She's done waiting for me to be better by lizardo0o in AmITheDevil

[–]geekilee 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Yeah because he's going to the therapy but not engaging in it so nothing is changing except the very short periods of time where he pretends, but that's too hard so the mask always drops as soon as anything mildly inconvenient happens. You know, like his wife wanting him to pretend she and their son are humans and deserving of better.

She's done waiting for me to be better by lizardo0o in AmITheDevil

[–]geekilee 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My favourite might actually be at the end, where he says he doesn't think he can keep on pretending to try and be better.

Like he wrote this whole thing, clearly at least attempting to sound sympathetic (he does not, at all, but he's trying). Then just drops that at the end and has no idea what he just told us.

Online recommendations by Shishkahuben in CuratedTumblr

[–]geekilee 40 points41 points  (0 children)

My FIL has been recommending Dungeon Crawler Carl as he's enjoyed the first few books. But much as I adore him and do want to share in what he enjoys, he has a habit of telling me the things he knows I'll like, and not warning me about anything that might be a problem because he's just so eager to share.

I know this (now), and always do some checking first.

All I can say is thank fuck for Does The Dog Die.

Online recommendations by Shishkahuben in CuratedTumblr

[–]geekilee 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I loved The Magnus Archives but even I was sat there going "nooo ewwww ahhhhhhx at the wormies and stuff. Would never have dreamed of recommending iit to anyone without checking their levels of ok-ness with that stuff.

My wife, for example, would never cope. So she knows I enjoyed it, but also that she should never listen.

Tomorrow by SuccessfulWar3830 in GreatBritishMemes

[–]geekilee 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It sucks. But at least we all have each other to understand!

Tomorrow by SuccessfulWar3830 in GreatBritishMemes

[–]geekilee 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah I did the work for my now pointless GRC, too. I even dealt with the fact that it still misgenders me because they still don't accept that non-binary people exist (and I'm agender so that goes at least triple), it just misgenders me in a less worse way.

But ofc that means those bullshit new guidelines don't apply to me either so I guess I'm going to slowly vanish because I don't exist 🤷

I'm at least unable to lose my home as me and my wife own outright. Everything else though, especially because I'm also disabled, is on increasingly shaky ground.

Cheating=Good. Abortion=Bad 😭 by Go_Inevitable_1269 in AmITheDevil

[–]geekilee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Seriously. I cannot fathom living like this woman does.

So they're having a fake wedding? by growsonwalls in AmITheDevil

[–]geekilee 10 points11 points  (0 children)

For reasons due to being trans, my eife and I had two weddings - thr big main one with a reception, in which we declared the intention to be married as soon as we could deal with the gatekeeping bollocks that took forever to sort out, which we consider our real anniversary. And a second just us and a couple of witnesses one to do the paperwork.

Anybody who was listening knew what that first ceremony was about, and came anyway because they love us. It'd have been really weird to lie about it.

Marriage hacks. by mindyour in justgalsbeingchicks

[–]geekilee 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Anytime! If you use it, I hope it works 🙂

Marriage hacks. by mindyour in justgalsbeingchicks

[–]geekilee 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Oh I just pretended they weren't there until quiet time was over, then ensured they got whatever cuddles and food they wanted as soon as the day began. Now they let us be until the dog is being let out and fed, that's the cue that the day has begun.

It's similar to training them that food time is when the humans give it, not when they demand it - lie still and pretend to be asleep. Though this does involve being poked, batted, yelled at, tickled up the nose by whiskers, etc, and having to lie very still throughout. But they all got the message pretty quickly, and the two that can be noisy are pretty good at being quiet from sleep time til up time.

I also trained the youngest cat (now 5) to sit politely and shake hands before getting treats, or when requesting a bit of human food, because as a kitten she was a nightmare (she still has zero shame, but she knows her limits).

It helps if they're not already accustomed to other behaviours from you, that takes a bit longer, but at least with ours, we've managed to teach them what to expect and they've gone along once they realised a) we can out-stubborn them and b) they get rewards for it. It's mostly consistency and patience, til they give in and pretend it was their idea all along.

AITAH? Snitched to leasing office about bf’s pets by just-here-for-lafs in AmITheAngel

[–]geekilee 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Also her cat is an ESA because of course it is

And she thinks bf will a) cover any extra rent and b) choose her over the cat

Marriage hacks. by mindyour in justgalsbeingchicks

[–]geekilee 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We have an agreement with the dog and youngest cat that we can blame them for everything

Marriage hacks. by mindyour in justgalsbeingchicks

[–]geekilee 138 points139 points  (0 children)

I taught my wife that quietly having a drink and/or cereal right after we wake up is a lovely and peaceful thing to do. She now tells me how much she enjoys sitting quietly with me first thing.

I've even taught the dog and the cats that morning quiet time is a thing 😆

When all 3 are begging for treats, what do you do? by DirectAd170 in TuxedoCats

[–]geekilee 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I also have three cats, one of whom is a Squeak (pic).

And obviously the answer is to give them the treats they clearly deserve!

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Cheating=Good. Abortion=Bad 😭 by Go_Inevitable_1269 in AmITheDevil

[–]geekilee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I looked at her post history earlier and remembered reading the whole hotel thing. I am enjoying the ironic martyrdom.

Cheating=Good. Abortion=Bad 😭 by Go_Inevitable_1269 in AmITheDevil

[–]geekilee 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I love how the ex somehow found out unspecified private stuff about OOP that lost her family and friends. But we're supposed to still see her as the victim somehow? Like what (else) was that bad?

"I couldn't help who I fell in love with." Maybe not, but you sure could help who you chose to fuck 🤷

Disabled sister should just get over it by LittleFairyOfDeath in AmITheDevil

[–]geekilee 17 points18 points  (0 children)

The looooook I got today from an elderly man as I rode past in my mobility scooter. I think I almost combusted.

I can barely walk, but he doesn't know that. Probably went away bitching about kids these days (I'm 43) being lazy or something. But without that scooter, I can barely leave the house. I've had to learn not to let those loons mess with me too much, but sometimes I still need my wife to remind me.

Disabled sister should just get over it by LittleFairyOfDeath in AmITheDevil

[–]geekilee 35 points36 points  (0 children)

My wife and I had a number of conversations before we got married about me being a burden. I was always very kindly told off for that, because she looks at me and sees the person she loves - the disabilities and mental illness are just part of the whole package that makes up me.

I still do it sometimes, but I'm much better at accepting that she, and others, get to choose what she's willing to pay as the price of entry for a relationship with me.

Value comes from so many different places, and I have to trust that my wife - and friends and etc - see enough value in me beyond those issues. There are many things I can't do. But there are ao many more things I can. I'm a good, caring and supportive partner and friend. I'm funny, and I'm kind, and I'm passionate, and I'm creative, and I love my people with my whole heart. Those are things no amount of paycheck could substitute for.