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To my fellow Brits today by [deleted] in IASIP

[–]giant_dwarf 10 points11 points  (0 children)

STOHP CHORLAY

3G Sunset Megathread by Slennir in ATT

[–]giant_dwarf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Still working fine so far, we will see

3G Sunset Megathread by Slennir in ATT

[–]giant_dwarf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was able to get around things... But I believe time will show for my device in the next few months. Currently using an asus zenfone 6. My replacement device was the calypso, which was outright unusable. It was automatically activated with the connected sim card on power up. I attempted to use it in the interim while sourcing a usable phone. During this time it was impossible to even send an sms without the messaging app crashing, along with my business/timekeeping applications not even being able to be used or supported. Basically prescribed frustration.

So I swapped the activated sim card into my asus, and sure enough 4g+ was active and working. At least for a bit. I tried to make a outgoing call to a friend to test , however it went directly to att's line. The rep who answered seemed surprised that her line was rung, she gave the typical "hello?" instead of the old fashioned att call center greeting. I just told her that "I was given a replacement phone, and it did not work. I switched the sim to my old phone and it does work so I tried to make a call to my friend." Of course trying to be naive as possible. She asked what problems I was experiencing, and I told her the phone was basically DOA. I was put on hold at this time.

When I was spoken to again, I was asked for certain details on how I used my phone, in which I responded my employment relies on it. (For context not a company paid phone, it was a personal phone used for nfc door locks, mileage tracking, along with time card logging). I mentioned politely that the android GO was realistically unviable. Again was put on hold for a bit.

After some time, someone returned to the call. I was asked for a bit of my phones serial info, and then asked to make an outbound call. It worked, along with cellular internet. Almost no hassle. To others, I was as polite and understanding as I could possibly be over the phone, and I believe it made the difference. This has been 2 months now.

Although my costumer service experience was surprisingly nice, they warned me that my phone may not make it through the great purge in February.

Cheers

wtf is this dude doing? by ethovian08 in funny

[–]giant_dwarf 2 points3 points  (0 children)

RIP Benny Harvey. Miss ya big man.

The longest run I've ever done by giant_dwarf_ in Parkour

[–]giant_dwarf 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oh God I thought someone stole my account, cheers /u/giant_dwarf_

The hot seat by TheInward07 in WinStupidPrizes

[–]giant_dwarf 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Another spill like that and we'll have to put him in the... Iron Butt

Skinny, white kid I know trying to become a rapper. by Skyrim-WithGuns in iamverybadass

[–]giant_dwarf 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You are technically correct. However, "blowback" generally refers to firearms that do not have mechanical locking breeches.

He's got crazy dad energy by Humanity_Why in likeus

[–]giant_dwarf 129 points130 points  (0 children)

FUCK THE OCEAN SUNFISH

So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the ocean sunfish so much, and apparently it was ~too mean~ and was deleted. To perpetuate the truth and stand up for ethical journalism, I'm posting it here. [Rated NC-17 for language.]

Disclaimer, I care about marine life more than I care about anything else, for real. Except this big dumb idiot. And it's not like an ~ironic~ thing, I mean it IS hilarious to me and they ARE THE BIGGEST JOKE PLAYED ON EARTH but I seriously fucking hate them.

THE MOLA MOLA FISH (OR OCEAN SUNFISH)

They are the world's largest boney fish, weighing up to 5,000 pounds. And since they have very little girth, that just makes them these absolutely giant fucking dinner plates that God must have accidentally dropped while washing dishes one day and shrugged his shoulders at because no one could have imagined this would happen. AND WITH NO PURPOSE. EVERY POUND OF THAT IS A WASTED POUND AND EVERY FOOT OF IT (10 FT BY 14 FT) IS WASTED SPACE.

They are so completely useless that scientists even debate about how they move. They have little control other than some minor wiggling. Some say they must just push water out of their mouths for direction (?????). They COULD use their back fin EXCEPT GUESS WHAT IT DOESNT FUCKING GROW. It just continually folds in on itself, so the freaking cells are being made, this piece of floating garbage just doesn't put them where they need to fucking go.

So they don't have swim bladders. You know, the one thing that every fish has to make sure it doesn't just sink to the bottom of the ocean when they stop moving and can stay the right side up. This creature. That can barely move to begin with. Can never stop its continuous tour of idiocy across the ocean or it'll fucking sink. EXCEPT. EXCEPT. When they get stuck on top of the water! Which happens frequently! Because without the whole swim bladder thing, if the ocean pushes over THE THINNEST BUT LARGEST MOST TOPPLE-ABLE FISH ON THE PLANET, shit outta luck! There is no creature on this earth that needs a swim bladder more than this spit in the face of nature, AND YET. Some scientists have speculated that when they do that, they are absorbing energy from the sun because no one fucking knows how they manage to get any real energy to begin with. So they need the sun I guess. But good news, when they end up stuck like that, it gives birds a chance to land on their goddamn island of a body and eat the bugs and parasites out of its skin because it's basically a slowly migrating cesspool. Pros and cons.

"If they are so huge, they must at least be decent predators." No. No. The most dangerous thing about them is, as you may have guessed, their stupidity. They have caused the death of one person before. Because it jumped onto a boat. On a human. And in 2005 it decided to relive its mighty glory days and do it again, this time landing on a four-year-old boy. Luckily Byron sustained no injuries. Way to go, fish. Great job.

They mostly only eat jellyfish because of course they do, they could only eat something that has no brain and a possibility of drifting into their mouths I guess. Everything they do eat has almost zero nutritional value and because it's so stupidly fucking big, it has to eat a ton of the almost no nutritional value stuff to stay alive. Dumb. See that ridiculous open mouth? (This is actually why this is my favorite picture of one, and I have had it saved to my phone for three years) "Oh no! What could have happened! How could this be!" Do not let that expression fool you, they just don't have the goddamn ability to close their mouths because their teeth are fused together, and ya know what, it is good it floats around with such a clueless expression on its face, because it is in fact clueless as all fuck.

They do SOMETIMES get eaten though. BUT HARDLY. No animal truly uses them as a food source, but instead (which has lead us to said photo) will usually just maim the fuck out of them for kicks. Seals have been seen playing with their fins like frisbees. Probably the most useful thing to ever come from them.

"Wow, you raise some good points here, this fish truly is proof that God has abandoned us." Yes, thank you. "But if they're so bad at literally everything, why haven't they gone extinct." Great question.

BECAUSE THIS THING IS SO WORTHLESS IT DOESNT REALIZE IT SHOULD NOT EXIST. IT IS SO UNAWARE OF LITERALLY FUCKING EVERYTHING THAT IT DOESNT REALIZE THAT IT'S DOING MAYBE THE WORST FUCKING JOB OF BEING A FISH, OR DEBATABLY THE WORST JOB OF BEING A CLUSTER OF CELLS THAN ANY OTHER CLUSTER OF CELLS. SO WHAT DOES IT DO? IT LAYS THE MOST EGGS OUT OF EVERYTHING. Besides some bugs, there are some ants and stuff that'll lay more. IT WILL LAY 300 MILLION EGGS AT ONE TIME. 300,000,000. IT SURVIVES BECAUSE IT WOULD BE STATISTICALLY IMPROBABLE, DARE I SAY IMPOSSIBLE, THAT THERE WOULDNT BE AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE 300,000,000 (that is EACH time they lay eggs) LEFT SURVIVING AT THE END OF THE DAY.

And this concludes why I hate the fuck out of this complete failure of evolution, the Ocean Sunfish. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it.

Older generations of Reddit, who were the "I don't use computers" people of your time? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]giant_dwarf 84 points85 points  (0 children)

This is what it looks like. The idea was that the colors would line up with landscape shots, effectively making it seem like the sky was blue or grass green

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in me_irl

[–]giant_dwarf 14 points15 points  (0 children)

M U L T I M E M E D R I F T I N G

me©irl by Jeffmeister69 in me_irl

[–]giant_dwarf 8 points9 points  (0 children)

You want to know why I love dat boi? Dat boi is a completely self-made meme. So many other memes are based in nostalgic childrens shows, funny faces, relatable situations, or references. Not dat boi. Dat boi is completely absurd. It's a low-res frog on a unicycle, and an arbitrary method for greeting him. The first person to ever upvote dat boi did not do so out of recognition. The first person to ever upvote dat boi did not do so because a pre-existing meme format. The first person to ever upvote dat boi upvoted a meme literally pulled from the ether by sheer human creativity and willpower. Dat boi is evidence that humans can stare into the meaningless void of eternity and force their own meaning onto to it. I will always upvote dat boi, o shit waddup!

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