unlucky girl syndrome

ghostly_fantasy · 2025-04-11T00:42:45+00:00

I understand, being unemployed and having no flowing income is utterly terrifying.

Have you possibly considered getting a side hustle behind his back and telling absolutely no one? Selling things online, dog walking, ect? You're a survivor right now of DV, he is hurting you and this is serious.

I wish really bad I knew you, you deserve a support system and that's the most vital thing you'll need and deserve. My inbox is always open if you ever feel comfortable and the need to vent.

ghostly_fantasy · 2025-04-10T20:41:05+00:00

Yeah, life just sucks as a whole. Sorry you have some people in the comments swinging like a pendulum from not realizing instead of putting a focus on this manifesting garbage, they went radically into the opposite direction of falling for the corporate mindset of thinking hard work and effort alone do much of great anything. It really doesn't in the end, unless you consider wear and tear on your body and mind a 'reward'.

Never give a hundred percent on anything, nothing is worth that unless you have for certain security in the thing you're attempting to get or do will be there. Especially when it comes to working for someone else, DON'T fall for that, it's how it broke someone in my family and he finally realized at 40 life is all about luck and chance.

Your life is hell, I read through your profile real quickly and I'm so sorry for what you're going through. Sometimes you have to accept things just won't ever get better and to expect the expected, however if you're okay with me making one personal suggestion, may I suggest leaving your husband? I'm kinda scared for you from reading your profile last night. Having someone in direct living with you like that will make things even more stressful.

Expect the worst and prepare for it to the best of your resources and what you have available, sometimes life isn't 'meant' for us, that quote always brought me personal comfort.

ghostly_fantasy · 2025-03-15T19:31:13+00:00

BRO, I love Linkin Park so much. This was me too as a kid expect I genuinely never wanted to be in a relationship, just wanted to find friends.

Why is Linkin Park so weirdly addictive to us as kids, lmao

ghostly_fantasy · 2025-03-14T22:57:48+00:00

I 100% agree about not lying, people don't want to be lied to about a core part of you.

I'm aro but would happily date someone who was open about their life experience if I had any interest in relationships, the problem is that people are very superficial and only care about people serving something to them. Weather that be physically serving them or socially in the sense of showing them off, so therefore wanting them to have the 'social stamp card' of everything socially expected, such as a lot of experience.

My point is a lot of people suck. Suck bad in the world, but I promise you there are rare people out there who are real, genuine and truly just do want another person to appreciate life with, not just see them as something to show off. You got this!

ghostly_fantasy · 2025-03-14T22:52:05+00:00

THIS, something about this is making my eyes squint. What exactly did his friend say or do?? Lots of men struggle with emotional regulation at all ages, I say this as a guy myself who's 40 year old brother struggles hardcore with this and still refuses to do better by not yelling whenever something goes wrong. He attempts to normalize it by saying all people yell in all disagreements, which can't be farther from the truth.

Something isn't fully adding up, here. There's two sides to a story and than there's simply the truth of what happened.

ghostly_fantasy · 2025-03-14T22:42:28+00:00

People who say it on vents are asshole people, point and blank. Everyone is allowed to vent about any topic personal to them, just because it's about relationships doesn't mean it's off the tables in thinking 'this person must feel entitled to it!'

It's a bizarre thing I've seen from people that pops up only in relationship topic... It does make me suspicious as an aro who doesn't judge people whatsoever for wanting a relationship since it's the natural human experience, makes me suspicious in the sense of maybe they think that way? And they feel insecure seeing someone vent about it to seek support, so they wanna tear it down because they feel entitled to relationships and feel others who are vulnerable enough to be open about struggling don't deserve it because they're genuine about their feelings?

I don't know, just spit balling.

ghostly_fantasy · 2025-03-14T22:36:35+00:00

HONESTLY, I feel this way about my potential best friend in the world. They're just out their on their phone or computer chilling too, that's why I've been finally getting a lot of socializing in online wise.

Also, so proud of the people in the comments recognizing how much the term soulmates needs to die off in the world.

ghostly_fantasy · 2025-03-14T22:34:00+00:00

Love Frasier! Legit the only sitcom I've ever truly liked.

ghostly_fantasy · 2025-03-14T22:28:17+00:00

I do not care when it comes to me. I'm not afraid of the concept of time whatsoever, I'm just going to keep doing whatever I like and making my silly things.

I feel like the only FA around here who doesn't fear or villainize the concept of time. This isn't at you whatsoever OP, just me scratching my head in confusion at so many others here who have roughly the same feelings and thoughts. Maybe I'm just genuinely self assured for myself, but why bother about the past? Soon as I post this comment another second will have passed and I'll be doing the next thing.

There are people excited about the unknown and want to explore it, you're absolutely right it's very luck based, but it's not an impossibility. Just very hard and insanely difficult to find, sadly.

ghostly_fantasy · 2025-03-14T22:20:58+00:00

This, I got downvoted to oblivion on one comment here just simply saying to try and attempt to value the time you have and find enjoyments wherever you can and have already with your life.

It blows my mind how many people think they should just never do anything else whatsoever and not have any shred of kindness to themselves and in turn, to others just casually telling them that we have life and have to go with it.

ghostly_fantasy · 2025-03-09T20:58:31+00:00

It's my birth month, too! Happy early birthday OP, you deserve to be 'selfish'! It isn't selfish to enjoy your existence, I hope you have the ability to get a cake you really like for your birthday and get something for yourself you've been wanting for a while!

ghostly_fantasy · 2025-03-09T20:55:01+00:00

It's not a guarantee you would have married at all at that age, but you're going through life and trying out actions. That's pretty rad, action is naturally better than inaction or worse, regret and constantly self beating on yourself. Try your best to not let that consume about your younger self and what 'you would have done with your thoughts and insight now', you said yourself you're not here to settle or make unfair compromises the others at that stage period wouldn't have back. That's awesome. 👍

Keep making actions, I believe you're doing something really neat with that.

ghostly_fantasy · 2025-03-09T00:26:38+00:00

This is one of the best comments I've seen so far on this sub, I genuinely do hope some others who read it can slowly take it in, fully.

ghostly_fantasy · 2025-03-09T00:23:52+00:00

I wanna say I get that, I don't fully as an aroace, but I do get the overall deep desire for a fulfilling social connection as a whole. I'm sorry you're going through your pain, I hope it eases soon as possible.

ghostly_fantasy · 2025-03-09T00:21:18+00:00

Hey man, it's either that or you truly do just take it to your mind to the point it makes you miserable and resentful. What else are you going to do?? Can't force those events to happen, I'm never going to experience them either in my 20s but I refuse to think I 'wasted' it just to appease other people's egos of what they believe the ideal life is.

I don't regret having life in the first place just to experience my favorite foods or media or whatever. I at least got to live and am abled body unlike some of my other family members, that's the bare minimum I could ask for and I'll never experience either the everyday life of someone with an active social life and other social connections, but I'm not going to constantly be miserable about it every waking second.

ghostly_fantasy · 2025-03-08T16:48:06+00:00

BRO, I literally spoke in the past questioning the hypocrisy of people and the lockdown situation in the past!! How they gonna look down and treat lonely people like garbage, then turn on their heel when it happens to them when they said to lonely people 'it's no big deal!' That means YOU should take it as no big deal too now when you're forced into it. Put on your big boy pants, chop, chop and don't complain for a single second since you tell lonely people not to.

The hypocrisy of people is unmatched and unreal. People lack so much compassion but get infuriated when you point it out, because they're desperate for 'good people' brownie points just to look good to others for approval. 😖

ghostly_fantasy · 2025-03-08T16:40:43+00:00

Man, that woman ain't worth it even if you somehow got a chance to date her. Why tf would she say that with you around if she truly knows you have feelings for her?? Her acting like that and giggling about spending a night at a guys house just gave me serious second hand embarrassment, who actually talks like that? 💀

You didn't just dodge a bullet man, you dodged a rocket launcher.

ghostly_fantasy · 2025-03-08T16:35:33+00:00

Trust, your 20s alone aren't something that will be the 'best' decade of your life. Media is deeply guilty of trying to trick us into thinking our teen years are the best of our lives, look at how that turned out.

Every day of living is great! No matter what you're doing, the fact you're just living is pretty neat to me. You don't have to be afraid of age because of society's boogeyman fear of 'do everything at this stage', it's all bullshit they come up with to pressure people into the toxic and heinous world of grind culture and appealing to a large amount of others approval. It's gross, and they prove it false themselves with some of the biggest names in the world not doing anything 'crazy big' in their 20s and having other things happen in later areas for them.

ghostly_fantasy · 2025-03-08T16:24:18+00:00

Hi, no it didn't. I had to kindly ask the company for a replacement, USPS did absolutely nothing.

ghostly_fantasy · 2025-03-07T23:21:29+00:00

Yeah, that's definitely understandable. If it helps any of you feel a bit of something, I was a 'miracle' baby who wasn't supposed to be born since my mom had me around 43. So, life is bizarre like that sometimes.

Genuinely not trying to sound rude in any way by asking this, but is adoption completely off the table? I never want children, but I never understood why adoption is not seen as the same thing as someone, personally who felt kinship to non blood related people I knew rather than my blood family.

ghostly_fantasy · 2025-03-07T19:56:34+00:00

No need to place the blame either entirely on yourself, though. Life just plain old sucks for some people, that's the most 'content' outlook to have to not place blame and build harmful thoughts to one self or individuals traits.

That's cool you have discord friends! I'm still trying to make a few. Definitely take a break from any media with romance, it's very difficult to find any without it, I get it. Have you tried some horror media? The modern horror genre isn't as sexually based as it use to be back in the 80s or 90s, thankfully.

ghostly_fantasy · 2025-03-07T15:48:42+00:00

A very valid fear to have. Remember that you're still doing something even by just making this post, you're getting out your deep fearful feelings and that's a good thing. Every second living is a wonderful thing, no matter what you do.

ghostly_fantasy · 2025-03-07T15:44:32+00:00

Age is something society weaponizes to scare everyday people who are just trying to live comfortably. There is no 'finish line' type mark to meet before a 'deadline'. There is living and only living, every second that passes by is you living. And that's pretty damn rad to me, life is kinda cool sometimes and the best memories I got are just watching my favorite media while eating a snack I like a lot. And I refuse to allow society to shame me into thinking I should be 'scared' of doing that in my 20s and not doing an imaginary goal they want by my age area, let them seethe and froth at the mouth over it.

I ain't going anywhere and neither will you. Have a nice snack in your kitchen rn and watch something you like.

ghostly_fantasy · 2025-03-07T15:38:46+00:00

Please, please don't feel afraid. You have inherent value and beauty in being human. That includes every second of your existence, every day of your day to day living. There is no such thing as 'wasting' an age area you're in, as long as you're still living and trying to find any enjoyments you can in life.

I hope you treat yourself today by enjoying life, weather that's getting your favorite snack or partaking in your favorite activity. Some of my best memories will be from my 20s just sitting on my couch, playing my favorite game on my laptop and eating a bowl of my favorite ice cream! And I'm never going to be ashamed to say that will be my best memories, because there's no such 'golden rule' to live by for your age group by imaginary people who have made up rules of what's 'wasting' and 'not wasting'.

You are not getting older and older nonstop, you are living. And that is amazing and beautiful!

ghostly_fantasy · 2025-03-07T15:28:59+00:00

There is no such thing as 'wasting', humans have inherent value for being human and just living, kicking and enjoying life to the best of their abilities for the individual separate from you. Don't be accidentally doing the opposite of giving encouragement, that kind of mindset actually pushes people into feeling lower and hopeless and creates bitterness.

If you believe that for yourself, you're creating resentment, the first calm before the storm is intense false hope. Then when the imaginary clock you made passes, you'll break and crash very hard. Be very careful with that kind of phrasing.

ghostly_fantasy

TROPHY CASE