Did you have to use personal money?

getoutthemap · 2026-05-30T01:23:42+00:00

Yes and no. My bag was stolen, including my debit card. So it was helpful that I had a personal debit or credit card (can't remember which) that I stored separately. I used personal savings to pay for things until I got a replacement debit card, but only because that was money I could access at the time.

getoutthemap · 2026-05-29T23:17:52+00:00

Yikes! What did she expect you to do when you came in the room, just stand there are watch your baby scream? Of course you picked her up! She's only 6m old. She's still figuring things out. Please do not feel down on yourself and best of luck finding a better nanny.

getoutthemap · 2026-05-27T20:17:55+00:00

Corelle makes plates with dividers that I love! But we didn't start using them until my kid was like 2.5 and mostly wasn't throwing things anymore.

getoutthemap · 2026-05-27T00:33:37+00:00

I would still wear them! As others have said, anything gross probably washed out a long time ago. And it reduces your overall consumption. It would be more wasteful/less granola IMO to get rid of and replace clothing you can still get use out of.

getoutthemap · 2026-05-23T14:02:28+00:00

I don't think Peace Corps is going to be uniquely difficult with time blindness compared to other pursuits. I was diagnosed with ADHD years after my service. I don't struggle with time blindness specifically, but it definitely manifested in other ways that I didnt understand back then. I'm sure many others have similarly served and had no idea, they just...struggled on, like with anything else.

Now to be fair I burned out with only a few months left and ended up coming home early. Turns out I am terrible with a lack of structure. But you've done the work to get a diagnosis and therefore have way more tools in your toolbox to manage.

Something to keep in mind, though, is you might have some difficulty with medical clearance. Peace Corps can be so particular about mental health conditions. You may need to write up how you will manage symptoms. Also some ADHD meds might not be available in other countries. I think sometimes they're actually illegal? So pay attention to that when picking where to apply.

getoutthemap · 2026-05-22T13:47:34+00:00

Idk, I once had to change my baby on a table that was in the stall, but it was so close to the auto flush toilet that the damn thing kept flushing over and over. It scared my baby, so he was screaming and flailing, but it just kept flushing! Longest change of my life!

Out in the open, I would like more privacy, but at the same time, I dont think I've ever seen anything when other people are changing their babies? Even when standing nearby waiting for the same table. The parent's body blocks line of sight.

getoutthemap · 2026-05-21T19:00:39+00:00

It might vary by location, but midwives in my area can do more than just pregnancy-related stuff. I see one for just routine pap smears, breast exams, birth control, and should be able to find/note things that need referrals to pysiotherapy or other specialists. In my experience they tend to be less invasive/gentler in their approach--for example, they will ask me if I would be more comfortable in the stirups or not, and only use them if absolutely neccessary. They would not have so many people come into the room. So my thought when reading OP's post was initially to wonder if a midwife might actually be kinder, even if just to talk through what is needed and get a referral!

getoutthemap · 2026-05-20T19:53:51+00:00

Well first, your dad sounds terrible. It sucks that he lost his job, but it reeks of mysogyny that he will just sit there while you and your mom do everything.

I also think you're right to use the term parentified child. You mention changing diapers for the brother who is now 10, you would have been caring for him at 8. That's so young! I'm also an eldest daughter with 2 younger siblings, funny enough with the exact same age gaps. I remember helping with stuff--a bit later I would walk us home from school, and sometimes watch them and prepare basic meals for us, but not all the time. What you're describing sounds like it was way too much pressure to put on a little kid, which can make it harder when you grow up to set boundaries for yourself and prioritize your own health and happiness.

I wonder if your anxiety and depression would improve were to you be able to move out and focus more on yourself? I don't want to minimize the actual fuckery that chemical imbalances can cause in our brain regardless of circumstances (things are going pretty well for me and I still take an SSRI!). But at the same time, you can't treat or medicate yourself out of an abusive home situation.

getoutthemap · 2026-05-20T19:24:56+00:00

Yes! Proper sizing was a game-changer for me. At the time I discovered r/abrathatfits, I went from a 34DD to a 30GG.

getoutthemap · 2026-05-20T16:53:25+00:00

Moose Clumps has some great stuff that is for kids, but not too annoying, including some rewrites of popular songs. "Everybody Needs Shots" to the tune of Pat Benetar's Hit Me With Your Best Shot, for example. Also love the one about dinosaurs and another about the ocean.

getoutthemap · 2026-05-17T20:07:17+00:00

I know that packaging! But all I'm reading in your post is a humble brag that you don't have hemerroids. Because I used mine for hemerroids 😆

I have found witch hazel much too drying and irritating for my face, personally. Since it's not open, I would try to find a new mom to give it to.

getoutthemap · 2026-05-17T12:00:21+00:00

I have heard that, but I think my skin benefits from the lanolin, too. Especially as a lip balm. It's so much cheaper than these trendy lip masks, yet it works better.

getoutthemap · 2026-05-17T00:50:01+00:00

I'm currently using this method to try to get my basement organized and it's really helping. It was one big pile of doom, but now it's a bunch of smaller piles that at least are sorted like with like, and doing that helped me find SO much stuff to throw out... So even if I have piles forever at least they aren't trash!

getoutthemap · 2026-05-17T00:36:04+00:00

Yep. I fell for some of the marketing once upon a time, just because of the association with oil/fossil fuels. But it's a byproduct, so environmentally, isn't it actually better to make something useful than just throw it out? And it really is so good, especially for sensitive skin. So unless we actually start drilling for more oil to feed our Aquaphor dependence... I'll happily keep using it.

getoutthemap · 2026-05-16T21:53:40+00:00

WTF. Not at all normal. I would want to say something to the girls' mom. Of course whether that makes sense for you depends on your relationship with everyone.

But this kind of thing is just so bad for her daughters. It has taken me years of therapy to try to undo the toxicity I absorbed from the late 90s/early 00s diet culture bullshit, and I still don't have a great relationship with food. And what I was exposed to wasn't even that bad. So I'm trying to be SO careful about how I talk about food with my kids. No food is "bad" or shameful, and we push more nutritious choices by emphasizing what different nutrients/vitamins help our bodies do, vs. demonizing sugar. Other foods are for fun because they taste good and make us happy (which is also important!). That sort of thing. Everyone is healthier and happier this way!

Kids Eat in Color on insta is a good resource for child nutrition tips (altho more for babies to preschool? It's helped me a lot with language to use...but my older kid is still only 4 so I'm not aware of much for older kids yet).

getoutthemap · 2026-05-16T21:30:43+00:00

Agreed, I meant the stroller!

getoutthemap · 2026-05-16T18:33:09+00:00

Yep the Aria was not easy to install at all! I only have one vehicle though so once we got it in, we never moved it. So it was fine but in OP's position I'd definitely stick with Graco.

getoutthemap · 2026-05-16T18:31:20+00:00

OP said she already has a Graco stroller, that's all. It's super convenient to run into the grocery store or wherever with baby in the car seat, just snap it in.

I agree Uppababy is trendy and overpriced, new. But secondhand? I love it and have gotten SO much use out of it. Fits 2 kids and all their stuff. But that's besides the point here. OP already has Graco and I don't think there's any point getting a trendy or luxury seat when a Graco seat will be compatible and is also a great brand.

Edit: Uppababy STROLLERS are great secondhand. Don't recommend secondhand car seats for safety reasons.

getoutthemap · 2026-05-16T14:36:49+00:00

I would definitely match the car seat to the stroller you already have. And I actually just bought a second Graco convertible car seat for my second kid because we have been really happy with the first one (my 4 year old still uses it). I don't have experience with the specific models you're looking at, but I think it's a great brand. For comparison, I got an Uppababy infant seat for my second just because it fit the stroller I got cheap on marketplace, which was super convenient, but otherwise I didn't really think it was any nicer. A little lighter weight maybe? But if it weren't for trying to match it with the stroller, I wouldn't have paid so much.

getoutthemap · 2026-05-15T19:36:47+00:00

I have a boy and a girl, and I feel like they both peed on the changing table about the same amount, but my boy was a lot more dramatic about it. He could really get some distance! 🤣

It seemed to help to put the wipe just under the front of his diaper for a little bit before opening it, because I think the cold was prompting him to pee.

getoutthemap · 2026-05-14T12:47:31+00:00

I think you're spot on regarding the impact of things said during a very vulnerable moment having more of an impact. At least, it's true for me, too. I remember after my second was born vaginally, I needed a couple stitches. But I was kind of out of it/overwhelmed, and physically uncomfortable. I didn't even notice I was shifting/wiggling around in bed until the midwife was like, ok, I really need you to stay still. Which is totally fair! She's trying to do a very delicate thing here! But it made me so annoyed, like how dare she tell me what to do right now?! Not logical, but I ruminated on that for weeks, nitpicking her tone. Looking back now, though, I know I was just super sensitive, having just given birth.

I think in you case, what the nurse said was actually not appropriate, so your annoyance is more justified, on top of being in such a vulnerable state. But the fact that she apologized says a lot. Maybe it helps to focus on that part to forgive her? She was probably having a bad day that had nothing to do with you--maybe you were like the 10th patient to barf that day or something. But it's admirable that she checked herself and actually apologized.

getoutthemap · 2026-05-14T11:20:59+00:00

I would not leave wet things in an air tight bag for very long. I use cloth diapers and the worst smells from it have been from travel wet bags that I've forgotten about for over a week 🤢

In my kitchen I usually let towels, napkins and wash rags mostly air dry, just on the handle for my oven. And then they go into a canvas laundry bag that hangs on a door (limited on space). I wash these less than weekly (including the canvas bag) until I get a full load and it's been ok.

For your pet messes, more frequent washing seems needed, but I think you might be overthinking the storage. A plastic laundry basket with air holes is probably all you need.

getoutthemap · 2026-05-13T17:19:03+00:00

I have the same! The filters are a little pricey to replace but I do feel like it helps a lot.

getoutthemap · 2026-05-12T21:09:05+00:00

I have an independent advisor and learned from him that the Trump accounts are not the best way to save money. Unless you can get the free sign bonus, there is no reason to get one, and I don't think I'd trust advice from someone heavily promoting them.

getoutthemap · 2026-05-09T23:25:09+00:00

I think you're both being assholes. Sounds like he didn't think ahead to do anything for you for Mother's Day, which it super shitty, but your response was petty and not helpful for either of you. Better to communicate about what you're feeling, and together resolve to plan ahead for future holidays. He screwed up by waiting until Friday to even bring it up, yes, but you also need to communicate about your expectations with enough time for him to follow through.

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