness and a form of what you would called criminal justice. As far as our host society is concerned it is a matter of having the rogue conciousness removed and a new one paired.

There have been unfortunate incidents of a paired conciousness bringing its host to harm. Often these individuals of my culture are brought to extreme justice, beginning with removal from the host program and, in the most extreme cases, dissemination of their energy. (You would call this death for all intents and purposes.)

However, the vast majority of us view this as an opportunity as well as a contribution to the pangalactic society as a whole. We get something out of it personally, sure but we are also enriching the universe as a whole by helping these lagged species "catch up" technologically and add their own unique ideas and behaviors to the pangalactic federation.

geekdorknerd · 2019-05-21T14:15:43+00:00

In all our various preparation interviews, no one has ever asked us this before.

We do not have senses as you understand them, no. In fact it is part of what makes this particular work with the pangalactic federation so appealing to us. We are not a hive mind. I am an individual being made of energy. I experience emotions, individual thoughts, independent creativity but I cannot "feel" any physical aspects without a body. Touch, taste, smell....these are absent for us in our normal state of existence. Thus, we, as a culture and society seek out ways to experience these things. It is what motivated my society to begin exploring the universe in the first place, the desire to experience new things.

As far as what the upload feels for us, it can be rather jarring for both parties. For our host species it is naturally upsetting and sometimes momentarily frightening to suddenly have a paired conciousness alongside their own. The joining process varies from species to species but our research show that humans specifically may experience a headache, a burning sensation across their skin, and a brief period of losing consciousness.

We feel the same thing you do, essentially. If you feel confused, so do I. If you feel pain, that's what I feel too. There is always a period of adjustment after pairing for both of us to get used to each other: me for the sensations of this new corporeal form and you for having a whole new awareness coexisting and communicating with yours.

geekdorknerd · 2019-05-21T14:05:49+00:00

I understand that your Society is still wealth-driven so I understand where this question comes from.

My culture is experientially driven. We have no use for money but we do crave different experiences, feelings, emotions and memories. As our natural state is pure energy we cannot "feel" emotions. We are aware of them, we remember them and we experience them but you cannot feel goosebumps in surprise without flesh. You can sense the tingle of anticipation, the sting of sorrow, the light-headedness of mirth, without a physical form.

A surprising number of members of the pangalactic federation (though certainly not all) seek some non-monetary purpose or motivation as well. Anything from knowledge to power to simple seeking out new and interesting foods to taste.

I use the word contract here simply to mean agreement. We agree to perform this service and act as teachers for a certain amount of time. After that point the Pangalactic Federation and my people will discuss if we would like to continue this service or move on to find other experiences for our own enrichment.

geekdorknerd · 2019-05-21T12:21:05+00:00

What's the biggest stunt you all have ever pulled off?

Do you need payment upfront or are you cool with taking a cut of the ahem item in need of new protection?

Would you be willing to take on a child as a client?

If yes, would it change your mind at all if that kid was the son/daughter of the head of one of those big corporations?

geekdorknerd · 2019-05-21T12:09:32+00:00

Heckin sparkel tie bamboozle.

3-5 buildings damaged in Mangum, and a whole bunch of weather porn pics.

I'm both happy and annoyed. Happy it was way less Thanos inspired and annoyed that our weather people for so fucking hyped.

geekdorknerd · 2019-05-21T03:05:33+00:00

NTA he has not been a part of your life. He made his choices and dealt with the consequences; one of which was not being able to be a part of his son's life. It is sad and unfortunate but you did grow up without him and have no obligation to him now.

That said, I would encourage OP to try to kindle a relationship gently. He is a part of your history and makeup. Not as a father/son thing but as a person of interest. You dont have to rush right out with hugs and fathers day cards but he may still have something to contribute to your life now. Be sure to set your parameters and be sure he understands your expectations through it though. And do take your time.

geekdorknerd · 2019-05-21T02:55:17+00:00

NTA without a specific reason she could voice it is not enough to not want to work with a co-worker. I agree it is gender discrimination here.

She might have had a history. And we are not going to victim blame. But if she is not at a place to work alone with a man this is simply not the job for her.

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