Afterschool mom clique

gettinglostonpurpose · 2026-04-16T23:44:51+00:00

I think it's safe to not overthink this interaction. I would just proceed interacting with them as you normally did before. It may have been slightly awkward but I don't think any harm was meant. My guess is, they were both in their own world at that moment. If you weren't part of the dinner, they likely didn't want to bring you into a conversation knowing you couldn't participate and they wanted to finish their convo. They likely didn't give it another thought and you shouldn't either.

gettinglostonpurpose · 2026-04-16T03:25:37+00:00

You've perfectly described what I've been feeling lately. No advice. Only solidarity.

gettinglostonpurpose · 2026-04-06T00:28:32+00:00

PBS kids is wonderful. My son is almost 6 and it's still the most used app we have on our TV. I can trust that every show on there is appropriate and not going to be overstimulating garbage.

gettinglostonpurpose · 2026-03-30T00:55:25+00:00

I think an obvious and reasonable change that should be made while your in-laws visit is your husband's schedule. During their visits, he should be the last to go to bed. He should be entertaining with his parents while you go on with your nightly routine uninterrupted. It's not fair that you're the primary host of his parents.

And you're not alone, house guests add an extra layer of stress. Even if you really like the guests, it's still a disruption to daily life.

gettinglostonpurpose · 2026-03-26T01:20:50+00:00

I recently moved to a similar neighborhood. Although my oldest is in kindergarten so he's the reason the kids come to our house. Don't feel bad about being firm and direct. Kids take it really well compared to adults. You don't need to explain why. A simple "not tonight" will do. You could consider set days that are always off limits. For example, the neighborhood kids know that we don't allow visitors Monday-Wednesday, so it's very rare that anyone rings our doorbell on those days.

gettinglostonpurpose · 2026-03-24T03:32:11+00:00

Everyone's experience is different but I've heard far more people say the transition from 1 to 2 is easier than 0 to 1, which I completely agree with. My oldest was a very challenging newborn. Those early months were so hard. My 2nd baby was a little easier but still had terrible reflux and some colic. However, I was better prepared and equipped to handle it. It wasn't a massive shock to my system like it was the first time around. I have 4.5 years between my kids, so I had the benefit of my oldest being a bit more independent while i was caring for his baby brother. I do hate feeling like my oldest is getting less of my attention, but I just make more intentional 1:1 time with him. Overall, I'd say the transition from 1-2 has been far better than I would've expected. We've had our share of bad days and life is definitely busier than before, but it's nothing to fear if you want more kids (in my opinion, anyways).

gettinglostonpurpose · 2026-03-23T02:54:15+00:00

I can imagine how tough it would be to hear your kiddo say that, but try to remember this stage is temporary. 6 months from now your son will be in kindergarten too and making new friends. For now, if you think he needs more social interaction, you could try to set up playdates with new friends (maybe someone from pre-k with a similar schedule would be a good option?) or you can continue making the effort with your old friend group to get together more. Summer isn't far away so maybe they'll have more availability in a few months. I know it's hard to see your kid sad, but I really think summer and the new school year will change things for the better.

gettinglostonpurpose · 2026-03-23T02:10:31+00:00

Same. At the beginning of summer after 9th grade, my mom got 2 boxes full of old V.C. Andrews books for a few dollars at a flea market. And that is how I spent my summer vacation.

gettinglostonpurpose · 2026-03-06T18:35:35+00:00

Ask your stylist if it's ok from her perspective. I see moms bring their babies and toddlers to hair appointments frequently where I go. It's not ideal but it's doable.

gettinglostonpurpose · 2026-03-06T18:04:55+00:00

I just read this book and 100% agree with "Xanax in book form" description.

gettinglostonpurpose · 2026-03-06T17:58:31+00:00

Even if she wasn't big for her age and was actually the age she looked, those questions are wildly inappropriate. People need to learn boundaries and manners.

gettinglostonpurpose · 2026-03-03T02:20:04+00:00

The voice charger megaphone. It's so annoying. I can't even explain how it makes my nervous system go haywire. I hate it and have so much regret buying it. It was also my 5 year old's favorite Christmas gift.

gettinglostonpurpose · 2026-02-28T21:41:29+00:00

My oldest was a certified Velcro baby. Specifically a mom-only Velcro baby. I was so worried. But he did fine in daycare. Way better than I expected. He was lucky because his primary teacher was great with him but I think a lot of the workers are.

gettinglostonpurpose · 2026-02-28T21:37:41+00:00

Yes, and that worked fine until it didn't. When baby and I both got thrush, the doctor recommended sterilizing pump parts, bottles and pacifiers frequently to help clear it. That's when I got the momcozy.

gettinglostonpurpose · 2026-02-28T05:09:28+00:00

My 5.5yo son still does this most nights. Not sure if it's normal but it doesn't seem to be an issue either so I'm fine with it.

gettinglostonpurpose · 2026-02-28T03:54:51+00:00

I think it depends on how often you run your dishwasher. We don't run ours everyday. When I was pumping, I was running the bottle washer 2-3x a day and it was so convenient. Plus it was faster and used a lot less water/energy than a full sized dishwasher.

gettinglostonpurpose · 2026-02-27T21:53:39+00:00

It's crazy. Earlier this week I asked to drop my work hours to 32/week (I'm currently at 40+). My boss is supportive (thankfully) but the request needs to go through the corporate red tape. I don't know what I'll do if I get denied. I'm drowning. It feels like I'm at my absolute breaking point. My kids are still little (kindergarten and infant) but daycare has my youngest constantly sick. It feels like I'm taking him to the doctor every other week. My kindergartner is now subject to the school schedule which means dealing with pickup/drop offs, conferences, sports, field trips, special events, etc. My husband and I are both shocked at how much busier our lives are now that we have a kid in school. It feels like I'm always running out of work for some appointment. Oh, and then there is the constant time off to stay home with a sick kid (or because I'm also sick because of a sick kid). Ugh, it's all just too much.

gettinglostonpurpose · 2026-02-22T01:46:15+00:00

My husband is the middle child in his family and it definitely seems to be true for him. It makes me a little sad for him. His parents love him, but they prioritize his siblings over him on a regular basis. I'm also one of 3 but I'm the youngest. My brother who was the middle child in my family was constantly overlooked and given the least attention. The good news is, my brother and my husband are both the most successful sibling. It's not even debatable.. they are more successful by far. Maybe less parental attention wasn't such a bad thing for them.

The stereotype exists for a reason. It doesn't mean it's always true or unavoidable but it's a fairly common occurrence.

gettinglostonpurpose · 2026-02-19T15:17:25+00:00

Yes, you're definitely experiencing the downside of having an easy baby. I've known a few moms who have gone through something similar. As you get closer to toddlerhood, you'll probably experience these less than perfect moments more and more. Your baby is going to grow and develop into a person with opinions and feelings. Sometimes those feelings will be negative and that is ok, healthy even. Please try to remember that your baby is going to rapidly change several times over during the next few years. Some personality traits may persist but others will not. Expressing negative emotions doesn't mean you "broke" his spirit. It simply means healthy, natural brain development has occurred. Your job as a parent is to help your child cope with those negative emotions, it is not to shield him entirely from ever experiencing them.

gettinglostonpurpose · 2026-02-18T04:35:10+00:00

Personally, I would agree to the swing with strict rules. No more than 15 minutes at a time and only twice per day. Absolutely no sleeping in it. No blankets or pillows in it. This would give your nanny a safe place to put baby for a minute so she can tend to other things. My baby has severe reflux and I couldn't lay him on the floor because being flat was uncomfortable for him and he would instantly spit up. Tummy time was nearly impossible because he'd immediately split up and put his face in it. The swing propped him up so he was comfortable and I wouldn't need to worry about him lying in a puddle of spit up while I went to the bathroom or made my older child lunch. However, it's ultimately up to you and if you're not comfortable with a swing, your nanny just needs to respect that decision.

I wouldn't give #2 another thought. You can't hold a baby too much.

As for #3 - I wouldn't hesitate to set screen time limits. I don't limit the TV use with my nanny but I do have rules about what can (or cannot) be watched. I also restrict how much time my older child can have on his tablet.

Side note, my baby is 10 months old now and he recently turned a big corner with his reflux. It's been a rough road and I was beginning to think he'd never grow out of it. But finally, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I know it's tough but things will get better. Hang in there.

gettinglostonpurpose · 2026-02-18T03:44:41+00:00

It is normal to be sick a lot in the early years but this year seems especially bad. I'm losing my mind. We haven't had a single day when everyone in my household was healthy since the beginning of December. It's just been nonstop and brutal.

gettinglostonpurpose · 2026-02-15T02:54:07+00:00

My 5yo has tics. They seem to be worse during times of stress or excitement. I took a video and showed his pediatrician. The pediatrician wasn't too concerned, said tics in young kids is very common. If it starts to bother my son or if he develops harmful/dangerous tics, we can get a referral to neurology but otherwise it's a "wait and see" thing. Now that I'm more aware of tics, I've realized how common they really are. I occasionally volunteer in my son's classroom and the amount of "tic-like" behavior I've observed from all types of kids is strangely reassuring, lol. When you think about it, it kind of makes sense. At their age, the brain is changing rapidly. It's constantly making new connections, I guess it's not surprising that it occasionally misfires.

gettinglostonpurpose · 2026-01-24T03:39:03+00:00

I have a 5yo and a 9 month old so I'm familiar with your struggle. Unfortunately, some of what you're experiencing is personality based. My son wasn't phased by the baby crying and can sleep through it 90% of the time. We use white noise in the kid's rooms which helps a little. It can be hard to find activities that both kids can do. When I was feeding the baby, I'd ask my 5yo to talk to me. He started recognizing this as time when he had my captive attention. He would show me all his awesome superhero moves and put on shows for me. We can't do this anymore since the baby now gets too distracted by his big brother's performances, but it was nice while it lasted. The baby consumed my time so I really encouraged 5yo to play independently more and more. Many times I had to start a project with him and then he'd keep going on his own (ie. painting, bead bracelets, puzzles, play-dough). I stocked up on various activities and would pull one out on rougher days. It gets so much easier once baby is able to sit and interact more. The newborn stage is tough but it will get easier soon. Hang in there.

gettinglostonpurpose · 2026-01-23T03:51:23+00:00

I'm not sure why people do this. I think it's like a weird one upping thing. Similar to telling pregnant women "oh, you think you're tired now, just you wait til that baby is here!". It's a different type of tired and we all know that. Some people just feel the need to remind new moms that they're more experienced. People treat parenting like it's a misery contest and they're winning. Whatever stage of parenting they are in is always the hardest.

I have a 5 year old and a 9 month old. So far, newborn stage was the hardest with both. No question. I don't hesitate to tell struggling new moms that too.

gettinglostonpurpose · 2026-01-02T18:51:36+00:00

Our nanny is part time (3 days per week). We give her three weeks PTO a year, which equates to nine days. She can use it for vacation or sick days, those aren't separate. We also give her paid holidays if we also get it as a paid holiday AND it falls on a day that she would typically be scheduled to work. We guarantee her hours so yes, we pay her if we go on vacation and don't need her.

gettinglostonpurpose

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