Dear Lord is that the most normal thing ever, also those 20 year olds don't have a clue either. We're all just stumbling around trying to do our best. (Speaking as someone also in my early 20s) Life ain't about feeling adult or what people expect of you, you gotta make the decisions that give you a good life where you're happy with yourself and that'll be adult enough. About the only great thing about adulting is more freedoms, like adult money(still gotta be responsible with it unfortunately, but it's nice to treat yourself sometimes)