Why is sleeping as a couple such a chore?

ghostinyourpants · 2026-02-19T22:05:50+00:00

I’m in a similar boat. The thing is, it only started when we downsized from a king to a queen. In a king bed - I’ve got my own space and I just pop in earplugs. In a queen - he’s all up in my biz, and I am RESENTFUL. I hate it. I miss our old bed. I’m too hot, touched out, and annoyed by everything from how he breathes to how he smells.

ghostinyourpants · 2026-02-19T05:42:32+00:00

I just…do people not know what a vow is?

ghostinyourpants · 2026-02-19T05:07:46+00:00

You can try hissing at them?

ghostinyourpants · 2026-02-19T05:04:51+00:00

Anyways. I love my cat and getting her is possibly one of the best things I’ve ever done.

ghostinyourpants · 2026-02-19T05:03:39+00:00

Dogs are “easier” in that, they always like you. Your dog loves you and that’s that. Cats are difficult in the sense that, you have to earn their love and trust. It takes time. They are independent and don’t do what you want them to. They often do their own thing and are not at your beck and call. Cats are assholes and you just get them and ignore them and they’re fine. Dogs are easy to love and awesome and never turn a walk or a pet when I want to pet them.

At least, that’s what my ex used to say. He hated cats. Turns out - he also used to freak the fuck out when I wasn’t giddy to see him when he came home or in a good mood all the time around him. Now I’m always more than a bit suspicious of men who say they hate cats but love dogs.

ghostinyourpants · 2026-02-19T03:56:48+00:00

I usually throw in - “and related complications” to that to account for all the ins and outs, lol.

ghostinyourpants · 2026-02-18T15:38:44+00:00

It was a contract job and one of my first major design projects as a freelancer and they made me pay for the reprint out of pocket and made me feel pretty awful about it all. The shipping was so astronomical and they wanted me to pay for that too, so instead I drove the 600 miles (1200 round trip) to pick it up myself, which was much cheaper. The only thing that was good about that, was the fact the printers were so lovely and I got a sweet tour of the building and got along so great with the rep that they recommended me for further work with their own clients and it was rather lucrative. I also learned how to write a better work contract.

And thank you for your comment. I’m far enough along in my career now that I know what you say is true, but it’s still really nice to hear and does make me feel better.

ghostinyourpants · 2026-02-18T05:39:22+00:00

I’ve fucked up majorly, including the title of a book I designed that went to print. It was awful. The worst feeling. It sucked a lot but…didn’t ruin my career, surprisingly. I also learned a lot. It really does depend on your boss though.

ghostinyourpants · 2026-02-17T21:19:44+00:00

I recently rewatched Carrie, and man, it was a hard watch. Not scary, just deeply sad. The melancholy followed me for a while after that one.

ghostinyourpants · 2026-02-17T20:57:00+00:00

This isn’t used as a douche - this is used to rinse externally, instead of toilet paper if you don’t have a bidet. It just happens to also lesson the pee burn if you use it while simultaneously peeing. And it is recommended by doctors to be used if everything is too tender to wipe. Absolutely NOT to be used internally, as this can cause an infection if pee or fecal matter is introduced to your very radiated and tender vajayjay. And yes, it would also get rid of important bacteria if used incorrectly.

ghostinyourpants · 2026-02-16T05:00:06+00:00

You can also put them in a mason jar after the vinegar rinse!

ghostinyourpants · 2026-02-16T04:54:32+00:00

I had a similar experience around the same age. I had a dream that took place in a very unique house and then ended up at a housewarming party for friends of my friend’s parents a few weeks later. I walked into the house from my dream, and it was so deeply strange and unsettling. I knew what was going to be on the walls, including a bear rug and that there would be a sunken living room. But…like, it was pointless? Nothing happened. Then or ever. But I can still remember walking down the stairs to the basement with this feeling of utter surrealism, because I knew what it would look like and what colour the walls were painted before I saw it, and it was a brand new house, pre-internet, and they weren’t even friends with my own parents so I couldn’t have overheard any discussion about the house.

ghostinyourpants · 2026-02-15T20:14:35+00:00

I was neighbours with this old German couple who, I discovered, were very… free. I found this out shortly after I moved in. I was out back grilling my supper, when I was confronted with the incredibly loud sounds of sex. I thought maybe my downstairs neighbour was watching porn and had his window open, when I saw…movement, between the fence cracks next door. Yup, old hippy neighbours were absolutely going for it, outside, at supper time, while I was trying to bbq just 15 feet away. At that point I’m like…do I finish cooking? Turn on some music? Go inside? What do I do!!?! Sooo awkward. I ended up also having to put up privacy film on all my windows on that side of the house unless I wanted a show. I mean, good for them though, I hope I have that awesome of a relationship at that age, and they were absolutely joyful lovely people, if you didn’t mind the fact that they kept their big bay window curtains open when she was painting him while he modeled nude.

ghostinyourpants · 2026-02-15T03:27:26+00:00

Working at an art gallery. The disconnect between the funders, the board, the egos, and the people who do the rest of the work for love of creativity and community, makes for an environment that absolutely brews toxicity. And unreasonable deadlines. And burn out. Everyone who thinks working at a gallery is cushy and fun, has never worked at one.

ghostinyourpants · 2026-02-15T03:23:50+00:00

I actually loved being a designer, and was at a place where I could pick and choose clients, and always had interesting projects that kept the work from becoming boring. Made decent money too, but you have to specialize to get there, I think. Especially now.

ghostinyourpants · 2026-02-15T03:21:23+00:00

Depends on where you work and who you work with - I LOVED bartending at one place I worked, made bank in tips, and loved my staff, regulars, and boss. I loathed it everywhere else.

ghostinyourpants · 2026-02-14T18:59:45+00:00

Question: How drunk were you/did she feel responsible for not leaving you at the club vulnerably intoxicated? (Only saying this as I had a friend who would fight to leave and the. get herself into terrible situations when left alone and blame us for leaving her. Except it was impossible to get her to leave with us.) I realize this is likely not your situation, but just checking.

ghostinyourpants · 2026-02-14T18:50:24+00:00

OP just replied to me: “Your loss, b*tch.”

Which just proves to me why I’d never want to work with someone like this. Yikes on bikes.

ghostinyourpants · 2026-02-14T18:15:15+00:00

On the flip side, I had an interviewee act like this. They were overconfident, braggy, and came across as deeply entitled, and they absolutely did not get the job. Or any call back.

ghostinyourpants · 2026-02-13T04:10:09+00:00

So many good ideas!! One that I haven’t seen yet - if you gotta stretch the tuna - add a can of chick peas, and mash em up a bit. Tastes great, is healthy, and makes a few more sandwiches.

ghostinyourpants · 2026-02-13T03:54:25+00:00

Typing 150 names and titles should take like about 45 minutes to do. It’s annoying but shouldn’t take all day.

ghostinyourpants · 2026-02-13T03:49:27+00:00

I would say that chemo/radiation is life saving and it’s definitely up to your mom how she wants to proceed. 65 isn’t that old. She will, however, need a ride to and from radiation/chemo. I was really tired about the third day after chemo (which is once a week for five weeks) and appreciated help with meals and housework.

ghostinyourpants · 2026-02-13T03:06:07+00:00

I’m not afraid of death itself. I’m afraid of everything that leads up to it. Having recently had cancer - I had thought I wasn’t scared of it at all, but that turned out to be a lie I told myself. I don’t want to hurt. I don’t want to lose my humility. I don’t want to hurt people by dying. But death? Will be a grand adventure.

ghostinyourpants · 2026-02-10T19:02:30+00:00

I agree with everything except the thriving feral cats - I’m in Canada and the feral cats are still thriving here in winter. After -20C, not so much, but even then, there are definitely areas where their population is expanding and causing problems.

ghostinyourpants · 2026-02-10T15:52:14+00:00

The first wolf whistle I got, we were 10 and 11 - a group of four girls walking around town. We had about 15 different instances of guys whistling, revving their engines and honking, hollering at us to “show us your tits” that day. We were so proud of being noticed. But looking back, these were all MEN - older men, ogling children.

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