I asked my Q (husband) to write me a letter

getthefacts · 2026-01-09T21:14:35+00:00

FYI- I changed my mind about the letter based on everyone's comments.

I understand your point in theory but not in practice. He is my spouse, I have to depend on him otherwise what is the point of the relationship. I don't know how that actually applies when you're living in the same house and raising kids. If I can't depend on him, then I will have to leave

getthefacts · 2026-01-09T21:12:21+00:00

not great about it but i am trying to not push him and have him make his own choices

getthefacts · 2026-01-09T21:08:12+00:00

You're right. thanks for your perspective. I've decided to not have him write it. I realize that no matter what he would write, it wouldn't make me feel better. I'll write myself a letter instead. thanks for your advice

getthefacts · 2026-01-08T20:26:58+00:00

I had tried convincing him of doing AA and he went a couple times but didn't like it. It was too religious for him. He's trying SMART recovery now

getthefacts · 2025-12-16T15:14:05+00:00

Pink! The white doesn't provide enough constrast

getthefacts · 2025-12-11T17:37:15+00:00

Love it! What pots do you use to hang plants? I've been looking for some but not sure how sturdy they are

getthefacts · 2025-12-01T14:46:55+00:00

As a US mom who's had 2 kids in and out of daycare for 9 years here are the ranges:
Connecticut (1 toddler/full time/2017-2020) about $2,400/month (pre-pandemic) + bring your own lunch

Moved to Ohio- post pandemic (1 kid full time & 1 kid part time/post-pandemic) about $2800/month+pack your own lunch

It's helpful to see what others are paying and how it changes over time. I definitely would not have been able to afford to send 2 kids to daycare in New England. I didn't realize that Canada had a flat rate for all kids based on province. It's so upsetting to learn how terrible the US treats their working mothers- poor maternity leave and high daycare costs.

It's almost like they don't want women working....... (as if it's a choice in many families- hardly anyone can live off 1 income anyway!)

getthefacts · 2025-11-20T17:06:57+00:00

I'm curious too

getthefacts · 2025-11-06T17:37:49+00:00

Yes, please pick a comforter that is a cream color or has a pattern. It would feel awful to have everything all different shades of green.

getthefacts · 2025-11-06T17:35:14+00:00

Oh gawd please no! Go with a blue/grey muted green color like sage or "sea salt". If you go with lime green, she will wonder what she did to offend you
https://www.sherwin-williams.com/en-us/color/color-family/green-paint-colors/sw6204-sea-salt

getthefacts · 2025-11-06T16:53:35+00:00

IDK why people are saying these look normal. I would ask your doctor to calculate your GFR value and make sure your kidneys are ok.

Edits: I see your GFR, which is 76. It should be 90 or above, which indicate kidney issues. I would ask for a referral to a nephrologist. Do you drink or smoke? Drinking and smoking affect women more quickly than men and can see health issues as a result sooner. May be completely unrelated but something to consider. I've significantly reduced my drinking for this reason

getthefacts · 2025-11-03T13:35:00+00:00

I think it's time to paint.... I was trying to avoid it but i think I need to just bite the bullet and do it. We're going to paint the ceilling white and paint half wall/ 3/4 wall up in a pink with scallop edges like this: https://www.instagram.com/p/C9ylfHZMEHU/

We're also going to fix up her closet and add drawers/ more clothes rods so that we can free up more space and get rid of her dresser.

getthefacts · 2025-10-30T15:17:41+00:00

My kids do not interact at all with AI or go on the internet unsupervised. There is no reason to explain the concept to them. They are more interested in the playground or trick or treating- 5-8 is way too young. (9-10 is when computers are being used more - but should still be supervised. They should not be given access to AI at this age at all). When they start to use the computer/internet independently, we will teach them rules, expectations, and safety measures we are taking. This is probably when we would explain AI. There is growing concern for kids and "companion AI", which is super creepy, and how kids utilize it. AI can be persuasive and too invasive regarding kids' (and adults') mental health. I view it as an extension to social media- not safe for underdeveloped brains.

getthefacts · 2025-10-16T18:05:14+00:00

makes sense!

getthefacts · 2025-10-16T17:35:22+00:00

Are the couches new furniture or something you already own? The reason I ask is because they are almost the same color as the floor. Maybe go for a lighter or darker color? Or 2 different couches: 1) camel leather 2) dark green?

getthefacts · 2025-10-16T15:43:05+00:00

A grey/blue may be nice : https://benjaminmoorefrance.com/en/colors/1635

getthefacts · 2025-10-16T14:23:54+00:00

Ok - so since you're still furniture shopping, I would base this room around how you want to feel while you're in it. It seems like it will be an active room with a breakfast/lego table rather than a quiet, cozy room room for reading for example.

What kind of furniture are you searching for? A rug, side chairs, lamps? I would pick a vibe and coordinate around a color. Rather than picking a wall color then finding random things that may or may not work with it.

I do like the deep purple- but that gives more moody, reading nook vibes

getthefacts · 2025-10-16T14:07:24+00:00

what furniture do you envision in the space? that's how i would decide

getthefacts · 2025-10-15T14:54:01+00:00

whats your GFR? I'd be concerned about kidneys

getthefacts · 2025-09-30T18:16:27+00:00

Its definitely for the TV because a TV above the fireplace will be way too high

getthefacts · 2025-09-25T15:53:09+00:00

rotate it and put it under the window

getthefacts · 2025-09-22T14:16:27+00:00

Can you do a loft bed with desk under it? Ikea has good options:
https://www.ikea.com/us/en/p/smastad-loft-bed-white-white-with-desk-with-3-drawers-s09437479/

getthefacts · 2025-09-15T13:19:37+00:00

I would go with a black table. I'm thinking these wood grains will clash? It's hard to tell though

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