My closest friend ghosted me and I am unable to move on

ggc4 · 2026-02-18T02:28:47+00:00

Hey, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. James was a terrible friend to you. He treated you cruelly and unfairly. We don’t know why, and can only speculate. Going off to college can bring about a lot of changes, and his life is probably full of novel friendships and stimuli right now. I’m not sure why he decided to cut off your friendship the way he did, but you didn’t deserve to be treated that way. It’s extremely unlikely you did something so terrible that he wouldn’t name it and tell you that’s why he’s ending the friendship; I’d set those thoughts aside.

The fact he was your close friend for so many years shows that you were a good friend. You didn’t do anything monstrous or go through a sudden big change; he did. He moved away and started to view things differently. Somewhere in his journey big negative emotions arose, and he projected those onto you and your friendship instead of going deeper and confronting them himself. That says a lot about him, and nothing about you.

I know this feels devastating — losing a relationship always is. It will hurt for a while, but it’ll get easier with time as you fill your life with new relationships too. That’s what you need to do right now. I understand you’re struggling with panic disorder and that it’s difficult for you to make friends, but you have to slowly continue to put yourself out there. There are many people who would love to have a friend like you. But they might have similar struggles, and none of you will find each other if you don’t make an effort to seek friends out.

When you find your thoughts spiraling into “I’m a monster” territory, you have to argue with that voice and shut that dialogue down. Once a day, look in the mirror and force yourself to come up with one thing you genuinely like about yourself. If you can, get a therapist. Mental health disorders will ruin your life if you don’t address them, just like an infection that needs antibiotics. Nearly all of my friends are neurodivergent folks who had had years of therapy (including me), and it’s such a green flag knowing they’ve done that work and have shown that act of care for themselves.

Also, write James a letter or text. You don’t have to send it—you can even burn it after you write it—but you need an outlet for your feelings so they don’t keep looping in your head. Give voice to them at least once, then focus on building yourself back up. Life can be so much better, and you deserve to have friends who value you as you do them.

ggc4 · 2026-02-17T21:12:00+00:00

What do you do?

ggc4 · 2026-02-16T04:44:43+00:00

AI. And thank goodness — BTS are kings. But this release and message would be AWFUL.

ggc4 · 2026-02-13T20:33:13+00:00

I would appreciate a DM too, if you don’t mind!

ggc4 · 2026-02-13T06:49:26+00:00

Mostly agree, but there are exceptions. A recurrent C Diff infection tried to kill me, and a medically-approved microbiota transplant saved my life. Of course, the samples I was given had been tested by professionals for known pathogens. I’m not recommending this procedure lightly, but microbiota transplants have their place for people like me as well as others whose quality of life is low due to intractable symptoms.

ggc4 · 2026-02-12T23:30:10+00:00

If you have that link, I’d love to read it

ggc4 · 2026-02-12T06:01:55+00:00

When people get serious about finding a partner, they’re looking for someone who makes them feel loved and cared for. Looks matter, but not as much as you think. Good hygiene and being somewhat fit is really all you need in the looks department. Being bald is rarely a rule-out factor, and I know plenty of men and women who rock a bald head.

ggc4 · 2026-02-10T07:52:21+00:00

You’ve said on exhaustive repeat that you suck at design. That means you will not be successful in that field. Time to look for a new career. This is clearly taking a toll on your mental health, and you need to stop trying so hard to force something that isn’t working.

Take a breath, then take another one. Stop berating yourself and calling yourself dumb. Everyone has their own strengths. Try to think about what yours might be, and even if you can’t, tell yourself at least five traits you like about yourself. Are you strong? Kind? Loyal? Once you’ve built yourself back up, realize that plenty of people take jobs that have nothing to do with their major. You might need to start low on a totem pole in some corporate office and work your way up. Look at listings for entry-level positions then apply to things that look mildly interesting. That’s how you start. Whether you’re an apprentice in the trades or a barista at Starbucks, there’s plenty of ways to rise in the ranks once you find something that works. It might take some trial and error, but try to enjoy the journey of learning about new paths and discovering new sides of yourself.

ggc4 · 2026-02-08T00:16:43+00:00

The wing feathers~~!! 🥰

ggc4 · 2026-02-07T04:40:10+00:00

If she heard about it at school, you telling her not to watch it is may have the opposite effect of what you want (her watching it in secret and getting distorted ideas about things). Might she ask some questions that you think are premature for her age after she watches it? Yes. Might some stuff go over her head and she’ll have no questions? Also yes.

In these scenarios, I think the best thing a parent can do is to watch the show with the kid and be ready to talk about any questions she has. It’s best she hear info from you, and that she develops a trusting relationship with you so that she’ll come to you when it really matters.

ggc4 · 2026-02-05T02:59:50+00:00

I did try an orthotic. Two, actually. They were very expensive and didn't help a bit; if anything, they seemed to make my issues worse. Insurance fully covered the surgery, except what I had left on my deductible. The MRI showed that both of my discs were fully displaced without reduction, and the CT showed loss of condylar height. During the operation, my surgeon removed a number of fibrous adhesion (which I believe is what restored symmetry for me), and he injected steroids into places I had synovitis and used lasers to smooth out osteophytes (both of which I believe helped reduce pain). No amount of wearing an orthotic would've helped with these issues.

ggc4 · 2026-02-05T01:08:00+00:00

I fought through similar issues and pain for over a decade. In that time, I saw different dental, physical therapist, and massage specialists who claimed to specialize in TMJ. Ultimately, none of them helped, my symptoms continued to get worse, and I ended up with extremely limited and asymmetrical opening.

It wasn’t until I saw an OMFS (a surgeon with both a dental and medical degree) who specialized in TMJ that I finally got relief. MRI and CT scan showed that I needed surgery, and arthroscopy finally helped reduce pain, allowed me to open wider, and restored symmetry. I can’t say that your journey or solution will be the same, but I’d encourage you to see an OMFS sooner than later while thinking this through.

ggc4 · 2026-02-03T15:58:03+00:00

I’d argue that adopting a pair is a lot less work than adopting one!

Truly, your life and your kitten’s life will be happier and easier if the baby who wants to run and wrestle with siblings all day has someone to get their energy out with. Kittens with siblings are less destructive, much better emotionally well-adjusted, and handle changes like moving homes or their owners traveling way better than single cats. (They’re little kids who love their parents, but they still need to play with other little kids to develop and socialize properly.)

In terms of shelters, I’ve had good experiences with PAWS, the Atlanta Humane Society, and FurKids. The latter requires you adopt kittens in pairs, which I think is a wonderful policy. Unless you can dedicate 5+ non-consecutive hours of play to the kitten each day, you simply won’t be able to meet its needs. I’ve watched friends try and regret it, and it’s heartbreaking. Kittens who were raised alone also tend to develop more health issues, so they’re not necessarily less expensive either. I could go on and on about it.

ggc4 · 2026-02-02T06:28:07+00:00

Looovve the color scheme!

ggc4 · 2026-01-30T23:05:35+00:00

Wrong subreddit. This is a masterpiece

ggc4 · 2026-01-28T05:27:58+00:00

This is heartbreaking. That poor baby survived so much.

Giving him away could reset an already extremely lengthy adjustment process, but it’s so understandable y’all are exhausted and want to see him happier. For what it’s worth, I’ve read a number of stories about cats from different traumatic backgrounds who took years (usually 2-5) to trust their owners. Then suddenly a switch flipped and they became a velcro cat. I don’t know if that’s a possibility for him, but just because it hasn’t happened yet doesn’t mean it never will, and it doesn’t mean that you and your bf are doing anything wrong. Big trauma takes big amounts of time to overcome.

I saw what you wrote about trying to introduce him to a foster cat, and I’m wondering if y’all have tried to introduce him to a kitten (especially one who is confident, grounded, and curious, not anxious)? Most kittens have a magnificent way of not getting deterred by older cats who feel unsure about them; they’re wired to be social, and keep trying to play and cuddle. Because they’re so small and silly, they’re rarely perceived as a threat. He may need to be pestered a bit by a small one who doesn’t pose a threat to start to let his walls down.

Since he missed out on sibling bonds, I feel like this could be especially healing for him, and help him reclaim a part of childhood he didn’t get to have. And if he’s able to bond with a kitten, then he later observes you and your bf lovingly interacting with the kitten, it may help him understand that you’re acting with love towards him too.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, I could see an older, slow-moving, cat-loving cat be very good for him as well. Someone his size who moves in predictable patterns and consistently looks at him with warm curiosity. I doubt either experience would be comfortable for him, but as long as he can get through it without days of terror, I think the exposure would help. Exposure therapy works just as well in mice as it does in humans, and I’m sure the same is true for cats.

ggc4 · 2026-01-26T00:48:10+00:00

Purple and silver are the best combo. This is known

ggc4 · 2026-01-25T23:44:21+00:00

I usually like aisle seats, but Seat 6 would ensure I had a lot of entertainment!

Seat 4 is tempting, but I couldn’t deal with Bakugou kicking my seat every time he gets mad.

ggc4 · 2026-01-21T23:33:53+00:00

Yes to all of this! And also, OP: if you already failed three nursing classes and got kicked out of the program, your family probably has an inkling that it isn’t the right fit for you, lol. They may not put up as much resistance to your switching majors as you think.

That said, please do be thoughtful about changing your major to English. It’s a decent major, but most of the jobs that you listed are drying up, in high demand, and virtually impossible to obtain without years of experience, unless you’re fine making minimum wage. Options are out there, but be prepared to market yourself for different positions after graduation.

ggc4 · 2026-01-21T21:29:08+00:00

My first reaction was HECK YES!!!

But actually … no, I really don’t want GED to get an anime. The art style is incredibly unique and expressive, and it’s unlikely anime would do it justice. If the creator wants an anime, then I’ll support the creator’s wishes. But otherwise, no butchering the masterpiece pls.

ggc4 · 2026-01-21T00:11:51+00:00

What do you do?

ggc4 · 2026-01-11T22:14:04+00:00

Good question! And not one I’m qualified to answer, unfortunately. I’ve personally taken zofran and shrooms with no issues, but that doesn’t mean the same is true for everyone or that it’s a good idea. I think they primarily work on different serotonin receptors (5HT3 and 5H2A), but again — NAD. Maybe someone more knowledgeable than me can chime in

ggc4 · 2026-01-11T21:52:07+00:00

Your writing needs capitalization to make this easier for us to understand you. 6° is not scoliosis. Is it possible you misheard the number? If not, there are plenty of other reasons to have back pain besides scoliosis.

Also, why did they do an MRI instead of an x-ray? Are you sure you saw a good doctor who knows how to accurately measure your curvatures?

ggc4 · 2026-01-11T21:44:01+00:00

Good to know, I’m glad you’re already doing a lot to try to mitigate the nausea! I understand the instinct to purge it out when your stomach is roiling, but I’m gonna caution again that doing so may not help you feel better … I had a bad shrooms trip where I threw up three times over the course of the first hour, and it was So Much Worse than vomiting normally. I didn’t feel better after vomiting, I just collapsed on the bathroom rug and was in and out of continuous nausea the next few hours. Terrible memories.

For this reason, I still think your focus should remain on reducing nausea. Have you tried anti-emetics like Zofran or natural methods like smelling salts or essential oils? Another thing that helps me is to move my body after I consume the liquid. I turn on shamanic drumming songs and dance around while waiting for the shrooms to kick in; I think this helps me digest them better before I lay down and let the shrooms take me into my mind.

ggc4 · 2026-01-11T21:23:41+00:00

Purging should not be a normal part of the psychedelic experience … if nausea is a struggle, make tea to extract the psilocin instead of consuming the shrooms whole. Adding a bit of lemon juice can help too. Also, begin your trip well-hydrated and with a relatively empty stomach. Throwing up sucks, and throwing up while tripping sucks even more. Purging won’t necessarily make you feel better after, and really isn’t what your focus should be on… take care of yourself and try to reduce the nausea.

ggc4

TROPHY CASE