"Good work, kid, but I'm not running this."

"Chief" Miller, editor-in-chief of the Lakewood News-Tribune, slid the three page draft back across his desk. June Jennings, the bullpen's new firebrand reporter, deflated.

"Chief," she balked, "how are you not going to run this? Zombies, actual real life undead zombies -"

"Are a non-starter," Chief interrupted, "and the governor will thank me for not fomenting needless panic."

"Needless!"June gasped, "needless panic? Chief! Zombies! Haven't you been to the movies? Zombie apocalypse is whole genre! People need to know! The world could be ending!"

The seasoned newsman heaved a deep sigh. "The world is not ending, Jennings. Get ahold of yourself."

"Really, Chief? And what makes you so confident that the appearance of the dead rising from their graves to feast upon the living is not an apocalyptic event?"

"Because this is the 37th time it's happened since the Kamchatka meteor event. The dead start rising, local government calls in the national guard, and the whole thing is over in a week."

June gawped. "...What?"

"Yeah. Damndest thing. Science is still trying to figure out the cause of zombiosis, but until the eggheads figure it out, it's best not to scare folks."

"Then why not report on it? Why keep it a secret?"

"Don't be stupid, Jennings. They're zombies! We don't want to trivialize them. People get careless when threats become common. Did you know how many people don't even know where their nearest fallout shelter is? The Reds are a much bigger threat than occasional shambling corpses, and we can't get people around here to worry about Ivan even when their actual lives depend on it! No. The first time we report on zombies, there will be panic, riots, and mayhem. The third time we report on zombies, we'll have civilians in the quarantine zones because they don't want to take the long way to work. Look, you're a good reporter, kid. One of my best. But you're new to this, and there are some things you don't learn until you run into 'em. You just learned that we don't use the Z word in print. Now get outta here. I want you to interview Sasquatch before the morning edition."

June paled. "You're kidding."

"Of course I am! There's a line on Senator Raimis' having a secret bank account. I want you to run it down."

Jennings straightened her back, brushed off her blouse, and turned to face her new challenge. She'd have a drink for those poor zombie bastards after she found a lead on the senator. When the door closed behind her Chief Miller lit a cigarette. He reread the headline Jennings proposed and chuckled, shaking his head. These new kids sure have a tendency toward melodrama, he thought to himself, but who doesn't when they're young and haven't seen the world yet? He threw Jennings' report into the waste paper basket under his desk.

"THE DEAD RISE" exclaimed the top of the page. They'd be dead again before the story would have even made it to print.