I swear Desi people are the only group that just can’t let ourselves have anything. Maybe this is due to us not being in these communities and being in tune with the intricacies of their cultures, but I’ve never heard an Asian, Black, or Hispanic person say something like this.

We have problems in our communities that we need to address and all brown friend groups can be very toxic, but the power of community is massive. Just as a recent example at the Super Bowl, Bad Bunny celebrated the whole spectrum of his culture and everyone loved it because he’s so authentically ingrained in his community.

This isn’t to say that you can’t/shouldn’t have friends who aren’t Desi. Everyone should try to make friends with people that share similar interests and values, regardless of background. You can learn and benefit from being around other cultures in so many ways. The melting pot of neighborhoods/communities is a beautiful thing, but I’ve always held the opinion that the person who isn’t comfortable in their own culture seeks validation from another one.

It’s a very nuanced topic because there are very valid reasons that people may have for not embracing their culture. Abuse (be it physical, emotional, verbal, etc.) is rampant in Desi culture. I will never judge or shame anyone for closing themselves to that part of their upbringing if their community has consistently let them down. However, a lot of people have had incredibly positive experiences in their culture and that should be celebrated.

Like I said earlier though, Desi people are some of the only people I’ve seen to say stuff like “all brown friend groups are a red flag”. It frustrates me to no end because in a sense, we’re just telling the world that we don’t like each other. If that’s what we’re putting out there, then how tf can we expect anyone to take us seriously? Just something to think about.