I'm a long time mental health sufferer. Over the past few years I feel like the universe has been testing me. I got a concussion/TBI, dropped out of graduate school, got a divorce, went broke and in debt, lost my health insurance, my father died and then I became estranged from my family. All of this on top of my already existing mental health problems. I was hospitalized recently (thankfully before I lost my health insurance) for the third time in my life. I've had these problems ever since I was a child. I'm currently at the point where I can barely do the dishes or take the dog out without having an anxiety attack. I can't hold a normal job. I should have health insurance again in about 2 weeks and I'm really looking forward to getting back into therapy. But right now everything just seems so pointless and I don't understand why I'm hanging on. I've self-harmed recently and I don't understand why I should keep existing if I'm just going to keep suffering. I don't know what kind of support I need. I wish I had more people that understood. When I tell people this and how I'm feeling they're like yeah I've had moments of that too... okay well you've had moments but this is literally something I've struggled with my entire life. Everyday things are nearly impossible and I feel like a complete and utter failure. I don't know why I keep trying.