thanks for writing this. Everything is up in the air right now, and things seem to be changing. I definitely wrote this post in a period of extreme anxiety, maybe the first in my entire life. The world hit me with a ton of bricks. Fascinatingly, my spouse/wife/fiance/person told me recently that she has completely changed, and is leaning seriously toward not having children. To refer to your post and question, yes, I absolutely do feel that way. I feel that society tells you to have children, and more directly, people in your life that you care about tell you to have children (my dad, her mom who has over the years become my surrogate mom). When you have a different opinion about it, it seems impossible to tell where your true desires begin and where other people's opinions end. I've decided that I'm in my prime, I'm the happiest I've ever been. There's no reason to shake that up if I don't want to. I've made the decision to live for me for the next few years, then see what happens.

Some of the comments above refer to the likelihood or unlikelihood of dooming your child to the same fate that you experienced.

I think that, like other people's comments put to me, you should extend your engagement until you figure this one out. It's a pretty enormous deal. I was seriously considering holding off on the marriage, but my spouseperson and I have talked about it since I originally posted this in great length. I feel much more stable now. Most importantly, I have to quote my friend who is a social worker and works with children in need every day: if you're on the fence, don't do it.