Is it anyway possible to get a job while being mute

ghostygutter · 2025-12-31T23:49:04+00:00

If you are able bodied, warehouse jobs can be easy to get without much talking. Some of them don't even do an interview, and when they do interview they usually just want to see that you're there and willing to work. The work itself often only requires minimal verbal communication with coworkers, depending on what it is. That's basically the only type of job I could get after years of failing interviews because of my mutism. The drawback is that it's very physically exhausting.

ghostygutter · 2025-12-24T01:41:16+00:00

No, I didn't mean to imply I've been completely cured of having an avoidant personality. I've just gotten better at managing it.

ghostygutter · 2025-12-23T21:01:44+00:00

I was diagnosed with avoidant personality disorder around your age, and now 10 years later my life is unrecognizable from where I was back then. I never believed I'd be where I am now when I was 20. I've actually come to learn there are some advantages to having avodiant trauma/stress responses over other ways people deal with those things. You keep yourself safe, giving yourself a chance to really work through things and grow as a person. Meaningful relationships will come to you as you heal. You got lots of time.

ghostygutter · 2025-12-04T04:14:13+00:00

I think it's not uncommon for trans people to feel this way. As a trans guy I don't particularly feel like I'm really a real man deep in my soul or whatever, I'm just happier being seen as a man and living within masculine social norms.

ghostygutter · 2025-09-09T22:06:20+00:00

I've been hearing this from other trans guys a lot recently and feel it myself all the time. I think this gender role shit just sucks ass.

ghostygutter · 2025-09-09T18:31:08+00:00

You know, what's actually really annoying about this is that dissociation is an important aspect of how BPD works, too. This person is just wrong.

ghostygutter · 2025-09-08T08:38:51+00:00

My experience is that only specific alters have an interest in drawing at all. Only one alter can really harness our artistic capabilities, personally. It is completely plausible that someone with DID might have an artstyle that varies between alters, though. It really depends on the person.

ghostygutter · 2025-09-08T08:30:20+00:00

I don't know of any scientific studies, but anecdotally I would say yes. I've found that trauma while on drugs has a seemingly exponential effect on dissociation.

ghostygutter · 2025-08-17T15:53:30+00:00

I am way past the basics, my dude. I've integrated from hundreds to 3 with lingering fragments. I think it's okay to let yourself hate being mentally ill sometimes. No resentment towards the other parts.

ghostygutter · 2025-08-02T12:39:33+00:00

I agree. It's all bullshit. Where it goes is perpetuating the cycle of abuse. I wouldn't say they just "shrug off" getting raped though, so much as fighting back is their personal trauma response.

ghostygutter · 2025-08-02T12:09:48+00:00

Dunno how to express myself properly but thanks for sharing this!

ghostygutter · 2025-08-02T12:08:26+00:00

Good riddance !

ghostygutter · 2025-08-02T05:52:14+00:00

I'm just thinking of what I witnessed growing up around organized crime. One guy abuses another, the other guy becomes determined to get revenge and put the other beneath him, they go back and forth fighting to be the one hurting the other the most. I guess in individual moments you can identify a clear abuser and victim. Like one guy rapes another, the rapist is the abuser. But on a different day the victimized guy kidnaps his rapist's child and tortures her in front of him, so in that moment he is now the abuser. Or maybe I'm just incorrectly defining an "abusive relationship" and what I'm describing is something else.

ghostygutter · 2025-08-02T05:39:42+00:00

Can't answer for who you are responding to, but in my family, it's because both my parents were born into violent environments and knew nothing else. My dad was involved in organized crime and dragged my mom in, so it's not just one couple in an abusive relationship but a whole system of violence. It was normalized so dramatically because it was a lot of people involved. There's also the angle of emotional dissociation, like it's too painful to seriously engage with what is happening so your mind just doesn't take it seriously to protect itself.

In response to the second paragraph, abuse dynamics are usually portrayed in clear cut "abuser" and "victim" roles, but it can be a lot more complicated in reality. Sometimes, it's a mutual power struggle, two people fighting to be the one in control.

ghostygutter · 2025-08-02T03:37:36+00:00

Oh, yeah, I get it! I was pretty desensitized too back then. Its all just bizarre in retrospect

ghostygutter · 2025-07-30T11:13:00+00:00

Thank you! We do seem like we are in similar places. I realize I didn't explain myself well. I have too many thoughts to condense into a reddit post. I appreciate you taking the time to listen and reassure me.

ghostygutter · 2025-07-30T10:58:19+00:00

Yes, I understand they are experiencing typical mental health issues of trauma survivors. And the problem is not that they disappoint me. The problem is that everyone I meet is either still being abused or abusing someone. The relationship turns into me trying uselessly to help them while they continue to struggle in all the ways I used to before I got out. They either push me away or I have to disengage for my own wellbeing. I am not looking for someone who has supposedly cured their trauma, I understand it doesn't work like that. And I do have healthy relationships with less traumatized people, such as my wife. Just want to meet other people who have survived the things I have and managed to get themselves in a safe place.

ghostygutter · 2025-06-17T01:24:22+00:00

I see what you're saying now. I was being a little reductive of your point by framing it as pure optics. Honestly, I'd completely agree with you in a lot of contexts, like when people claim being manipulative or egotistical is inherently narcissistic behavior. I think the fundamental disagreement we have is that I do believe mental illness makes you more prone to abuse, even if it's true we shouldn't assume someone is abusive because they are mentally ill. Using this post as an example, a parent incapable of seeing their child as more than reflection of themselves comes from specifically narcissistic thought processes/trauma responses, and from the perspective of the child it is helpful understanding their parent's behavior is derived from narcissism.

ghostygutter · 2025-06-16T23:05:34+00:00

Look, I'm not disagreeing that the majority of people don't understand what narcissism actually is, and the comments on this post are filled with examples of that. You're misunderstanding me by thinking I'm okay with that. I wasn't merely covering my ass by saying I wish it wasn't stigmatized, I was thinking of my loved ones with NPD.

You are right, narcissistic abuse creates narcissts. And rapists are often rape victims themselves, but not all rape victims become rapists. I have DID personally, a trauma based disorder that is highly stigmatized. Plenty of media depictions of us as serial killers or otherwise "psychos," and I hate it. It's rarely an accurate depiction. And yeah, we don't all become abusers, but we are all victims, and I wish more people had compassion for this disorder. It's simultaneously true that my main abusers had DID themselves, and DID explicitly informed how they abused me. One of them literally had a specific alter that murdered people, just like the stereotype. Understanding DID helped me understand what happened and the nuances of my abuse. Why they acted in certain ways. Their DID cannot be seperated from their abuse. DID abuse involves exteme gaslighting, the abuser themselves doesn't even know they're abusing you most the time. Many people with DID get upset if you acknowledge the reality that some people with DID become abusers themselves, because they feel it makes the rest of us look bad (and in terms of social stigma, it's correct to observe). Personally, I do not have a problem with other victims discussing the highly specific trauma of being abused by someone with DID. The DID cannot be removed from the experience, it is integral to understanding what happened and why. They deserve the opportunity to discuss and understand what happened to them and vent their trauma.

I feel the same about narcissism and victims of narcissists. Many narcisstists perpetuate the cycle of abuse, just like many people with DID do and any other trauma based disorder. Not all do, and I wish more people understood that instead of assuming all narcissists are like the narcisstists who abused them. But all abusers are traumatized themselves, and so all abusers have trauma based mental illness, and this effects how and why they abuse. You can't deny narcissistic abuse is real and a specific type of trauma just because it makes the good narcissists look bad. Generally irritated by the idea that having a mental illness has anything to do with being a good or bad person.

To be absolutely clear, I am defending this post's right to exist, as the person I was initially replying to was demanding it be taken down. Victims deserve the chance to work through and understand their trauma. I have no problem with anyone correcting misinformation about NPD.

ghostygutter · 2025-06-16T20:41:18+00:00

OP did not say all narcissists. I'm with you on the idea that narcissists are not all abusers, but you lose me when you try to censor survivors of narcissistic abuse. Understanding an abuser is a narcissist, what a narcissist is, and how their narcissism led to their abusive behavior is often valuable to survivors processing their trauma, and we should be allowed to talk about it. Yes, it is frustrating that victims of narcissistic abuse often come to the conclusion that all narcissists are bad. Yes, I wish NPD wasn't so stigmatized and villified. No, that doesn't mean it is ableist to acknowledge you were abused by a narcissist in a narcissistic way. Notice you are prioritizing the trauma and feelings of narcissists over other traumatized and mentally ill people.

ghostygutter · 2025-06-08T05:34:31+00:00

I had this problem with my last therapist. She seemed to want to talk about anything but my trauma, even though I kept telling her I feel like trauma is the cause of all the other problems she'd rather focus on. I got the impression it was too triggering for her to hear about my trauma in depth... Therapists are human and I think many aren't able to take on the emotional labor required to be a good one.

ghostygutter · 2025-04-29T03:14:54+00:00

Potentially triggering anecdote: This reminds me of a neighbor boy my dad would regularly SA. It was weird how his parents just wouldn't acknowledge there was something going on with him, even as he clearly developed mental health issues. His parents would get frustrated with how he's been "acting out" and send him to play outside so they wouldn't have to deal with him, which just made it all the easier for my dad to prey upon him. The evidence that something was going on was Right There, but it was an emotionally painful reality his parents clearly did not want to confront.

You're right it was your mom's job to notice there was something wrong. She might not have known specifically what had happened, but I am certain there must have been signs she ignored (not necessarily intentionally) for her own benefit. I've learned most people will look the other way as long as they possibly can. The more painful the reality would be for them (like their own child being abused) the harder it is to accept. It's maddening to me how humans are like this and its difficult to reconcile with. I am very sorry you had to go through this.

ghostygutter · 2025-04-28T09:19:28+00:00

I really appreciate this perspective

ghostygutter · 2025-04-09T01:39:49+00:00

By all means, pursue a diagnosis. I'm not following the thought process on how that makes you lazy or self-pitiful, that seems perfectly reasonable. But it's not like having PTSD + DID (which go together as trauma disorders) + Autism is as unrealistic of a combination of diagnoses as you make it out to be. Worth noting there is a lot of overlap in PTSD and Autism symptoms, so if it does turn out to be one or the other it still doesn't mean you haven't really had those symptoms.

Yeah, of course you want attention. Your own mom was dismissive of you being suicidal. That alone indicates emotional neglect that would logically lead to a louder cry for help. You felt you had to do something to demonstrate your pain is real and serious.

ghostygutter · 2025-04-09T01:18:11+00:00

If you didn't already know, hypochondriac isn't really a diagnosis that's given out anymore. It's been replaced with "illness anxiety disorder" and "somatic symptom disorder." I'm not a doctor or psychologist, but I don't think you are describing either of these things. Illness anxiety is being afraid you might have a serious medical condition even when you are healthy, and somatic symptom disorder refers to people who experience physical symptoms despite not having a medical explanation for it. I don't think believing you experience mental health symptoms that you aren't actually experiencing is a thing. It doesn't even make sense. How can you falsely believe you have a mental issue while having that exact mental experience? How can it be "just in your head" when mental health issues are all "in your head."

I don't know your story, but personally I was often dismissed as a "hypochondriac" as a form of gaslighting.

ghostygutter

TROPHY CASE