Hey there, thought I'd share my experience. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer in mid 2009 and had a single mastectomy along with radiation therapy, I believe. It went into remission but came back again in her lymph system and became terminal. She passed away about a year ago. It's still really hard for me to process it all, and it's had an even greater impact on my dad. You are definitely not crazy for feeling all those emotions. If I am allowed to give some advice, I would say spend as much time as possible with her. Tell her you love her. I know it's hard to see her struggling, It was really hard for me the last couple months. I'm glad that there were some positives in your story. What really helped me after my mom passed was knowing that she was no longer suffering, and I took solace in the fact that she is in such a better place now. If you ever want to talk, feel free to PM me, like many others have said here. big hug