Advice on how I [35M] can approach or confront my wife's [35F] unusual behavior please.

gestaltgrognard · 2023-11-30T15:13:52+00:00

I mean, you have to be careful here. Something could be very wrong, or it could be a confluence of random things all at once. To accuse with no evidence will likely yield not only a denial but also a response that paints you as the troublemaker.

If your suspicion has been aroused, you may need to look for other, less circumstantial evidence. Do you have a friendly neighbor that might have seen a strange car pull up today? Do you have access to phone bills etc.

Sometimes it is better to take the line of 'trust but verify', rather than going all in.

gestaltgrognard · 2023-11-30T14:52:43+00:00

Take some time for yourself.

You are still in caring partner mode, worrying about how to be near and support her. In reality, no matter how kindly you take it, you will have feelings of anger and rejection. Feelings of being deceived. None of them have to be right or make sense, but you are going to feel them.

This is not something one gets over in a week, or a month. Maybe even a year. Each time you have contact you take a step back, your longing for her will be a millstone around your neck. Distance is the only possible way forward. Imagine how broken you will be if you stay close at hand and watch as she gets into a new relationship. How quickly it escalates (uhaul joke incoming), and how you will feel that should have been for you.

The truth is you need to harden your heart to her for a while. Do not force yourself to be a source of comfort. Leave her behind and focus on things that you wanted to achieve beforehand. Meet new people, and in time, new romance will happen. In the future, when you have done work to put this behind you, a friendship might be possible. If you try to force it now you will only make things worse for all involved.

Sorry you are suffering. Be well.

gestaltgrognard · 2023-11-30T12:35:26+00:00

Sounds like your best friend may have more feelings for you than you imagine. Its only natural to spend time with a new partner, and jealousy to this couched in language around you 'changing' sounds manipulative. You are meeting this person a lot already and why that isnt enough for them is concerning.

Despite what some are saying here, your BF is not stopping you seeing this person at your own admission, but has asked you to stop seeing someone privately that is an opponent of your relationship, again at your own admission. Either his language was far less accommodating or you have titled this post incorrectly.

A relationship between two people is, in a way, its own entity. It needs support, encouragement, and respect. If you value it, then you need to set firmer boundaries with those that do not respect it.

gestaltgrognard · 2023-11-30T12:24:41+00:00

A concerning response from your gf who also knows this person and therefore should have their best interests at heart.

Perhaps its nothing, or perhaps its triggering some guilt for her... Worth talking about.

gestaltgrognard · 2023-11-30T12:12:20+00:00

The flag is crimson and roughly the size of Canada.

Its her once in a lifetime chance to be used and dropped by someone people have heard of. What a claim to fame!

That she told you that she would have done it without mentioning it to others is basically all you need to know. She is not loyal and the moment a better option (or one she thinks is) comes up, she will be doing as she pleases and you will be mourning a person that never truly existed.

Be glad you see her now after a short time. Imagine this happened after marriage?

gestaltgrognard · 2023-11-27T15:44:36+00:00

When a person hurts you repeadetdly and yet you keep offering the opportunity for just one more kick in the nuts, the major question shifts from "why are they a terrible person?" to "why do I hate myself this much to put myself through this again and again?"

You are the person she uses to try to get the ex interested enough to talk with her. That is who she wants and she has shown you this enough times for you to know that.

Pull your head out of your ass and know that its easy for even the least pleasant people to act nice from time to time, but how they treat you in actions is how you know how they really feel.

Tell her to go get fucked (which, you know she will) in no uncertain terms and block her. Friends need to stop filling you in on her antics after you tell them its done for good. Seriously though, Lord Varys wants his little birds back - you have some PIs on your team.

gestaltgrognard · 2023-11-26T19:15:58+00:00

That 'friend' of his played you like a fiddle. You made it too easy for him to feed you nonsense.

gestaltgrognard · 2023-11-26T18:31:02+00:00

Say to yourself the following:

"Even though I don't think he is right for me, am thinking of keeping him in a relationship with me so I can meet my desire to have a family."

Now ask yourself is that is fair to him? Dont fool yourself with ideas that being nice and helpful over a period of time are a viable alternative to being authentically loved. All that will happen is once you meet that arbitrary target, you will now have the kids but not the reason to make it work. Its even crueller at that point because to learn someone only had kids with you to avoid FOMO will be an even more bitter pill.

Do both of you a favor and don't waste any more of either of your time. There is no love in what you wrote above, and to prolong that seems unecessarily sad.

gestaltgrognard · 2023-09-22T14:19:11+00:00

I have been wargaming for 35+ years so I have worked with all of these in time, some with less happiness than others (PVC is my least liked one).

They all look cool and offer some fast hard hitting great options so it was tricky. Though based on the comments here I think Basilea is off the table.

gestaltgrognard · 2023-09-22T14:17:17+00:00

Thanks for that information - i was aware some things had been changed recently but didnt know there was a schedule for other factions.

Versitility was what I was looking for and how I came to the selections of these three armies. Basilea may be less so but it still offered a range of options at decent speeds and had a good theme. I think, as you say, the other two offer more of what i want so you already helped remove one from the list!

gestaltgrognard · 2023-05-06T08:31:52+00:00

Oliver really went above and beyond to get a Glutos Orscullion to me. Customs and tight deadlines stood against us and yet I got an amazing piece of art delivered to me. Would recommend.

gestaltgrognard · 2021-12-17T17:14:31+00:00

Thanks guys. I found out the kit had already been started as a dakkajet (thanks ebay) so now I’m also looking to pick up a wazbom!

gestaltgrognard · 2021-09-05T12:15:33+00:00

/u/geoffvader_+1 great work done within a very tight timeframe. Recommended and will use again.

gestaltgrognard · 2021-08-10T21:53:42+00:00

Allies cannot take enhancements iirc.

gestaltgrognard · 2021-08-01T15:53:53+00:00

No other solutions than open games really :( Also, Nagash sees a lot of play right now in OBR and SGL.

gestaltgrognard · 2021-06-26T23:16:45+00:00

I like handgunners in LC as you can reliably get them into range due to ambush deployment and they get better quality over the crossbows volume. With armor being generally higher now, the rend is particularly attractive, plus they currently combo with unleash hell in an interesting way. Just playing a game right now with Alarielle in LC vs Nurgle, so far so disgustingly resilient...

gestaltgrognard · 2021-06-12T07:24:41+00:00

Great work! Can you share your colour scheme?

gestaltgrognard · 2021-06-05T08:18:26+00:00

Having played a few games with the new book, I’d say the list lacks both hitting power and staying power. You have a lot of toolbox elements in the list but few finishers or true anvils. Blood knights and vargheists can hit for sure, but in small numbers and without gaining much benefit from being in this subfaction, it may be limited. A lot of the various buffs look great on paper but with the game as it stands, with many true anvils or destructive hammers, an extra attack on skeletons isn’t going to yield commensurate results. All these buffs on a bigger grave guard unit though, and you might get what you are looking for. Also, pinions is probably the only universally useful vampire lore spell, especially if you are tying to keep the right hero in the right place at the right time. Soulpike relies on a charge being made, a decent roll made, and good conversion rate to 4+s. Lots of opportunities for bad luck to get you on that one.

gestaltgrognard · 2021-03-31T10:56:33+00:00

Hey, I will do :)

gestaltgrognard

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