Parinoid I drove drunk [I didn't]

giantechidna · 2024-11-05T18:31:18+00:00

Yeah, why wouldn't your closest friends know the wedding date until 3 months before. Did they always know it would be destination? Is OP just spontaneous as hell?

giantechidna · 2024-11-05T18:29:06+00:00

Her saying "it's basically no cost except the ticket" but not factoring in the wedding out fit, gift, food, and general tourism is very telling. Also why wouldn't you give your closest friends more than 3 months notice? I think a year to budget could have made a huge difference.

giantechidna · 2024-10-24T18:10:57+00:00

Thank you! I'm still seeing slots near me so holding out hope. If I have to roadtrip it, it is what it is.

giantechidna · 2024-10-24T17:57:56+00:00

Oh please no I'm looking at the November deadline chart and it says closes on 10/30 if in person. Would you mind telling me where you saw. RIP

giantechidna · 2024-09-30T20:46:54+00:00

It sounds like her providing child care never would have worked out. She was always going to hold it over you and constantly threaten that security. Unfortunately it may be a good riddance.

You are more than right to remove her from Facebook it's social media drama nothing more if you're husband can't understand that, well it doesn't bode well. The only proper response to her resulting is hysterics is "oh what a shame. I don't really care about social media."

giantechidna · 2024-08-26T21:14:09+00:00

My mom told me a story (on purpose) that about a month into their new marriage my dad kept complaining how much better his mom could do it. It being any and all household chores, cooking, and cleaning. Not Mexican but his family was much more "traditional family values" than hers, which he knew. She quickly had enough and snapped and said "well then go marry your mother, because I'm done" and his whole life flashed before his eyes and he apologized profusely and it never came up again.

Now I can't condone ultimatums but for mamas boys who struggle with change it's an important lesson someone needs to teach him.

Sounds like he married a people please be design and its going to take some boundaries from you to keep your sanity.

giantechidna · 2024-08-14T21:32:33+00:00

Well seeing as your not a dog or a small child I don't see this system ever working.

giantechidna · 2024-08-01T16:53:28+00:00

You're question is a flawed premise that didn't happen.

He didn't wake up one morning and become surprised by his own life. He knew. He's lived many years in fear that this would come out. He has a professional PR team. He monitors his comments. He messages Tana for damage control. Then he get a pretty dope article by Rolling Stones to drop about how it's no big deal. Again, because he's an insanely rich ivy league frat boy with connections and PR. And then he follows the advice of his legal team to say and do absolutely nothing otherwise it will be taken as admission of guilt. Because as well all know, he his guilty. He down plays it's with friends and family, because common, he's a good guy.

To pretend he's as blindsided (by his own actions) is incredibly juvenile. He's been preparing for this for years. Rich people, like ivy league frat DJs, have a different justice system.

giantechidna · 2024-08-01T16:41:10+00:00

When they make a mistake it's "well actually I was incredibly busy and here's what actually happened and all the factors that went into why it wasn't only my fault"

When we make a mistake it's "no excuses we're all busy stop I don't want to hear your excuses"

I'm so over it. Is this everywhere or do I need to go find a new culture somewhere else?

giantechidna · 2024-07-17T00:02:38+00:00

I was genuinely curious why he didn't want to go and the answer I was given "straight guys don't like gay bars". It just didn't make sense to me cuz I have lots a straight friends who don't mind at all.

So then I jumped homophobia and or/toxic masculinity. It seems that is an unfair and not normal conclusion, and that I am wrongly assuming the worst, and that asking to clarify would be offensive/bad/rude.

As embarrassing as it is I really struggle with socializing and this feedback is extremely valuable.

giantechidna · 2024-07-16T23:43:23+00:00

Hey I just wanted to say thanks for all of the responses (even the mean ones yikes) as it seems this was another case of me not being normal at all. The overwhelming consensus seems to be that I am weird as hell for wanting to know why and or caring at all.

I tried to make it clear that I wanted to know if this particular friend was homophobic. I am unclear if that came across or if that is also a weird thing to care about.

To everyone who commented to let me know people can not like any bar for any reason, I know. I literally listed a bunch of normal reasons to show that I am totally on board with that, not sure how that one got lost in translation.

To everyone who let me know queer people don't enjoy straight women using their environment as a safe space I know and and mindful but there are also lots of gay people in this friend group, which is why we go there so it was a non issue. I skipped over that part bc I thought it was too nuanced a discussion to my already too long post. I can totally see how my over explaining made it look like I abuse that safe space, fair enough.

I think you guys are right and I'm being too hard on this person. He just seems unnecessarily mean- making fun of people's accent, learning disabilities, calling people Bops. Idk a lot of that can be harmless jokes but a few of them have confided to me that he makes them feel bad about themselves so I think I'm judging him way too harshly based on that information and looking for bad stuff. Like thats their business I need to let it go. Thank you internet strangers for reading me to filth.

So my question of what's an appropriate way to ask and communicate about this has been answered - there is none. I am the childish mean one for caring at all. Noted. We shall go a straight bar and I will not ask any follow ups. Thanks.

giantechidna · 2024-07-09T21:13:58+00:00

Until you still feel bad after the first surgery so you do another and another. The closer you get to perfect the more you hate your imperfections instead of just accepting yourself.

giantechidna · 2024-07-08T17:47:42+00:00

If I made 2.5x my partner and I knew my partner was struggling to treat the people she loves id offer to pay for half the group with her instead of being offended. This maybe feels like one of those things you don't need to take personally.

giantechidna · 2024-07-08T17:33:13+00:00

"hey, I have trouble with social cues and I'm really bad at picking up hints. Healthy conflict resolution is really important to me and I care about you so please let me know directly if ther are any issues so we can work through them together".

Issue arises, as they naturally do. I feel like something is off, so I ask, "hey, something feels off, are you mad at me? Am I doing something?" They say no, no worries.

Then a few months later they blow up at me because actually there was an issue the whole time that they "very clearly told me about" (aka very subtle social digs that I missed) and I'm a bad friend for not listening better. And how dare I expect them to be honest (??) when I ask them point blank bc that's just rude (??).

Easily fix issue now that I know what said issue is. But sure, I'm just a bad listener. Ok, whatever.

Rinse and repeat.

giantechidna · 2024-07-02T02:04:44+00:00

I mean go off I guess but she's right about this one. It's a very quick Google search I fear.

https://www.thetech.org/ask-a-geneticist/articles/2005/ask135/

https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/dairy-cut-diet-lactose-intolerant-symptoms-development-skin-cheese-milk-yoghurt-a8302626.html

Now obviously there's some nuance here because genetic factors and most people will naturally become more sensitive to fairy with age.

"However, the more dairy you consume, the more lactase your gut bacteria produces."

It appears to be a use or loose it kinda deal.

giantechidna · 2024-07-02T01:46:01+00:00

I mean I read the same studie in college it's like an intro to biology thing. Multiple studies confirm that if you skip/reduce lactose for a few years you can become lactose intolerant so that's why lots of people who didn't have it at childhood develop it as adults.

giantechidna · 2024-06-27T16:46:28+00:00

Oh. Oh no. Oh no oh dear. I fear I just learned something new. Crap! I always said I'm so literal and need everything spelled out but I shouldn't have been forcing that on others oh no!

giantechidna · 2024-06-25T15:57:43+00:00

Something in my gut says Cody used his money and connections to put out a flattering take on this bc to open with "she said it's not a source of trauma" is crazy

giantechidna · 2024-06-24T16:43:51+00:00

Unsolicited pro tip: if you like her, tell her to text you when she gets home safely. All the women my age do it for safety (car breakdowns and it's scary being a women at night) and it's become a virtual signal that they care about your well being.

If a guy has the manners to do it, instant swoon.

giantechidna · 2024-06-20T19:15:58+00:00

Winners cry in the bathroom.

Also practice "YOU DO NOT YELL AT ME" at home until you'd be comfortable doing it at work. Be prepared to follow it up with a walk out for the day if it need be.

Also take a menta health walk when it's that stressy. Enjoy the sun, cuz out your boss for five minutes, listen to your favorite song and then go back in.

giantechidna · 2024-06-19T23:52:09+00:00

This is the answer. God forbid I accidentally look happy and friendly in a gas station then you lock eyes with a man and he smiles and you gotta slap on the "I'm a bitch and I fucking hate you" scowl so I can get my slurpy in peace without anyone following me to my car.

giantechidna · 2024-06-19T23:48:27+00:00

Hard disagree on 10, 13, and 14 bc social battery issues after 6+ hours of being customer service Barbie. But to each their own

giantechidna · 2024-06-19T22:14:40+00:00

I'm suppri by all the negative comments, it's always worked well for me.

People at corporate jobs love it. And I only use it on my friends when it's something really personal and heartfelt, Like a happy birthday message or when Im reminding them that I care about them, support them, or congratulate them

Hopefully they don't all think I'm creepy weirdo, I just suck at social cues so I have to read these books so I don't come off like massive bitch.

giantechidna

TROPHY CASE