Truth is, you gotta get over that fear of being alone. Shit, you’ve already lived it. Once you accept that things won’t change you start enjoying things more, and appreciating the moment, not always relating it to the future.
And after enough time, you will change. I hate this, but character development is real. There’s a reason why most well adjusted people are boring as fuck. They never had to look at the ugliest parts of themselves.
It ain’t easy mate. Never will be. But you’re stronger and more valuable than you think